Should we get SD one aswell?

That sounds like a lovely idea. Do it for her next birthday but avoid doing it at the time the new baby is born imo.

I'd consider it as your relationship gets more serious.

It all feels weirdly territorial in your family though. I can see them being upset if they ever see her wearing it. How would you respond to that @Aygbskxkdnd?

Yes, get her a bracelet, why wouldn’t you?

No need to involve your family or make a big deal about it to them, just do it from you and her dad.

If I was part of your wider family, and saw you including your sd in this tradition, @Aygbskxkdnd, I would think that it was very nice of you. It seems like a really positive and kind thing for you to do.

Maybe your dh’s family would get involved in buying her charms for her bracelet?

Yes buy her one, it's a lovely gesture and why would anyone want her to feel left out. She is part of the family and it seems important to her. It's a bit upsetting that your family might begrudge her this, she's a 10 year old child. I'd let them know you were doing it (no reason for them to be involved) and if they responded negativity I'd tell them they were mean minded, because lets face it, they would be.

Definitely buy her one

You buying your SD a charm bracelet has nothing to do with your wider family, you do you.

Get her dad to take her to Pandora and buy her a starter bracelet and a couple of charms. You/ he can then ask her at Christmas/ birthdays if she would like more. Her other relations can buy her charms too. It’s not too hard a problem to solve.

Don’t make it that YOU are buying the bracelet to fit in with YOUR family tradition, just say “Oh that’s lovely, “ when you first see it.

I'd do it in a heartbeat. If your family object (and why should they?) I'd put them back in their box. Even if you aren't together for always, it will be a lovely memory for her that you think of her as your daughter. I think (hope) your partner will love that you have done it too. Just one thought......the boys.....will they understand that its a girls of the family tradition and will they be hurt by their sister being given something special when they are not?

I think it would be an absolutely lovely thing to do.

I think it would be a nice thing to do. We also have the same tradition in my family - my mums charm bracelet is immense!
One thing I really dont understand is why your mum would be in anyway annoyed/offended or angry about it? That’s just bad behaviour on her part if she was.

You sound very thoughtful. And yes, I would get SD a bracelet. It's a lovely gesture. Frankly if it upsets your family, I'd say, too bad. Their desire to gatekeep a tradition matters less than a child's pleasure at being included.

I agree with lots of PP’s, buy a charm bracelet and give her charms for various milestones, going to secondary school, her birthdays etc. Then it isn’t exactly the same tradition as your side of the family have.

Just buy her a charm bracelet next Christmas or birthday and the you and DH can buy charms for it

It would be lovely to get her a bracelet too. What could the harm possibly be?
If a child's bracelet offends your mum, then let her be offending - ridiculous thing to be so controlling over.

You could buy SD a bracelet to start from the “year she joined your family”. So one bracelet and 2 charms (if you’ve been with your partner 3 years) rather than 10 charms to backdate it to her birth. Then one each year until 18 to follow the tradition.

Phrased like this makes it harder for your family to be difficult about it, as it starts from SD joining the family, just as the other girls joined the family from birth.

Are charms particularly expensive?

It does sound like your family, or maybe mostly your mum has a kind of weird possessive attitude around the tradition and maybe being brought up around this attitude has caused you to overthink the whole thing?

I'd just get SD a bracelet and a couple of charms for the next special occasion, it'll make her happy and feel like part of the family. I can't personally see a downside to it at all.

Are there any plans for you and DP to marry? If that's happening maybe getting the family on board with her joining the tradition would be easier? Also could be a nice bridesmaid gift to welcome her to the family if you were inclined to do so.

Sorry but you're mum has no right to be offended. With the popularity of Pandora and the like it would not be unusual for your SD to discover charm bracelets herself and ask for one. You have a lovely tradition but anyone can have a charm bracelet.

If she would like it do it. You and her dad can do it.

Yes, get her a charm bracelet. Start it with a charm for her next life event (birthday, going to senior school etc). Add one at Xmas etc. you don’t need to involve your side of the family. It would be a really nice gesture.

I think decide: is she your family or not? Then go from there - doesn't need to have a wider family input necessarily, but something you and partner provide.
It seems like a lovely tradition.

I think it would be lovely to get her a bracelet. You don’t have to make up the ten years worth of charms, just buy her one really lovely one and add to it in the coming years.

It's an annual charm. Hardly a big commitment and she'll probably get fed up after a few anyway. My

Just get her one. Seems mean to exclude a little girl for the sake of a bracelet. If it will upset your mum, don’t tell her. It’s none of her business anyway.

They are.
It’s a lively idea. Buy her a charm bracelet and perhaps 10 (cheapish!) charms.