AIBU to feel (a little bit) hacked off by being accused of mollycoddling my child!

Just read this. Puts a whole different perspective on things, yes of course you would go and get him it's a totally different scenario to the one you first described. I'd still be apologising to the parents though.

This I always had a cut off time when I hosted sleepovers for the kids to call parents to go home. After that though, they waited until morning.

Would your friend have stayed somewhere when she wasn’t comfortable (no matter the reason)??

I would have done what you did - I’ve picked my DC up from sleepovers at all times of the day and night and would do it again. They trust you implicitly and you’re their safe space, you did the right thing and your friend is a pain, is wrong and should keep her opinions to herself.

I agree with all of this. I feel you should have tried to talk him down, reassured him and said you would be there early in the morning. You didn't even know whether he was upset, he could have just not liked the firmness of his pillow. As it was, he was a bit hungry and a bit homesick.

If my daughter had rung me in floods of tears, yes, I would have gone and got her, but to wake the other parents up at midnight to leave a sleepover (poor lad who's sleepover it was) it seems excessive and a little embarrassing. I'd be apologising to them in spades.

Well that is a bit of a drip feed tbh.

Recently bereaved child - yes would pander considerably (and friend is being a bitch).

Ordinary child - no that sort of thing is weird.

I've just seen your post OP - being recently widowed and getting your son and erring on side of "let him come home" makes perfect sense to me

I believe OP said it was a text not a call.

@Fragmentedbrainand likewise, why not pick up if you can. We’ve got indifferent opinions, that’s fine but using the word “mummy” to belittle the kid is unnecessary

If it had been my 12 year old I'd have been more worried about how bad mannered my child seemed - not eating the food, refusing to stay because his friend had gone home. But I'd have got him too - because I'd have been worried those might not be the real reasons and he was feeling weirded out about something. I'd have been irritated but gone & got him. If my friend spoke to me at length like that about my parenting I'd avoid her. She could be right or wrong - but if I wanted a passive aggressive lecture about my shortcomings I'd call my own mother.

You did absolutely the right thing. Your child wanted to come home- to their own home where they feel safe, loved and comfortable. Your friend needs to keep her sticky beak out of it. What decent parent wouldn’t go to their child if they called in the middle of the night?

Definitely mollycoddling. Picking up from an activity he wanted to do and then make him a sandwich 😂😂 at twelve?! Resilience is taught. He sounds very babyish to have been upset by one friend going home early. Homesick when he is away a few streets and a few hours. Don’t you want to teach him to enjoy himself and have fun instead of being tethered to the homebase at the tiniest whiff of freedom?

Why not teach kids to sit with mild discomfort and learn to cope with it instead? All the opportunities this kid will miss out on in life because mummy has taught him "I don't like it" is a reason to run away.

Team Friend here. Resilience is taught.

God forbid we want to make sure our kids are happy and comfortable. Some mental replies on here

I don’t think you were unreasonable, @WhiteWidowWithAttitude. Like you, we have always wanted our children to know that they can ring me or dh, if they need help. Frankly, I’d rather risk a few unnecessary trips than risk them being in a properly bad situation and feeling they couldn’t call us.

I might have said “Can you give it another half an hour or hour and see if you get to sleep/feel better, and if you aren’t, I’ll come and get you” - but that might have meant you being woken up again, even later, so I can understand why you didn’t do that.

I probably would've picked him up to be fair.

But I'd be fucked if I'd be making him a sandwich.

He's 12, he should've made it himself and told you to go back to bed.

I would have gone without hesitation OP, who cares what your friend thinks he isn’t her DC so her opinion is entirely irrelevant.

I probably wouldn't have collected either (unless unwell or full on distressed) but that's no bearing on what you feel is right for your family dynamic.

Your friend was rude and overstepped. It's none of her business what YOU decide is the right thing for YOUR child. It did not affect her one jot.

Age 12 - no I wouldn’t pick up unless illness and I don’t think my kids would have asked at that age anyway especially so late.
I believe you are molly coddling your child and it’s not good for them, hope their friends don’t laugh at your child.
However, your friend should have kept quiet/been more tactful when giving her opinion.

What would you have done if you had been away overnight with your friends and not 5 minutes away? What would you have done if you'd had too much to drink and couldn't have collected him? In this situation, yes, you were able to collect him, but there might be a time he's on a sleepover and you can't. I wouldn't have just collected, no questions asked. I'd have wanted to know why he wanted collecting, especially at midnight.

I would have done the same and have done for a teen of mine before!

I would think exactly what your friend said but I wouldn't say it. I suspect you were also driving over the limit ("one glass" hm) and she probably knew that.

Overall I think this sort of thing is why kids are growing up with terrible emotional coping skills and it does them no favours in the long run (homesick staying a few minutes away?!).