Should we get SD one aswell?

Given the price I think her dad should purchase a bracelet for her. Or if from you a more affordable one

Except it’s her mother, and her mother’s feelings are presumably worth considering if she values the relationship. There’s also her daughter to consider, who may also value the emotional element of the mother-daughter-grandmother tradition and not want her mother to include the SD as part of their tradition. If the SD’s parents want to do something that’s up to them, and I doubt OP’s family would have an issue with that.

@Aygbskxkdnd i know some PP have advised to just get a cheapish bracelet and throw in a few charms so no need to buy one every year. However, my take is that SD will likely be aware that DD gets a charm every year and so will be expecting the same. Or even if she doesn’t clock this and gets given a bracelet with lots of pretty charms but then as she’s older and I imagine will be close to your DD what if she finds that she has a beautiful real gold bracelet with charms totalling in the hundreds and hers is worth a fraction of that. It might have a negative impact on her relationship with you as she sees herself as valued less. This is where personally I feel her father and biological mother should step in and contribute the majority (if not all the cost of this). It’s not like it’s a waste either since as she gets older that could be a valuable fallback assets of hers as well as being something of sentiment to her.

It’s insane that this may bother the female members of your family.
YANBU to get her a charm bracelet and you should!

Sounds like she only wants it because your daughter has one!

I would buy her one with a couple of charms and see if she loves and wears it and then just you and your paenrer wns her mother can add to it at birthdays and Christmas.

Do not involve your family in it.

I agree, thought it was bizarre, the whole thing.

Charm bracelets are naff anyway. I had one when I was young and lost it.

And - getting a bracelet and then charms is what keeps Pandora in profit. It’s a huge money making machine. Unless your DM is crafting her own charms from teeth and hair it’s really not unique or unusual.

This is really common and although it is a ‘special’ thing your family do it’s really not unique. Both my DD and my niece love the annual pilgrimage to Pandora to get a charm. It’s also an easy gift so it’s great from that perspective. I agree with an earlier PP - you buy the bracelet between you, but her father takes the lead on buying the charm. That way, if you do split up she will have that continuity if she wants it.

Buy her a charm bracelet. And if your mum says or looks anything, you look absolutely horrified, and say mum, I’ve bought a young girl, my stepdaughter, a charm bracelet. She’s in my family and if it upsets you I’ve bought her a bracelet then that makes me like my bracelet and the whole tradition less, because apparently to make it mean something I have to tell a little girl she isn’t allowed the charm bracelet she’d absolutely love to have. Don’t spoil the whole thing with attitude please.

If anyone is being unreasonable here it would be your mother!
Who in their right mind would be concerned if your partner got your SD one? I really don’t understand your mother’s thinking on this. And how dare she get upset over a present your partner gets HIS daughter.
Absolutely ridiculous and if I was your SD parent I would get something bigger and better than a charm bracelet that they can’t wear because it’s so expensive.

Wow, your family seem a little weird tbh! Just because they started a tradition it’s weird to exclude the other part of the family from contributing to the bracelet! What the heck k does it matter who buys a charm for it. Get over your mother’s strange behaviour and of course include your sd. It’s a bracelet, not handing down the Crown Jewels!

Sorry OP but your family sound mental acting like a bracelet gives you a initiation into the Illuminati,your step daughter is a child buy her a reasonable priced bracelet thats special for her from you and her dad ,as for not letting you own little girls paternal family buy a charm for hers 🫣 jesus give your heads a wobble ,can you daughter not have a bracelet that has charms on it from everyone who loves her ? Why would your family be offended by that ? Toxic much

Yes it would be nice to get her one - with 11 charms for her next birthday perhaps?

i wouldn’t involve your DM, especially if you think she will be difficult about it.

Yes, I'd buy the bracelet. Id prioritize the feelings of the child who feels excluded over any adults who feel some sense of ownership over something as basic as a bracelet, any adult who would be upset over it would not be worth considering.

I see Princess Charlotte had a Pandora style bracelet on at Wimbledon , not to mention nails which I think she had done herself, or got a friend to do in a really garish pink! I was rather pleased to see that, it seemed a very 10 year old thing to do.

Yes defo but her a bracelet and 1 charm

Of course you should get your step daughter a charm bracelet and it’s not a big commitment adding a few charms over the years.
I can’t for the life of me understand how that could possibly offend your mother though?!

ASK her if she wants a bracelet.. i,m a girly girl but not at all interested in jewellry,got a £100 pandora voucher for my birthday which i,l never use, so check she really wants one first

Your mum seems terrible, not difficult.
Yes include your SD.

You are considering your mother's feelings too.

We do something very similar in our family. We get the boys a silver sixpence each year and a signet ring at 18. The girls get a bracelet and charms. I have done exactly the same for my dsd. I couldn’t live with treating her any different tbh.

To be honest with u i do same with my girls every brithday Christmas etc , we did buy hubbys daughter one from his first marriage not my step d , but its not to same .as shes like other things didn't appreciate it or look after it, as u know there not cheap sometimes and its only really like u a close family thing ,, can I state that hubbys daughter doesn't have anything do to with us by choice , so no its not the same sorry I wouldn't waste money and time

Does your mum build up the preciousness of this gift to your little girl as a display of affection? Most 9 year-olds are interested in ponies and unicorns, not a piece of grown up jewellery they're not able to wear. It sounds as though this is all about the adults, not the children.

I was bought a charm bracelet when I passed my 11 plus . I have probably 15 charms and all of them mean something special and illustrate a part of my life. I’m way past middle age now and I only wear it on special occasions but it is the most sentimental piece of jewellery that I own. My parents and grandparents ( all long deceased) bought some charms and every time I put it on I remember them. It is comfortably full now , I don’t want any more but my husband gets the sentiment and because my aunt gave me my grandmother’s engagement ring , he didn’t have to buy a ring so he bought me a charm for my bracelet of the 3 rings ( engagement, wedding and eternity) . My bracelet was way before Pandora popularity so is quite classic and maybe considered old fashioned but I absolutely love it.

Hmmm I’m actually not sure about this one. 18 years worth of solid gold charms plus bracelet is a huge amount of money for a little girl, plus the added emotional sentiment. In my family my Chinese grandparents have gifted my sister and I gold bullion and very expensive traditional gold and jade jewellery (not really for wearing) as this is a cultural and family tradition. My step sister got none of that she just got normal gifts, she isn't damaged as far as I know. I would buy her a pandora charm bracelet with a few different charms. Not so expensive and means she can wear it more often and take it back and forth between Mum and Dads house. It shows her that you value her and want to include her but doesn’t cost a bomb. What does her Dad say? He should be the one paying for this if you do decide to go ahead.