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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the school were neglectful?

418 replies

frogshead · 12/07/2025 09:21

Dd (8) went on a school trip yesterday in a heat wave, 40 minutes each way walking to and from a museum.

I sent dd with 2 bottles of water and she didn’t drink either of them and a hat which she didn’t wear.
She arrived home with a headache and has had diarrhoea since.

I know this was partly down to her but she is juts a child and nobody encouraged her to wear her hat or drink anything all day.
I applied sun cream before she went so at least she had that.

OP posts:
elh1605 · 12/07/2025 19:04

As a TA I can guarantee you that the teachers/staff would of told them as they left school to put hats on heads and walked 20mins then stopped and told them to drink then at the museum encouraged them to drink more, the same at lunch and both things repeated on return walk.if a child didn't have a hat on, they would of been told to put it on and if didn't have one then one would of been found. She may be 8 but both their faults- your daughters fault for not doing it, but also staff should of been monitoring more closely

SeanMean · 12/07/2025 18:58

She is 8 and should know better.

Hopefully she has learnt her lesson.

Clafoutie · 12/07/2025 18:55

Clafoutie · 12/07/2025 18:54

Ugh,yes, that’s weird behaviour

Oops, posted on wrong thread!

Clafoutie · 12/07/2025 18:54

Ugh,yes, that’s weird behaviour

Hopoitygp · 12/07/2025 18:45

Jojimoji · 12/07/2025 12:09

" They should have stopped regularly and watched the children drinking"

One by one?
Checked that they actually swallowed?
Counted how many millilitres each child consumed?
Temperature tested their water?
Wiped their mouths dry afterwards?

Am I being facetious? Yes, but only partly, because all of that will come next if we are ever more accepting of the unprecedented learned helplessness we are seeing on a daily basis.

Edited

If you find it difficult to make sure 6-10 children are drinking their drinks then you should probably have a lie down.

Drowninginconfusion · 12/07/2025 18:28

TheMeasure · 12/07/2025 18:26

Was about to expend some energy responding to this but then decided I just can't be arsed.
I mean, really!! 😡😡

I would love to see this poster get 30 children to even stop and listen for more than 30 seconds haha.

TheMeasure · 12/07/2025 18:26

Starlight7080 · 12/07/2025 18:04

I have never understood why most schools do trips this time of year. Its always boiling. Why not do them in the cooler months.
I agree at 8 they should have some responsibility for drinking . But also at 8 the excitement may make some not be sensible in that respect.
Also really just needs common sense from teachers to stop all the kids for 2 mins and say right everyone have a few sips of water. And then repeat that during the day.
I think most teachers hate having to do the school trips and just try to get them over with as quick as possible

Was about to expend some energy responding to this but then decided I just can't be arsed.
I mean, really!! 😡😡

jasminocereusbritannicus · 12/07/2025 18:20

Are you absolutely sure no one said anything about having a drink? Ultimately, it’s more than our jobs are worth to not say anything in hot weather! At the end of the day, though, we can’t force anyone to drink

(…however, I spent all of Thursday outside, manning the throwing event on two of our 4 Key Stage sports days; not only did I get burnt on the back of my neck , ( even though I had cream on , but forgot to bring a hat) I barely had a moment to have a drink myself!!! Let’s just say I suffered the next day…)

The other thing is we’ve been telling children to take off their sweatshirts /cardigans in this weather but some seem hell-bent on keeping them on! In the winter when we ask them to put their coats on because it’s freezing, they want to be out in their polo shirts! We just cant win! It doesn’t matter how much we ask them to do something, there will always be those who insist on not doing it! And always those parents who think we are neglectful.

Drowninginconfusion · 12/07/2025 18:17

Funkytuna · 12/07/2025 17:18

Those saying she’s 8 years not 8 months…I think of it like this, what would the response be from school if the same scenario happened under the parents care? If the answer is safeguarding/social services then the school need to be held accountable the same as parents would be. It shouldn’t be one rule for one and one rule for the other when it comes to children’s welfare.

