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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the school were neglectful?

418 replies

frogshead · 12/07/2025 09:21

Dd (8) went on a school trip yesterday in a heat wave, 40 minutes each way walking to and from a museum.

I sent dd with 2 bottles of water and she didn’t drink either of them and a hat which she didn’t wear.
She arrived home with a headache and has had diarrhoea since.

I know this was partly down to her but she is juts a child and nobody encouraged her to wear her hat or drink anything all day.
I applied sun cream before she went so at least she had that.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 12/07/2025 13:04

cantkeepawayforever · 12/07/2025 12:36

Also, if OP had said to an adult at the beginning of the day ‘X is always reluctant to drink without being told individually - please could you check she is drinking? She has two water bottles in her bag’, then the adult would have kept a specific eye as this was a specific risk. Without such instructions, the general risk assessment of ‘remind children to drink frequently and check bottles before departure’ would be seen to be sufficient, age appropriate mitigation.

This reminds me of the time I explained a task in detail to a class. 29 pupils started working. When I asked the 30th why he hadn't begun he said I hadn't told him what to do. When I pointed out that 29 pupils had heard the instructions and begun work he very indignantly said "but you didn't tell me!"

Northerngirl821 · 12/07/2025 13:04

I assisted on a primary school trip recently in similar temperatures. We constantly reminded the kids throughout the day to drink and wear hats, we regularly offered to refill empty water bottles too. There are some kids who won’t do either regardless of how many times they’re told, or will put their hat on and then take it off the minute we look the other way.

Pebblypusscat · 12/07/2025 13:01

I disagree with a lot of other posters...that walk was far too much in the heat yesterday!

YourWildAmberSloth · 12/07/2025 12:56

In hot countries, life continues, children and adults walk in the heat. I am going to guess that they set out relatively early, not in the midday sun. Your daughter, aged 8, is old enough to follow your instructions which presumably were to wear the hat that you gave her and to drink the water that you gave her.

JudgeJ · 12/07/2025 12:50

TheWonderhorse · 12/07/2025 10:33

I haven't bashed any teachers.

I'm just saying that MN is almost never willing to accept that a teacher did something wrong. I think teachers generally are fantastic, but I am willing to accept they make mistakes at work, just like anyone else.

School do have duty of care and OPs child came home with heat exhaustion, she's right to question what happened.

Do the OP's supporters think that the teachers should hold down pupils who don't bother to drink of their own accord and force feed them with water, at the same time clamping a hand on the child's head to keep a hat in place? Cue the responses of 'abusive behaviour'!
I now this doesn't gel with modern thinking but I don't recall ever drinking lots of water as a child, '50s. There was , I think, a grotty water fountain, I dread to think about all the scabby mouths that used it!

TheMeasure · 12/07/2025 12:48

If your child is unable to drink water unless an adult prompts her specifically then I'm afraid it's on you as the parent to sort that out pronto. With our changing climate, this issue is only going to become more prevalent going forward.

Embarrassinglyuseless · 12/07/2025 12:43

Goodness me. A walk on a warm day… she will have learned a valuable lesson about looking after herself better in the heat!

this is the world we live in - it gets warm - children are better able than adults to cope with heat and it’s important they learn how to function in it rather than getting the message that they can cancel / opt out every time it’s a bit uncomfortable.

Isitreallysohard · 12/07/2025 12:41

Nix32 · 12/07/2025 09:23

She’s 8, not 2. Old enough to take responsibility for drinking on a hot day.

This. My 3 yo can do better

PolyVagalNerve · 12/07/2025 12:41

Kid feels ill after some time out in sun ….

so what ???

it’s like saying little Mary’s legs ached after running up the hill, and she was panting and her heart was going faster !!!

newsflash : it’s normal !!

kid - I feel hot / headache / upset tummy today, been out in sun, didn’t have a drink -

that’s normal dear, it will pass 😂

cantkeepawayforever · 12/07/2025 12:36

Also, if OP had said to an adult at the beginning of the day ‘X is always reluctant to drink without being told individually - please could you check she is drinking? She has two water bottles in her bag’, then the adult would have kept a specific eye as this was a specific risk. Without such instructions, the general risk assessment of ‘remind children to drink frequently and check bottles before departure’ would be seen to be sufficient, age appropriate mitigation.

