To be annoyed at my friend ordering food for me?

But don’t you see that it is relevant

shes been a close friend for 25 years
you have met you dozens upon dozens of time
And on the basis of two meals out… you think that it’s sign she’s engaging in a power play over you?

I don’t think this op is lying

but some are

and I’ve seen you always come down like a sack of brick on anyone questioning an op that to many of us is talking shit (not this one) and then pffft it goes.

But you suspect it might be your friend and not him! But it happened again recently so I'm not so sure.

"Always'? "very often?" (I've seen just two threads withdrawn by MNHQ due to the OP being previously banned, so this is just more ignorance and hyperbole from you.) I don't know why you're even on MN if you're so convinced posters are "always" (see what I did there?) lying. Oh, yes I do - because you could have an argument in an empty room. 🙄

You won’t be having a foursome again
or
you will manage to articulate your desire to order a starter of your choice?

But in the dozens of times you have met your friend for food…, she’s respectful, kind, enjoyable company…. No whiff that she’s on a latent power trip waiting for her one opportunity to order for you?

Of course YANBU OP.

It’s not up to others to spend your money to meet their own food preferences.

Ok the dozens of times you have socialised with these very close friend couple

happy, enjoyable, respectful? No whiff of issues?

You sounded very much like you did! Like it was any sort of reason because OP was 10 mins late, it was acceptable.

Clearly, this was not correct then?

Sorry op that some people are being jerks on here. I’m sure they’d be happy with someone else ordering food for them 🙄

stick to your guns. If you want a specific starter, then you have what you want. And if you’re ever late again, just say “Hi, running 10 mins late, be there asap. Please don’t order for me as I know what I’m having 😀”. And if the husband does order for you all again, just stop going for dinner.

She did

I particularly wanted a starter that's unique to that restaurant, and had been looking forward to it all day, and had to really stick to my guns as the husband tried to bully me into sharing the starter I didn't want.

With respect (very sorry about your sister) posters shouldn’t use their own personal tragedy to minimise other people’s threads. It’s like when someone says their mother has really upset them and a poster will say I’d do anything to have my mum back upsetting me. (I actually lost my own mum last year). I truly am sorry about your sister.

Like you say Op wasn’t late she was there when ordering so she should of opened her mouth and said what she wanted 🤷‍♀️

I did have a friend abroad who ordered for us, initially I was annoyed but she was right as she knew the food better.

Here though, I’d be furious. FIL/BIL on several occasions ordered me drinks that I don’t like. (Including alcohol when I wasn’t drinking), and then were annoyed when i went and ordered I wanted instead. It’s just rude.

No

Have you just made it up about OP being habitually late? It's the opposite. OP says that it was the first and only time she had ever been late. It was only 10 minutes anyway. No reasonable person would make a fuss about that.

Sometimes you get pressurised to order once you sit at a table, I know you can say I'm waiting for a friend but it can get awkward after 10 minutes. And if you order later the food arrives staggered. The first case maybe the guy was hungry and wanted to order something quickly and assumed he had ordered something most people would eat, no reason not to order something else as well when you arrived, were the starters all sharing size?

I think if you say oh, I really don't fancy that today, so Im going to just order for myself instead.
Don't pay for what you didn't order

Tbf @AngelicKaty you always think the Op is “right”, will never have a bad word said against them, and then very often the thread in question goes pfffft because turns out all made up shit!

The conversation must be so stilted
No one comes away feeling invigorated by an enjoyable couple of hours spent with friends I suspect

Right with you @Imdunfer I don't drive and I have mobility difficulties, plus a tendency to overestimate how long it'll take me to get anywhere. My horror of being late means I hardly ever leave the house without my Kindle or a book, because I know I'll have acres of time. But I won't make an issue out of someone else being ten minutes behind schedule, let alone stomp their boundaries the way your friend did. Her DH's behaviour was even more unacceptable, bearing in mind you were on time on that occasion. How well does he know you? I've known my DH for most of my adult life and if he took that high-handed attitude with me, I'd be down his throat like a Roman candle!

I'm very sorry for your loss. Maybe the best thing for you to do is to stay off social media platforms where people will post about situations and problems that you think are trivial and unimportant in light of your sister's untimely death. That is perfectly understandable.

What you can't and shouldn't do is try and police and control what other people find upsetting and annoying and reprimand them for posting for advice and support.