Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To go swimming in the sea whilst the kids are in bed?

462 replies

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 18:44

We live by the sea. It is fifteen metres through the garden from the door to the edge of the water. It is a safe place to swim and we are good swimmers.

Are we unreasonable to go for a fifteen minute swim once the kids (preschool) are asleep? They never wake. We would have a friend lined up who would come and babysit if they don't hear from us after half an hour (in case of shark attack or other unforeseen event)!

Basically the only risk is a house fire. We would not have any appliances running and the house would never be more than 30 metres away and in full view. Window open so we'd hear smoke alarm.

I feel like this should be acceptable as it's basically like having a swimming pool in your garden. But for some reason I feel it isn't okay, but I don't know why!

What would you do?

YABU you should be locked up for even thinking of it.
YANBU it's just like a swimming pool, it's fine.

OP posts:
JustAnInchident · 12/07/2025 19:07

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 19:02

Because they are both on the same side of the house. There are no windows on the back of the house either.

What 😂 sorry I cannot picture this at all.

Funnily enough we’ve a similar set up re proximity to the sea, although it isn’t a millpond as your sea seems to be.. regardless, it’s not a good idea. Anything could happen and it isn’t worth doing imo.

despairofbadscience · 12/07/2025 19:07

You asked peoples opinions and then when given them got snippy with people. You know what go swimming it’s obviously what you want to do but if the worst happens it’s on you

StMarie4me · 12/07/2025 19:07

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 19:00

Oh right, my mistake. I didn't realise Madeleine's parents had all the doors in windows of the house in view at all times. I thought they were out of sight.

Your flippant attitude is repugnant. Just because you have not been given the validation that this would all be okay.
You need to take it in turns.

JackJarvisEsq · 12/07/2025 19:06

I struggled with the idea of going for a shower when mine was little never mind frolicking in the sea!

HettieHg · 12/07/2025 19:06

A house with no doors and windows on one side thats 15ft from the sea, which is more like a lagoon?

This is too funny 🤣

Allseeingallknowing · 12/07/2025 19:06

You shouldn’t have to ask ! Of course it’s not ok!

Whaleandsnail6 · 12/07/2025 19:06

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 19:02

Because they are both on the same side of the house. There are no windows on the back of the house either.

Only one side of your house has windows and doors?!

HettieHg · 12/07/2025 19:05

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 19:02

Because they are both on the same side of the house. There are no windows on the back of the house either.

Where do you live? An old western jail?

MsTamborineMan · 12/07/2025 19:04

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 12/07/2025 19:02

What kind of weird-ass house do you live in?!

Does OP live in a greenhouse? A house with no doors and windows on one side?

pizzaandchips123 · 12/07/2025 19:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WolfFoxHare · 12/07/2025 19:04

A pool on your own property is completely different. For one thing, it’s unlikely you’d ever get into trouble in a pool, assuming you are reasonably competent swimmers - it’s not like the sea or even a lagoon or lake ffs. For another, you’d be right there in your garden if one of them woke up and called for you, or if there was a fire (or an intruder). I’ve read some bloody stupid things on MN but this is certainly up there in the top ten.

Whaleandsnail6 · 12/07/2025 19:04

You keep saying "we" so why are you even asking?

Surely the obvious solution to not contemplating leaving preschoolers home alone is to swim separately?

MsTamborineMan · 12/07/2025 19:03

You havent clarified if there's 2 adults?

I don't see why you would take the risk with 2 of you, when one could just sit by the back door while the other goes swimming. If your house is so close to the sea, and so visible you could probably still chat anyway

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 12/07/2025 19:02

Read the hand the first held mine. That’ll stop you in your tracks for even thinking about it.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 12/07/2025 19:02

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 19:00

Oh right, my mistake. I didn't realise Madeleine's parents had all the doors in windows of the house in view at all times. I thought they were out of sight.

What kind of weird-ass house do you live in?!

Dawnb19 · 12/07/2025 19:02

I would see this as neglect and if someone did this they need reporting. Even today I sat outside with a coffee and had my son on the baby camera while he was having a nap. I wouldn't think of going nextdoor or over the road. I don't agree leaving kids unattended.

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 19:02

AutumnFog · 12/07/2025 19:00

How can you have the front and back of the house in sight?

Because they are both on the same side of the house. There are no windows on the back of the house either.

OP posts:
Annascaul · 12/07/2025 19:02

If your friend would come in if she didn't hear from you in 30 minutes, why not just get her to sit with them? 🤯

user2848502016 · 12/07/2025 19:01

I wouldn’t sorry, too risky. What if something happened to you? What if one of the kids woke up and wondered out to try and find you?
You’ll have to take turns until they are older

Thatslife234 · 12/07/2025 19:01

bellamorgan · 12/07/2025 18:57

I’d go in my own pool in my own residence yes. Because toddlers could come bounding down the stairs to me. Or a baby monitor close enough to listen in. Sadly now my children are older they hear us in the pool and come down and jump in too 🤣

I wouldnt even do it in the pool in my garden (not that I have one). What if one child got out of bed and fell or something.

MsTamborineMan · 12/07/2025 19:01

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 18:55

Ah yeah okay. I should have predicted that people would think of sea related dangers 🙈 I can't say more without being too outing but it actually is like a swimming pool really. No sharks, no currents, no boats, etc. Think lagoon!

I take the point that you all think this is dangerous.
But just out of interest, would you do the swimming pool in the garden? Or is that too wild as well?

Is it the sea or is it a lagoon? Lagoons/lakes can also be pretty dangerous

Ultimately its not a swimming pool in your back garden. A swimming pool in your back garden your likely to hear if your DC if they call out. Your dc will also probably hear you if they wake and can't find you. They aren't going to panic and go wandering. You will also hear if say an intruder enters your house, or the fire alarm goes off. A swimming pool is really easy to jump out of

AutumnFog · 12/07/2025 19:00

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 19:00

Oh right, my mistake. I didn't realise Madeleine's parents had all the doors in windows of the house in view at all times. I thought they were out of sight.

How can you have the front and back of the house in sight?

DiscoNights · 12/07/2025 19:00

Personally I think it’s ok if it really is that close to the house and if the house is properly locked. But I’m sure I’m the only one who thinks it’s ok.

Early3Rise · 12/07/2025 19:00

Preschoolers? Quite obviously not. They need one person in the home.

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 19:00

cranberryshortcake · 12/07/2025 18:58

I’m assuming you’ve heard of Madeleine?

Oh right, my mistake. I didn't realise Madeleine's parents had all the doors in windows of the house in view at all times. I thought they were out of sight.

OP posts: