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AIBU?

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Original poster

To propose that MNHQ set threads to self-destruct if OP does not return within 3 pages?

33 replies

FireAway · 12/07/2025 17:23

Light hearted (I think).

3 pages or time limit? Exceptions for sensitive boards (mental health etc)

All others, no reply after the OP - pooofff

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Laiste · 12/07/2025 19:12

FireAway · 12/07/2025 18:15

Yeah, I’m not really thinking off relationship, advice type ones. More “what do you think of this very controversial political issue” or “I think all x are y. Do you agree?” type threads.

I just think it’s good manners 😊

Show quote history

i do agree it would be nice if more posters came back and at least acknowledged the longer answers !

But to delete would remove this good advice for future readers.

Original poster
FireAway · 12/07/2025 18:31

JLou08 · 12/07/2025 18:23

YABU. Most people have a life outside MN and aren't sat around checking the notifications all day.

People shouldn’t start controversial threads though if they are too busy to join in

OP posts:
Original poster
FireAway · 12/07/2025 18:29

NormalAuntFanny · 12/07/2025 18:21

Wouldn't it be easier/more useful to have the option to not see/hide OP poppers from your active convos?

Make it a personal choice which given the recent ploppage on the feminism boards I'd do it.

I’d like to see threads with only one post from OP highlighted in a different colour 🤔

OP posts:
JLou08 · 12/07/2025 18:23

YABU. Most people have a life outside MN and aren't sat around checking the notifications all day.

NormalAuntFanny · 12/07/2025 18:21

Wouldn't it be easier/more useful to have the option to not see/hide OP poppers from your active convos?

Make it a personal choice which given the recent ploppage on the feminism boards I'd do it.

Thatslife234 · 12/07/2025 18:20

DoYouReally · 12/07/2025 17:53

I don't think anyone is owed a response.

Yeah I agree. Some sound like they are far too invested. Some comments are deliberately goady and then multiple posters just join in! I think the same type of comments on threads should be filtered out. We don't need the same thing pointing out by 20 people.

Original poster
FireAway · 12/07/2025 18:16

ErrolTheDragon · 12/07/2025 18:09

That, and reporting the OP if they seem to you to be a goady ‘plopper’ rather than a genuine poster,

Show quote history

Indeed

OP posts:
Original poster
FireAway · 12/07/2025 18:15

Laiste · 12/07/2025 18:04

Plus it's not all about the update.

Lifes not a soap opera

Yeah, I’m not really thinking off relationship, advice type ones. More “what do you think of this very controversial political issue” or “I think all x are y. Do you agree?” type threads.

I just think it’s good manners 😊

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 12/07/2025 18:09

FireAway · 12/07/2025 18:03

I know this is the sensible approach 😊

Show quote history

That, and reporting the OP if they seem to you to be a goady ‘plopper’ rather than a genuine poster,

Laiste · 12/07/2025 18:04

Plus it's not all about the update.

Lifes not a soap opera

Original poster
FireAway · 12/07/2025 18:03

Dontcallmescarface · 12/07/2025 18:01

Maybe after 10 pages click the "see all" on the OP and if there are no follow up posts, just scroll past the thread. If there's no traction then threads tend to "die" anyway.

I know this is the sensible approach 😊

OP posts:
Laiste · 12/07/2025 18:03

InMyOpenOnion · 12/07/2025 17:28

Nah, I don't think it matters a lot of the time. I have been on threads with great advice or entertainment value without the OP coming back. There might be some that could really use some more detail from the OP, and I agree that's frustrating. Not sure what the rule would be for determining that though.

this

so many useful threads on mumsnet pop up on google searches ect

if they were all deleted just because an OP didn't reply for x amount of time it'd be a great loss

Dontcallmescarface · 12/07/2025 18:01

Maybe after 10 pages click the "see all" on the OP and if there are no follow up posts, just scroll past the thread. If there's no traction then threads tend to "die" anyway.

