To be annoyed at my friend ordering food for me?

Which is precisely what OP did.

Whose the "we"? I don't, but then I've bothered to read OP's posts. I've also read the poll result to date which is 89% think OP's right.

Well that’s sad, but irrelevant.

If you feel upset by posters having “trivial” issues, this is not the place to be.

Because she DID say something at the time and the other husband argued back, and she stuck to her guns??

And that's very sad and no doubt feels terribly unfair given her youth - I'm sorry.
So, now think, if you had posted on MN about something relatively trivial, by comparison, to the loss of your sister, how would you feel if someone posted "Sounds like you've not many real life problems if you really think this is an issue."
This sort of comment is unhelpful and unkind. None of knows each other and making snarky generalisations about the lives of people you don't know from Eve is pointless.

On my sisters hen do (at pizza express) i went to the toilet when they took dessert orders and my mum ordered me banoffee pie and I was really pissed off cos I didn't want that!

Yes, that would annoy me. I’d just insist on the starter I wanted though.

odd - especially the husband ordering when you didnt know them well.

A friend of 25 years - I wouldnt be that fussed, but can only imagine it happening if we were eating before going on to something - why not just order a sharing plate or their own starter if you're running late & they are hungry?

With one friend one of us will choose the wine if the other can't be contacted - generally if on the tube, but usually message on red or white.

But twice in 25 years - I doubt she remembers the first occasion - and if her partner has a habit of doing this on her behalf, less weird of her to do it for you.

The only vaguely acceptable reason for this man’s rudeness is if the bill is usually split equally and you have a history of ordering expensive dishes. How is the bill usually split OP ?

Your posts - yours and Omblomov’s - are the truly baffling ones, as I’m sure other posters will have explained by the time I press ‘post’ on this.

The lack of reading and contextual comprehension on the AIBU board is a wondrous social phenomenon.

Spot on. I find the sheer rudeness of ordering for someone else without their permission to do so astonishing.

Yeah, I think some posters have watched that ‘lamb cutlets, rare’, scene in Titanic too many times and thought (a) it was really reflective of practices of the time rather than showing the Cal character to be a controlling knobber, and (b) that it was set in the 1980s throughout. Baffling.

It really is this simple!

Agreed, it sounds so painful, I wonder why they even bother!

why be this aggressive? what a terrible way to start a communal meal. What's wrong with ' sorry I'm going to be 10 mins late. I will order when I get there'.

That was your sister, not your friend. My sister would order something she'd know I liked, my friends would probably order something they think I'd like.

Well hope you told her not tomorder for you in future.

Don't think you explained how the second situation was resolved??

Did she pay for the meal? Did you order your own food?

Exactly. Garlic bread does give you stinky breath . Maybe Op was fancying a shag later that day and didn’t want to breathe garlic breath all over her partner. Or maybe she doesn’t wanna double carb.

I had three people at that table expecting me just to give up ordering a starter, the husband and wife wanting their own way and my own husband not wanting me to create a scene, but I still did it.

So much weird about this
Also funny

oh to have been a fly on the wall when this little group get together!

When I was widowed in my 30's and now getting to 60 and losing more friends, my opinion has shifted to the opposite of yours. Have the food you want, go to the places you want to, because next year isn't guaranteed. Eating what you want to, does matter. I get the OP's starter situation, we have a local bistro who does amazing things with black pudding, or pork bites, or harissa chicken, I'll be dammed before I swap them for garlic bread.

What’s more baffling is how insistent the Op is that she’s not a doormat!

My friends and relations and colleagues would fall about laughing at the idea that anyone thinks I'm a doormat.

We think you are Op and we are objective and have no skin in the game!

Unless my phone is deceiving me, this is the AIBU board. It is renowned for trivial matters. Perhaps you weren’t aware of that though.

It’s also infamous for being simultaneously trivial and ‘robust’, ie quite fight-club in tone, so it might not be the place for everyone on any given day to hang out (so to speak).

Ah so you think this power play mentality or her has been latest for the last 25 years and this has been the first opportunity to reveal her true self?! 😆

@Shellyash

Very sorry for your loss, but it’s really not relevant to the OP. Not really sure why you’re taking the time to read and comment if you think it’s so trivial.