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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go swimming in the sea whilst the kids are in bed?

462 replies

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 18:44

We live by the sea. It is fifteen metres through the garden from the door to the edge of the water. It is a safe place to swim and we are good swimmers.

Are we unreasonable to go for a fifteen minute swim once the kids (preschool) are asleep? They never wake. We would have a friend lined up who would come and babysit if they don't hear from us after half an hour (in case of shark attack or other unforeseen event)!

Basically the only risk is a house fire. We would not have any appliances running and the house would never be more than 30 metres away and in full view. Window open so we'd hear smoke alarm.

I feel like this should be acceptable as it's basically like having a swimming pool in your garden. But for some reason I feel it isn't okay, but I don't know why!

What would you do?

YABU you should be locked up for even thinking of it.
YANBU it's just like a swimming pool, it's fine.

OP posts:
whitewineandsun · 12/07/2025 20:33

Are you actually serious? Take turns.

Frenzi · 12/07/2025 20:32

Theoretically I live next door to a pub. Its front door and my front door are less than 15m away. It is appropriate to leave my primary school children alone at home whilst I nip next door for a few drinks.

Probably safer than going for a swim in the sea but I doubt people would find it acceptable.

Get a babysitter or don't go at all!

CoughCoughLaugh · 12/07/2025 20:32

@Maezzle
It was supposed to be a romantic swim, yes, hence the not going separately. We used to swim every few days pre kids, but haven't been able to for four years now. I miss it. But never mind.

Ah, so what you really meant to ask was "Can I leave my small children alone so I can go and have sex in the sea."

The answer was no, and now it's definitely no!

Mildorado · 12/07/2025 20:32

OutingHobbyWife · 12/07/2025 20:29

In am earlier post you said you had a babysitter lined up in the event of emergency - can't you just ask them to babysit anyway?!

Show quote history

The babysitter is a dolphin.

Isittimeformynapyet · 12/07/2025 20:30

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 20:19

Haha if it helps, they woke A LOT until they were a year or so old. I have earned my good sleepers!

Thank you all the people who engaged and helped me think through the differences between being in the shed/the swimming pool/the impossible lagoon. It was really helpful.

It was supposed to be a romantic swim, yes, hence the not going separately. We used to swim every few days pre kids, but haven't been able to for four years now. I miss it. But never mind.

Show quote history

Yeah, but you thought about it OP, so you might as well take yourself straight off to prison now.

Babyboomtastic · 12/07/2025 20:30

Romantic swim eh? 😉

Are you swimming along together watching dolphins (and your weirdly 2d house), or having a cheeky sea shag? 😂

Wilfrida1 · 12/07/2025 20:30

Two words.

Madeleine McCann.

OutingHobbyWife · 12/07/2025 20:29

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 20:19

Haha if it helps, they woke A LOT until they were a year or so old. I have earned my good sleepers!

Thank you all the people who engaged and helped me think through the differences between being in the shed/the swimming pool/the impossible lagoon. It was really helpful.

It was supposed to be a romantic swim, yes, hence the not going separately. We used to swim every few days pre kids, but haven't been able to for four years now. I miss it. But never mind.

Show quote history

In am earlier post you said you had a babysitter lined up in the event of emergency - can't you just ask them to babysit anyway?!

Topsyturvy78 · 12/07/2025 20:29

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 19:02

Because they are both on the same side of the house. There are no windows on the back of the house either.

Show quote history

I've never known a house like that. But if that's the case you take it in turns to swim in the sea while the other watches from the garden with the monitor.

MsTamborineMan · 12/07/2025 20:29

If you want a romantic swim just get someone to babysit, or if you've got helpful grandparents see if they will have your Dc for a night

It was hardly going to be a deeply romantic swim for 15 minutes, with one of you constantly on the lookout towards the house.

OiFatArse · 12/07/2025 20:29

Oh this is the thread I needed to read after a long hot 12 hour shift 😂🥵 thank you all it really has cheered me up 😂 Sorry nothing useful to add unfortunately I don't have a lagoon to go for romantic swims in

Mumto42005 · 12/07/2025 20:28

This cannot be a real post surely. No one would be insane enough to think this is a good idea with preschool age children. If this is real, you need professional help.

Mildorado · 12/07/2025 20:28

We need a diagram.

