Should we get SD one aswell?

I'll never understand in a million years why kindness and generosity to be fair and doing the right thing for step kids or partner's children is so difficult.

First post got it right. Make your own traditions and include your SD. She's been in your life for a few years, and buying her a bracelet would go a long way to make her feel included in the blended family you want to create with her father.

I think it's a nice idea. I'd get a bracelet with 1 or 2 charms for her next birthday and add to it occasionally and if SD's grandparents, Aunts, Uncles wish to add to it they can. However I wouldn't be scrambling to make up for where others lack to ensure she gets exactly the same as the other girls (I.e. I wouldn't be presenting her with a charm bracelet with 11 charms next birthday and buying her one every year until shes 18).

If millions of women around the world didn’t wear charm bracelets, then companies like Pandora would go out of business.

It's a popular item of jewellery, worn by sooo many people, how could anyone get offended by you buying one as a gift for a child?

You're massively over thinking this.

If it's fine with your dp I would buy her one. Your dm doesn't have to be involved. I have a step niece. She split her time between both of her real parents she has always been treated equally by our side of the family as though she were a blood relative. We could never have left her out x

Get the bracelet. Your mum is weird I wouldn't have a grandparent saying they were the only ones allowed to buy a certain gift.

You don’t need your families approval. I find it odd they would be offended if someone else bought a charm.
I think it’s a nice thing to do for your SD if you see her in your life forever.

SD is asking for a bracelet, not a kidney.

I cannot image an adult being pathetic enough to resent a child having a charm bracelet or sharing in a tradition. And if your family are going to be this precious then they need to give their collective heads a wobble.

Yes. Your mother sounds very difficult, controlling,and precious. Don't pander to it. I hope she realises that your brother's wife, and her family, have every right to buy charms for the new baby. Wouldn't it be great if they bought bigger and better and started a bracelet war, 😂 I'd buy SD a bracelet, and you and her Dad can contribute charms. His family/her mum's family might join in. Your family are a bit mean if they don't contribute - and more fool them, it's an easy present idea.

I think your mum would be unbelievably unreasonable to be offended if you did this.

Having a tradition like this for your own family is a very lovely thing.

Having a tradition that other families (or not 'fully' related family members) CAN'T do this thenselves is absolutely mental.

As PP have said, the very fact that plenty of jewellery retailers across the country sell charm bracelets must mean that plenty of people want to buy them. Did the person in your family who originally started the tradition have to specially commission an artisan jeweller to bring their unique idea to fruition; or did they find that there were already jewellers selling them?

It's like having a family tradition of, say, Wetherspoons Wednesday - and then getting angry or upset to discover that there are also other unrelated customers in there on the same day!

Just buy her a bracelet. There is no need for your family to be involved.

A charm bracket is a nice idea. Your family being so possessive over them (being offended if someone else buys a charm) is not.

I am old and had a charm bracelet when I was a child, and the charms are nothing like the things you can buy now. I have an assortment of charms many of which were bought whilst on holiday, so charms include a lobster pot and the acropolis!

I think it would be a lovely thing to do. It’s a shame your mum wouldn’t be happy about it.

You are hardly stealing your mums idea given how mainstream charm bracelets are and if she is offended because you tried to include your step daughter then it's all a bit pathetic. Given some of the blended family posts this is such a non issue as its so easy to resolve.

I'm sure there will be things your DD is jealous of with your step dd
You can't always make everything fair
And nor should you try to
Things like Christmas presents if they are together at Christmas they should open the same amount
When ever they are together try to treat the same .
Maybe only give your DD the charm when step dd is not there
But there is nothing stopping your boyfriend buying his daughter a bracelet and a charm each year if he chooses to.
But no I don't think you should ..
It's ok for your DD to have things that are special to her between your family and her .

You do realise don't you that charm bracelets are not exclusive to your family, go to pandora and get her a bracelet for her birthday for goodness sake !

We do similar in my family - my dd has a silver charm each birthday, something relevant to her interests in that year of her life. They don’t cost a lot.
Maybe buy SD a bracelet with a couple of charms and you can include your DD in choosing them, so it becomes part of your own family tradition.

this is just bonkers. Your family doesn't own the charm gifting tradition. You worry how your family would feel about it? Jesus 😵. It's a bloody bracelet. nothing else. I think you completely blew this out of proportion. And yes, get m SD one if you think it makes her happy. It's really not that difficult.

Absolutely get get a charm bracelet for her - it’s an easy gift to give her and you will have fun getting her charms over the years, while she will enjoy getting them.

However I wouldn’t stop at 18 - have you stopped adding charms to your bracelet even though you have the tradition for getting the 18 charms over the years from your mum? Most people who have and treasure their charm bracelet will actively seek to add new charms on to it as they have new like events to celebrate - so for example, did you/your mum add anything when you got married or had a child? A single charm that is particular for each year is a great reminder as you grow up but it’s also nice to get a few decorative ones or ones for special events.

also wondering about the boys as I can see that they wouldn’t want this - except maybe they would - you can now get very masculine ones, albeit most of the ones I’ve seen have been wristbands for men who like travelling so the charms tend to be ‘beads’ more than charms and have place names written on or maybe flags, so you could get something similar for the boys too.

i have boys and haven’t done the bracelet thing (no history of it in my family!) but I do buy them a Christmas decoration each year that seems apt - and at some point when they are ready and want them, they will have a starter set of Christmas tree decorations for their own tree! This is something that you could create as your own family tradition without your mum being involved if you worry about what she will think, and enjoy with SD and your DD as well as the boys going forward!

I would want sd to feel special too. What's the worse that could happen? If you split she has a bracelet it is no big deal.

Just do it between you and your partner. You are demonstrating she is part of the family but you don't need to involve your mum etc in buying it..a charm bracelet is a pretty normal gift for a child that age its not like you are passing family heirloom jewellery to her

I know you have a lovely family tradition but, honestly, charm bracelets are common and your partner's DD should have one if she wants one. It won't have the weight of tradition like your DD's but still be a nice keepsake. It seems an easy way to treat the girls as equal family members.

My family would feel very upset if my DD's paternal family tried to be involved in this e.g if they bought her a charm.

This part is weird

Is your mum going to demand all branches of Pandora be closed down forthwith, on the basis that females in your family like to have charm bracelets?

The 'tradition' of charm bracelets is hardly unusual or exclusive to your family. Anyone is at liberty to buy one for any reason at any time. So yes, get her a bracelet with a few charms she would like and be done with it! It has nothing to do with your mum.

This. So much drama.

My niece received one charm every year for over 12 years. A big deal from the givers. But she has never once worn that bracelet.