Wwyd

Do you know why neither your sister or brother in law are unemployed? One of them must surely have worked at some time. What sort of place do they live in with their big family?

SIL2 and her DH are a bit like this. Creative artists who've never had full time jobs, always skint, always with their hand out. MIL sweeps it under the carpet - SIL2 being so academically clever and talented and with such a social conscience, etc.

Her children are grown up now, one's a weed addicted gamer who works part-/time, one's started uni and a few jobs and has dropped out and is very dysfunctional, another has been a little more focused but on completion of an apprenticeship needs to find himself. None of the DC have partners or close friends. SIL is very socially awkward.

It is never acknowledged but now the dc are grown up it is blindingly obvious they and SIL 2 are neuro-diverse. I'm now pretty sure that with hindsight FIL would have been high functioning ASD. None of this is acknowledged.

Do you think there is more going on than appears on the surface @loveforautumn

The system is abused by a lot of people who fabricate or over-exaggerate physical or mental ailments in order to get it.

It depends on when the children were born. If they were born before the 2 child limit came in they would still receive UC for those children. I have a friend with 5 kids, all born before 2017, which she gets UC for.

A benefits bashing thread artfully disguised as a family dynamics thread. It was all going so well until the living on Universal Credit bit, swiftly followed by the six children and then the classic sitting on their arses ALL DAY trope. Bingo.

WWID? I would mind my own business and would help my parents out by paying my way. I would also be grateful that I had access to a nice holiday home. My sister’s behaviour has nothing to do with me.

Clear favouritism. I wouldn't go anymore.

I am with the op…everyone needs to work if they can.

I would definitely mention that it's unfair to your parents and maybe they could have a work with her.
If nothing is done then I wouldn't stress too much about it x

Your sister & her bf are professional grifters - if they are perfectly able to work benefits should be stopped, 6 kids ffs......it is too easy to live off the state. Your parents appear to condone this.

Unless the six kids are 2 sets of triplets, or 3 sets of twins, and assuming none of the children have disabilities, they'll get the same amount of UC as a couple with 2 children.

Have you asked your parents why your sister isn’t expected to pay? It could be that despite your sister’s laziness, your parents don’t want to see their grandchildren miss out on a holiday.

hey I have got 8!!! kids and we never go on holiday, send me some money please. (joking but you get my point)

I'd mind the six kids, living on benefits free holidays thing too. yes it makes me nasty but I would. I think I'd just back out of using the holiday home, as I believe you have said you will. You can't do anything about what your parents choose to do with their money but you can stop contributing and hopefully this will make you feel better.

Yanbu.
I wouldn't dream of using it again.
Your parents want to play favourites with your lazy sibling, so be it.
Do your own thing going forward.

they have six kids and live on benefits?????

Do your parents need your funds to contribute to keeping the property or are you just topping up eg the cleaner for the period you’re there? If the latter, enjoy the subsidised break - if the former, time for a discussion on how the property is kept longer term?

Bigger picture, I can only imagine how frustrating it must be to have a sibling like this but the long and short is your parents can gift whatever money they want. Are they aware of how this makes you feel?

With 6 children they won’t be doing nothing, that would be a full time job even if most were in school, daren’t think about the food prep, laundry, getting them ready for school, tidying the house etc. It’s not fair but you do earn more and the kids probably wouldn’t get a holiday if your sister had to pay so I would just suck it up and hope they all have a good time.

Maybe you will receive a larger chunk in your parents will?
Do you think your parents are doing this because it is for the children? Six children is a lot! But for your parents they might be great fun to have on holiday.
I do feel for you, it is awful to always be the paying daughter

Except you are now not using it just to spite yourself, how are you winning? It’s annoying but why do yourself out of cheap holidays just to… what exactly? Make a point to who? Your sister doesn’t care and gets what she wants anyway. Your parents loose out a little financially from you but that serves them right in a way. Only real looser though is you sitting at home annoyed about something you can’t change and loosing out on fun family time yourself just to make a point to people who won’t change.

You could ask your parents to get you go for free but you say you won’t accept it for free. It’s not yours to charge your sister or stop her going, so why not just get on with your life and enjoy your cheap holidays. Life is too short for all this.

How annoying! Surely they can’t afford flights in the first place? I can only imagine how frustrated you are. I would probably go elsewhere and encourage your parents to rent it out.

By lying.