Babyboomtastic · 12/07/2025 20:28

Mildorado · 12/07/2025 20:20

She has a front child and a back child. It's kinder than "favourite" and "not favourite"

Show quote history

I'm almost wetting myself so how incomprehensible this was

"Is it that you don't come when they call" is what it was supposed to say.

In order the front and back child idea. The one that care about is the child with the window they can see. Who cares about poor front child 😂

ladygindiva · 12/07/2025 20:27

CheeseWisely · 12/07/2025 18:46

You can take it turns surely, one of you stay in the garden and the other swim then swap?

Yes this. FFS.

Tartantotty · 12/07/2025 20:26

Have you never heard of Madeleine McCann?

This post is crazy, what kind of parents are you? Stupid or selfish? Possibly both

Isittimeformynapyet · 12/07/2025 20:25

Topsyturvy78 · 12/07/2025 20:19

Hmm didn't Madeline McCann parents say it was like sitting in your back garden? Just go 1 at a time if you really want to. Oh and wear a life jacket FFS. Beach life guards will tell you not to go swimming without a life jacket. The sea is unpredictable. Even the best of swimmers can get out of their depth.

What!! A life jacket?

No, beach life guards will NOT tell OP that.

TheDowagerLadyUrsula · 12/07/2025 20:25

A romantic swim where you both have your eyes permanently fixed on the doors and windows of your house doesn’t sound terribly romantic tbh.

If you have a good enough friend to call in case of shark attack then you have a good enough friend to ask to babysit for a couple of hours, surely.

Bobnobob · 12/07/2025 20:24

I would always want to be in earshot.

It’s not really just house fires you have to worry about. The kids could be ill. Once my child had croup at 2 years old. Went to bed absolutely fine and then woke up with her airways constricting.. I heard the deep raspy breaths and was able to phone 999 and then get her calm and sitting up and breathing a bit better. They gave her medicine and she was fine but even 5 or 10 minutes of her lying there struggling to take a breath, panicking and wondering why her mummy isn’t coming… I can’t bare to think about it.

OutandAboutMum1821 · 12/07/2025 20:23

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 18:44

We live by the sea. It is fifteen metres through the garden from the door to the edge of the water. It is a safe place to swim and we are good swimmers.

Are we unreasonable to go for a fifteen minute swim once the kids (preschool) are asleep? They never wake. We would have a friend lined up who would come and babysit if they don't hear from us after half an hour (in case of shark attack or other unforeseen event)!

Basically the only risk is a house fire. We would not have any appliances running and the house would never be more than 30 metres away and in full view. Window open so we'd hear smoke alarm.

I feel like this should be acceptable as it's basically like having a swimming pool in your garden. But for some reason I feel it isn't okay, but I don't know why!

What would you do?

YABU you should be locked up for even thinking of it.
YANBU it's just like a swimming pool, it's fine.

YABU. I personally wouldn’t take the risk. One of your little ones could wake up vomiting or fall down the stairs or something and you’d be none the wiser. Children are so precious and irreplaceable, it’s not worth it.

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 12/07/2025 20:23

Why can't you just get your friend to come and sit with the kids?

user1476613140 · 12/07/2025 20:22

Just take turns. If you need to query it, you know deep down this is not wise....

hardliquormixedwithabitofintellect · 12/07/2025 20:21

Why don’t you just get a babysitter in and go safely?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 12/07/2025 20:21

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 20:19

Haha if it helps, they woke A LOT until they were a year or so old. I have earned my good sleepers!

Thank you all the people who engaged and helped me think through the differences between being in the shed/the swimming pool/the impossible lagoon. It was really helpful.

It was supposed to be a romantic swim, yes, hence the not going separately. We used to swim every few days pre kids, but haven't been able to for four years now. I miss it. But never mind.

Show quote history

Just get a babysitter like everyone else and enjoy your very close by, oddly shallow ‘think lagoon not the sea’

Mildorado · 12/07/2025 20:21

Maezzle · 12/07/2025 20:19

Haha if it helps, they woke A LOT until they were a year or so old. I have earned my good sleepers!

Thank you all the people who engaged and helped me think through the differences between being in the shed/the swimming pool/the impossible lagoon. It was really helpful.

It was supposed to be a romantic swim, yes, hence the not going separately. We used to swim every few days pre kids, but haven't been able to for four years now. I miss it. But never mind.

Show quote history

Get out the paddling pool and sit in it, holding hands. Romantic! 😻

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