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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To go swimming in the sea whilst the kids are in bed?

462 replies

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 18:44

We live by the sea. It is fifteen metres through the garden from the door to the edge of the water. It is a safe place to swim and we are good swimmers.

Are we unreasonable to go for a fifteen minute swim once the kids (preschool) are asleep? They never wake. We would have a friend lined up who would come and babysit if they don't hear from us after half an hour (in case of shark attack or other unforeseen event)!

Basically the only risk is a house fire. We would not have any appliances running and the house would never be more than 30 metres away and in full view. Window open so we'd hear smoke alarm.

I feel like this should be acceptable as it's basically like having a swimming pool in your garden. But for some reason I feel it isn't okay, but I don't know why!

What would you do?

YABU you should be locked up for even thinking of it.
YANBU it's just like a swimming pool, it's fine.

OP posts:
AutumnFog · 12/07/2025 18:59

I wouldn't unless there was a child 11 or older in the house who was responsible enough to watch the younger one and call for help if needed.
The risk is low, but it is higher than being in a pool.

cranberryshortcake · 12/07/2025 18:58

I’m assuming you’ve heard of Madeleine?

chicola · 12/07/2025 18:58

We need a photo or diagram 😎

MiddlingMarch · 12/07/2025 18:58

If there are more than one of you, take turns. One in the house the other swimming. Unless you cant go swimming alone for safety reasons, in which case either leave one adult at home and the swimmer takes a spotter, or get a babysitter.

Worst case scenario, you both drown and the kids blow up in a catastrophic house fire. More likely worst case is you get into difficulties in the water and have to answer tricky questions about why you left small children home alone to swim. Or something happens to one of the kids and you also have to answer tricky questions about why you went swimming and left the kids home alone.

Not worth it.

bellamorgan · 12/07/2025 18:57

I’d go in my own pool in my own residence yes. Because toddlers could come bounding down the stairs to me. Or a baby monitor close enough to listen in. Sadly now my children are older they hear us in the pool and come down and jump in too 🤣

PenelopeSkye · 12/07/2025 18:57

Realise you said 15 mins not 30, but this doesn’t help! You say they never wake- mine rarely do, but when they do- they do!

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 18:55

Ah yeah okay. I should have predicted that people would think of sea related dangers 🙈 I can't say more without being too outing but it actually is like a swimming pool really. No sharks, no currents, no boats, etc. Think lagoon!

I take the point that you all think this is dangerous.
But just out of interest, would you do the swimming pool in the garden? Or is that too wild as well?

OP posts:
SalmonEile · 12/07/2025 18:54

What’s the point of only going for 15 minutes? Is it actually going to be 15 minutes or would it in reality be longer?
Why do you need to go together- in case one of you gets into trouble?
Can you see the sea from your back door? Can’t one of you go and the other stay by the back door so they can keep an ear on the kids and on the other person at the same time ? Then swap?

vodkaredbullgirl · 12/07/2025 18:54

BreakingBroken · 12/07/2025 18:52

I’ve seen that movie, it doesn’t end well.

Jaws 😂

Jennyathemall · 12/07/2025 18:54

The fact you ask the question tells me you shouldn’t be living by the sea with two young children. The next story will be about two drowned children who wandered to the water while left unattended.

Laiste · 12/07/2025 18:53

FlippyKiYayFlippyFlipper · 12/07/2025 18:48

You want permission to leave your preschoolers plural unattended in the house?

You wont get it from me.

Why would you risk it?

This.

If you were leaving them alone in the house to go a few doors down for a beer it would be unacceptable.

Just because it all sounds lovely having the sea on your doorstep doesn't make it ok.

GoldDuster · 12/07/2025 18:53

Not leaving preschoolers alone in the house for any reason. Not even for a romantic swim in the sea. Unless this is the royal we, take turns.

parrotonmyshoulder · 12/07/2025 18:53

The ‘edge of the water’ is 15 metres from your back door? I don’t believe you.

No, obviously don’t do this.

MsTamborineMan · 12/07/2025 18:52

This is insanity. The sea is nothing like a swimming pool

It also seems madness to inconvenience a friend every time you want to go swimming, who essentially has to be on call in case you don't respond, rather than just going swimming one at a time

BreakingBroken · 12/07/2025 18:52

I’ve seen that movie, it doesn’t end well.

Poppins2016 · 12/07/2025 18:52

It only takes a few seconds - minutes for something to go wrong. There is more risk being in the sea (unpredictable, more risk of an accident or unexpected currents) vs a swimming pool.

I'm all for enjoying the garden while in sight/earshot of a baby monitor. But I think being in the sea (AKA not in sight/earshot) is a step too far and a risk not worth taking. You'd have no idea if one of the children had woken up, hurt themselves, was unwell, if there was an intruder, etc... and what if something happened to you? You need to anticipate the absolute worst case scenarios. Statistically, the risk is low... but there's still a risk and I guess you probably wouldn't forgive yourself if something happened.

Kneeslikethese · 12/07/2025 18:51

You speak as though there is more than one of you. Take turns.

TFMinx · 12/07/2025 18:51

If I was the friend you’d ‘lined up’ then I’d be calling social services. You simply can’t leave children, especially ones so young, alone and vulnerable. You’re both insane and selfish.

bellamorgan · 12/07/2025 18:51

Far too young. Once they are like 12 ok.

Topjoe19 · 12/07/2025 18:50

You absolutely shouldn't do this.

vodkaredbullgirl · 12/07/2025 18:49

Yeah they be fine

Give Me A Break Reaction GIF by reactionseditor
Paoal · 12/07/2025 18:49

Yabu, if your friends would come over in 30mins why not just have them come around and be in the house or take it in turns

BeakyFlinders · 12/07/2025 18:48

Are you serious? Tell me you’re not.

BallerinaRadio · 12/07/2025 18:48

Yeah of course the sea is just like a swimming pool in your back garden, we all have the ocean in your back gardens right?

FlippyKiYayFlippyFlipper · 12/07/2025 18:48

You want permission to leave your preschoolers plural unattended in the house?

You wont get it from me.

Why would you risk it?