There are people that don’t feed their children breakfast before they come to school, they have no teeth because they don’t monitor or enforce brushing and send them without glasses that are prescribed and needed. Those adults still have those children in their care. This is something that teachers see every single day and not just one child in their class. Children are almost never removed from the care of their parents and being sunburnt or having sunstroke on the hottest day of the year would not even pique the interest of social services if it were referred to them by a teacher.

KickHimInTheCrotch · 12/07/2025 18:11

Our kids are going to have to get used to doing things in hot weather - these longer, hotter summers are only going to get worse. People all over the world have to cope with walking places in the heat, we need to prepare our children for this being a regular part of their lives.

ThejoyofNC · 12/07/2025 18:10

Cherrytree86 · 12/07/2025 18:09

She should have had someone next to her at all times prompting her to drink

Is this a joke? I'm asking that as a genuine question. Surely you don't actually think that's even remotely reasonable/possible?

Cherrytree86 · 12/07/2025 18:09

She should have had someone next to her at all times prompting her to drink

Conkersinautumn · 12/07/2025 18:07

I find it very unlikely that staff did not prompt hat wearing and drinking water. I'm in a secondary school and prompting children to take off jumpers, drink water, rest in the shade if they can at lunchtime etc is all very routine if the delivery more 'why haven't you done x y z' than remember ro do do x y z.

If its any consolation I remember a few post school headaches in primary school in the 70s and 80s because I couldn't be bothered to use the water fountain. And I did learn about hydrating the gard way than listening to adults. The lesson may well stick now.

Starlight7080 · 12/07/2025 18:04

I have never understood why most schools do trips this time of year. Its always boiling. Why not do them in the cooler months.
I agree at 8 they should have some responsibility for drinking . But also at 8 the excitement may make some not be sensible in that respect.
Also really just needs common sense from teachers to stop all the kids for 2 mins and say right everyone have a few sips of water. And then repeat that during the day.
I think most teachers hate having to do the school trips and just try to get them over with as quick as possible

KickHimInTheCrotch · 12/07/2025 18:02

During the last heatwave a few weeks ago I was a parent helper on a KS2 trip so ages 7-11. They left school at 10 to climb a nearby hill, arriving about 12.30 (so 2.5 hours on country lanes, mostly uphill) then after lunch and a play we walked back to school for 3pm. Lots of water and snack breaks in shady spots and hat wearing expected but we couldn't enforce individual children doing these things. Everyone healthy and well on our return to school. If individual parents felt their children needed specific support to drink water they should probably have volunteered to go instead of me or spoken to the class teacher in advance.

TwistedKeys · 12/07/2025 17:58

JockTamsonsBairns · 12/07/2025 09:51

This!
I'm on a UK break with 17yo DS. Yesterday was 31°. He was wearing jeans, a long sleeve t-shirt, and a hoodie.

I told him he wouldn't need that hoodie on - but, "just in case".

Just in case of what? A freak snowstorm?

Daft thing is, he'll happily head out in the winter without a warm coat on.

Feeling your pain! 18yo DC2 does not cope well in the heat Yesterday I told them it would be 31 degrees. They came down in a tight stretch velour playsuit. With tights.

Spies · 12/07/2025 17:53

Funkytuna · 12/07/2025 17:46

That last part was so dramatic 😂😂 good old Mumsnet. Regardless of if they were all reminded or not, ops child ended up with heatstroke, if it was a parent ‘but I reminded her!’ wouldn’t be good enough. So it shouldn’t be for a school either.

Well I mean you would truly have to dislike children intensely to apparently spend all day with an 8 year old knowing she hadn't drunk anything or worn a hat and not remind her to do so whilst watching her develop heatstroke which is what some posters yourself included believe happened...

Drowninginconfusion · 12/07/2025 17:48

Wakeywakey678 · 12/07/2025 10:42

Also this. Please respect the 48h rule if your child has had diarrhea!

Haha she’s definitely getting sent to school before the 48hrs is up isn’t she?

Funkytuna · 12/07/2025 17:46

Spies · 12/07/2025 17:39

Yes it's an assumption because that's literally what happens in every school on every trip up and down the country. I mean honestly do you really think she wasn't once reminded. Really?

It's also pretty unbelievable that just this one child is apparently suffering from heatstroke if they weren't all reminded...

It's staggering that so many people think teachers hate kids to the extent some on here seem to believe.

Edited

That last part was so dramatic 😂😂 good old Mumsnet. Regardless of if they were all reminded or not, ops child ended up with heatstroke, if it was a parent ‘but I reminded her!’ wouldn’t be good enough. So it shouldn’t be for a school either.

Spies · 12/07/2025 17:39

Funkytuna · 12/07/2025 17:36

That’s ironic that you are also assuming the child was reminded and refused don’t you think? That is an assumption. So no I’m not saying schools are reporting for children refusing to wear a hat and drink water but that they would if a child was suffering heatstroke due to not being properly cared for in the weather. Not hard to grasp.

Yes it's an assumption because that's literally what happens in every school on every trip up and down the country. I mean honestly do you really think she wasn't once reminded. Really?

It's also pretty unbelievable that just this one child is apparently suffering from heatstroke if they weren't all reminded...

It's staggering that so many people think teachers hate kids to the extent some on here seem to believe.

Funkytuna · 12/07/2025 17:36

Spies · 12/07/2025 17:31

That word assuming is doing a heck of a lot of heavy lifting... 🤔

Also schools are not reporting parents to social services for their child refusing to drink water and wear a hat ...

That’s ironic that you are also assuming the child was reminded and refused don’t you think? That is an assumption. So no I’m not saying schools are reporting for children refusing to wear a hat and drink water but that they would if a child was suffering heatstroke due to not being properly cared for in the weather. Not hard to grasp.

Welshmonster · 12/07/2025 17:34

Meanwhile, children in hot places are walking miles to collect fresh drinking water on a daily basis and carrying it back to their home.

I’ve been yelled at by parents for not letting their kid drink water as their water bottle was full at home time.

Turns out their kid has refilled it at least 4 times and again at home time but gets attention from parent who yell how rubbish teachers are. One raised eyebrow from and a question about the water bottle being full meant a full confession from said children as at the start I tell children they will get in more trouble for lying about something than whatever they did. Did the parent apologise? No of course not. Did parent tell child off for lying to them? No.

Next time, book time off from work and volunteer to help on the trip.

Spies · 12/07/2025 17:31

Funkytuna · 12/07/2025 17:27

Doesn’t say anywhere in the op the child was reminded and chose not to. Just that they didn’t drink anything or wear a hat. That’s all we know. So assuming child wasn’t reminded if child suffered heatstroke and the parent hadn’t prompted their child to have a drink all day in the blazing heat yes I can absolutely see school reporting that as safeguarding. They do for a hell of a lot less!

That word assuming is doing a heck of a lot of heavy lifting... 🤔

Also schools are not reporting parents to social services for their child refusing to drink water and wear a hat ...

Funkytuna · 12/07/2025 17:27

Spies · 12/07/2025 17:22

You think it would be a safeguarding/social services issue if a parent reminded their child to drink and wear a hat and they didn't... 🤨

Also it's not actually clear if she didn't wear a hat or drink her water so the whole bloody thing is completely pointless to discuss. The fact the OP hasn't returned suggests she was simply looking for yet another teacher pile on.

Doesn’t say anywhere in the op the child was reminded and chose not to. Just that they didn’t drink anything or wear a hat. That’s all we know. So assuming child wasn’t reminded if child suffered heatstroke and the parent hadn’t prompted their child to have a drink all day in the blazing heat yes I can absolutely see school reporting that as safeguarding. They do for a hell of a lot less!

Lavenderflower · 12/07/2025 17:23

Funkytuna · 12/07/2025 17:18

Those saying she’s 8 years not 8 months…I think of it like this, what would the response be from school if the same scenario happened under the parents care? If the answer is safeguarding/social services then the school need to be held accountable the same as parents would be. It shouldn’t be one rule for one and one rule for the other when it comes to children’s welfare.

Parents have the authority to enforce certain things. But potentially the same thing could have happened with the parent - what are you supposed to if your child doesn't want to have a drink? Are you going to force feed them.