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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To go swimming in the sea whilst the kids are in bed?

462 replies

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 18:44

We live by the sea. It is fifteen metres through the garden from the door to the edge of the water. It is a safe place to swim and we are good swimmers.

Are we unreasonable to go for a fifteen minute swim once the kids (preschool) are asleep? They never wake. We would have a friend lined up who would come and babysit if they don't hear from us after half an hour (in case of shark attack or other unforeseen event)!

Basically the only risk is a house fire. We would not have any appliances running and the house would never be more than 30 metres away and in full view. Window open so we'd hear smoke alarm.

I feel like this should be acceptable as it's basically like having a swimming pool in your garden. But for some reason I feel it isn't okay, but I don't know why!

What would you do?

YABU you should be locked up for even thinking of it.
YANBU it's just like a swimming pool, it's fine.

OP posts:
80smonster · 13/07/2025 00:09

This is the ending to Catastrophe isn’t it?

Bowies · 13/07/2025 00:04

Can you swim with a friend instead? No, I don’t think you should both be leaving the house for half an hour.

If you had a pool the kids would be able to find you in their garden, they can’t be expected to come out looking for you in the sea, nor I’m sure would you want them to!

Takestwohourstoniptotheshop · 12/07/2025 23:57

Christ no

TunnocksOrDeath · 12/07/2025 23:51

The worst I've ever seen my husband look was when he walked in the door after the search to find an acquaintance who'd fallen in the river was called off. They'd been out in launches looking for him for three hours before the cold and dark meant they had to assume the worst and return. The poor man's body was pulled out over a month later. Accidents do happen on the water, I wouldn't risk leaving children alone while both of you go out, especially if they don't know you're gone. Just take it in turns.

ThatsNotMyTeen · 12/07/2025 23:40

Not ok

mathanxiety · 12/07/2025 23:28

And it's not a question of what could happen to the kids.

The sea can be treacherous even on a calm evening, and I assume there would be no lifeguard on duty.

Utterly daft and seriously irresponsible.

LittleGlowingOblong · 12/07/2025 23:27

It’s not 1%. It’s 0.0001%.

The benefits probably outweigh the risks.

mathanxiety · 12/07/2025 23:27

This can't be for real?

Offleyhoo · 12/07/2025 23:23

Have you watched the very end of the last ever episode of Catastrophe? I'd suggest you watch it OP.

Theroadt · 12/07/2025 23:19

Yes, swimming in a garden pool would be lower risk but still a risk (I always worry I’d have a heart attack in ours due to being unheated…🥴🤣 so I only do it if my husband is in the house with the kids. The sea - definitely not. You cannot possibly swim and keep your eyes on the house the whole time.

Qoopwhooping · 12/07/2025 23:18

cranberryshortcake · 12/07/2025 18:58

I’m assuming you’ve heard of Madeleine?

My first thought.

Theroadt · 12/07/2025 23:15

I’m sure Maddy McCann’s poor parents would be good evidence to say - 99% of the time probably fine, but that 1% would be catastrophic. Don’t.

SisforSusanna · 12/07/2025 23:14

We have a 2nd home by the sea and we did go and swim while children were asleep. It’s a very secluded place. It’s difficult to say without having all the information though.

BlueLegume · 12/07/2025 23:09

@Maezzle are you another Daily Fail ‘reporter’ phishing for a story?

ChaliceinWonderland · 12/07/2025 23:01

No this is neglectful.

andanotherproblem · 12/07/2025 22:59

Uh, have you never heard of Madeline McCann? What is wrong with you

RandomUsernameHere · 12/07/2025 22:58

YABU. It really isn’t at all like going for a swim in a pool in your garden.

BonneMaman77 · 12/07/2025 22:58

@Maezzle how about you just ask said friend to come to the house for the 15 minutes you’re on your swim and they can leave when they see you coming out of the water.

LBFseBrom · 12/07/2025 22:47

CheeseWisely · 12/07/2025 18:46

You can take it turns surely, one of you stay in the garden and the other swim then swap?

That's what I thought.

BetterWithPockets · 12/07/2025 22:47

This has reminded me of when DD was very little. We had a tiny back yard at the time and for some reason, our dog didn’t like to pee there at night — so he’d always get a short walk before bed. When DH was away (as he was a lot, back then), the short walk basically consisted of us repeatedly going up and down the street, me with the baby monitor in one hand; I’d go as far as I could without going out of range, and keep my eye on the front door. Even that felt quite risky!

Getitoffmychest · 12/07/2025 22:37

Is your surname McCann

Mildorado · 12/07/2025 22:29

pelargoniums · 12/07/2025 22:28

It’s a sex pond

😂😂

pelargoniums · 12/07/2025 22:28

Mildorado · 12/07/2025 22:25

No, it's a "think lagoon".

It’s a sex pond

Mildorado · 12/07/2025 22:25

VainAbigail · 12/07/2025 21:55

it actually is like a swimming pool really. No sharks, no currents, no boats, etc. Think lagoon!

A lido?

No, it's a "think lagoon".

Painrelief · 12/07/2025 22:22

What’s as concerning as the post is the 10% of the 2100 who have voted on it that YANBU …

I don’t think you could be any more unreasonable to leave your small children alone to go swimming in the sea … I would also worry about other decisions you make that you think are reasonable .

and I have ADHD and my decision making is fooked lol .