Original poster
FireAway · 12/07/2025 18:00

mathanxiety · 12/07/2025 17:49

Sometimes threads fill up quickly and sometimes OPs have their actual lives to deal with. Some people post with very difficult situations to deal with, asking for advice or help or support.

It's not done for your entertainment.

If you're bored, there are literally thousands of other threads you can go to to get your jellies.

YABVU

You are taking my tongue in cheek suggestion very seriously

OP posts:
Echobelly · 12/07/2025 18:00

Yeah, I think 3 pages is a bit too soon, as sometimes there's something others want to hear about at it gets really full but OP may be busy or still not have an update.

Original poster
FireAway · 12/07/2025 17:59

BangersAndGnash · 12/07/2025 17:40

Please do not do this for Relationship threads, or others where people have many reasons that it may be hard to return on cue. Health, Bereavement, threads where women are trying to leave abusive partners.

Their posts are not there for our entertainment. Not a soap opera.

I agree, not mental health, relationships, bereavement etc

btw I’m not really expecting MNHQ to pick up my brilliant suggestion, just wanted a moan

OP posts:
Original poster
FireAway · 12/07/2025 17:56

InMyOpenOnion · 12/07/2025 17:37

Ooh just had a thought. Any that end with the word "Discuss" should be instantly zapped 😁. They're often the goady ones.

Show quote history

Agree - instant deletion

OP posts:
Aspanielstolemysanity · 12/07/2025 17:54

Time limit definitely, but not number of pages.

I've sometimes posted then got on with work or something and not got back to the thread for hours. There might be two posts on it or there might be manage pages by then

But I do wish people would use their brains a bit
And see when op last responded /check for any updates before just posting countless similar responses

DoYouReally · 12/07/2025 17:53

I don't think anyone is owed a response.

TrickorTreacle · 12/07/2025 17:53

I half-and-half agree @FireAway as some OPs just post-and-run.

Make it so the thread provisionally locks itself instead of being deleted outright, and set the time limit to 1 week or 1 month. Then the thread locks itself, and the OP is notified by email by MNHQ with a link to unlock the thread if the OP wants to return. Otherwise, no return, and it stays locked then it shouldn't be a wind-up as much as before.

Silvertulips · 12/07/2025 17:51

i usually check. 1 post and 10 pages, not worth adding to.

mathanxiety · 12/07/2025 17:49

Sometimes threads fill up quickly and sometimes OPs have their actual lives to deal with. Some people post with very difficult situations to deal with, asking for advice or help or support.

It's not done for your entertainment.

If you're bored, there are literally thousands of other threads you can go to to get your jellies.

YABVU

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 12/07/2025 17:42

MN does email people who start threads around 24 hours later suggesting you could go back and update your thread. I think it only happens if the thread has fizzled out and you as the OP have contributed very little. I suppose some people turn those notifications off or don't check that email address.

Mostly, though, my impression is that people who don't go back and update are the ones who see their thread not going the way they hoped, or what we call on FWR 'ploppers', i.e. the ones who say something goady and then retreat back to Reddit or wherever they've come from armed with the screenshots of other people's replies which are all they really wanted from the thread.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 12/07/2025 17:40

I think it's fair in cases where posts are asking for advice. If it's just a generalised 'music in the garden' type post, where basically it's everyone piling in to exchange experiences, then the OP shouldn't need to sit on the board. But when someone is asking for specific advice on a specific subject, then coming in every so often to comment is only good manners.

Buggered if I know how you'd do it though, because there are different time zones; people having to go to work; people going to bed...might be a bit hard to actually DO it.

BangersAndGnash · 12/07/2025 17:40

Please do not do this for Relationship threads, or others where people have many reasons that it may be hard to return on cue. Health, Bereavement, threads where women are trying to leave abusive partners.

Their posts are not there for our entertainment. Not a soap opera.