TheLemonLemur · 12/07/2025 12:35

Well teachers can tell children to drink and wear a hat. Same way parents can. If you told her to make sure she drank and wore a hat and she didn't what makes you think she was taking any notice of what the teacher said?
This blame culture is absolutely ruining the next generation never need to think for themselves because when something goes wrong no need to reflect on what lesson could be learned it's who can we complain to or sue 🙄

Sera1989 · 12/07/2025 12:35

You don’t know for sure whether she was encouraged and just didn’t do it, or she wasn’t encouraged. Teachers can’t force her to drink water but surely she would’ve been thirsty? At 8 I would expect her to take some responsibility as it’s not reasonable for a teacher to check how much each individual child has drunk.
It’s important to stay out of the sun around midday but unfortunately we can’t cancel everything due to heatwaves as they are going to become more common

rainbowstardrops · 12/07/2025 12:35

cantkeepawayforever · 12/07/2025 12:32

The obvious conclusion of this is that schools will review their risk assessment and say ‘we can no longer rely on 8 year olds to follow clear and repeated safety instructions, so this trip is no longer safe.’

So no future years get trips.

I have done this - post Covid, reviewed a trip that the year group had always been on safely, no incidents, no accidents. Then reviewed the behaviour and maturity of the new year group and said ‘No matter what we do, we cannot reduce the risks to an acceptable level, because too many children will not follow necessary instructions (do not walk in the road / walk in a line rather than running off on your own / wait to cross the road / stay with your group / sit down to eat lunch / keep your coach seat belt fastened / wear appropriate clothing) and if we take enough experienced 1:1 adults, the rest of the school will be unsafe.’ That trip has never run again - it’s replaced by a PowerPoint of photos from previous trips.

This.

rainbowstardrops · 12/07/2025 12:34

Somethingsnapped · 12/07/2025 12:14

I do actually think it's worth bringing it up with the school. Not in a blamey way, but just to let them know. If parents don't tell the school, then the school won't have the full picture/knowledge about these kinds of activities in the heat and if any kids have been adversely affected, and thus won't be able to make proper informed decisions so easily in the future. You can tell them you're using it as a learning opportunity for your daughter, but feel they ought to know this happened.

While I agree with pp that an 8 year old should be taking some responsibility, the truth is, they are still very young and often do need extra input.

This happened to my 11 year old actually. Same... Nearly an hour of walking each way in the heat. She did drink and did wear a hat, but still had unpleasant heat effects, same as your daughter. I didn't mention it to the school (this happened last heatwave in over 30 degrees heat), but kind of wish I had told them, just so they know.

Oh ffs. You’d bring it up with the school? Where the staff work with children day in and day out and would welcome £1 every time they said, ‘Break time. Drink plenty of water, put your hats on and suncream if you’ve got it’.
They have also probably done the same trip year in and year out and completed risk assessments and know the pitfalls of hot weather!!!
You'd be the parent where the staff say’ ‘Mary’s mum came in reminding us to be mindful to make sure they’re aware they need to remind the children to drink. As if we’re new to this malarkey’.
Really? How about just educate your child so that they know these things any way.

cantkeepawayforever · 12/07/2025 12:32

The obvious conclusion of this is that schools will review their risk assessment and say ‘we can no longer rely on 8 year olds to follow clear and repeated safety instructions, so this trip is no longer safe.’

So no future years get trips.

I have done this - post Covid, reviewed a trip that the year group had always been on safely, no incidents, no accidents. Then reviewed the behaviour and maturity of the new year group and said ‘No matter what we do, we cannot reduce the risks to an acceptable level, because too many children will not follow necessary instructions (do not walk in the road / walk in a line rather than running off on your own / wait to cross the road / stay with your group / sit down to eat lunch / keep your coach seat belt fastened / wear appropriate clothing) and if we take enough experienced 1:1 adults, the rest of the school will be unsafe.’ That trip has never run again - it’s replaced by a PowerPoint of photos from previous trips.

Lavenderfarmcottage · 12/07/2025 12:30

I think it’s more of an issue revising their policy on outings during a heat wave and long walks in the heat of the day.

Cakeandusername · 12/07/2025 12:30

Could she have been given another drink?
Eg tells teacher I’ve not got my water bottle (not knowing mum put 2 disposable plastic bottles in) so teacher gave her a spare one.
I took a group to a museum for an afternoon activity and they kindly provided squash/water/snacks very unexpectedly. Some of kids with me that day would have gone home with undrunk water bottles as it was winter and we had as much to drink as we wanted at activity.
I can’t understand how she sat and ate her lunch and didn’t want a drink then especially on a hot day. All the other kids and adults would be eating and drinking.

ParmaVioletTea · 12/07/2025 12:27

Fair enough, @viques - my point really is best summed up:

"You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink."

The OP is doing the thing of expecting a teacher to parent her child better than she does.

MaxineHarper · 12/07/2025 12:24

Stop blaming the school and educate your child! Utterly ridiculous you’re blaming the school.

and yes you’re right it’s neglectful that’s you’ve not taught you’re daughter to drink when it’s a hot day. Have a word with yourself and step up and parent your child.

viques · 12/07/2025 12:22

ParmaVioletTea · 12/07/2025 12:09

How many teachers to how many children?

Was your DD thirsty and hot? Why didn't she work out for herself to drink water & wear her hat?

Did you put her hat on her head and remind her to sip water when you dropped her off? Does she usually disobey your common sense directions?

Why didn't you or your DD's other parent volunteer to help on the outing?

Do you know that the teacher didn't say to all the children "Hats on, sip water" ?

YABU - the school were not neglectful - your DD needs to develop some common sense. And you need to be clear with her - next time she's hot & thirsty, drink her water.

“Sipping” water is not the answer. Having a substantial drink before setting off is what works. You really don’t want a line of children walking along focussing more on sipping from their hand held water bottles rather than watching out for lampposts, dog shit, other pedestrians, street furniture, uneven pavements, adult scooter riders, people on mobility scooters or the child in front who has suddenly stopped to open their water bottle and sip.

And the person who suggests stopping half way for a drink has never tried to find a cool, shady and above all safe space to halt thirty children - away from the road, not blocking shop entrances or peoples drives. Not to mention that stopping for ten minutes is an additional ten minutes the children are out in the heat rather than being in the cool air con of the museum.

Also some children see any stop as a toilet break, but that’s another issue!

DiscoBob · 12/07/2025 12:20

It's ridiculous to say the teachers should have to prompt or even force children to drink on a hot day.

If she wasn't thirsty, which I find very hard to believe, or she was too busy doing other things then frankly that's her look out.

She'll know now the consequences of not drinking enough for next time.

If the kids all have drinks, the teachers have checked that. They'll have said keep hydrated at the beginning of the day anyway I'd imagine. Then the rest is down to the kids own common sense at that age.

Just from a comfort perspective how could someone deny themselves water for several hours when it's over 30 degrees?

TheMeasure · 12/07/2025 12:19

"If/might/perhaps."
Doesn't mean the teacher is at fault and warrants a complaint.

samarrange · 12/07/2025 12:18

I'm wondering whether DD might have been thinking that if she drank water she might need the loo, and perhaps she doesn't like using toilets outside of home/school?

TheMeasure · 12/07/2025 12:17

Bringing what up with the school?
The OP has no knowledge of what actually happened beyond her dd quite likely blame-shifting.

QueenOfHiraeth · 12/07/2025 12:17

I do wonder at which age parents now stop expecting their children to be babied.
I'm much older and a nana now but, back in the 90s, when my children were this age they didn't have water bottles all the time, we trusted them to get a drink when they were thirsty, and everybody survived!

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