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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In laws, baby and illness

33 replies

Moncheri13 · 12/07/2025 08:59

Aibu?

Situation is me dh and 4 week old baby. Baby really not sleeping and also have a lively older child to look after.

Mil and Fil were coming over to see us, sil (dhs sister) decided to come too. All fine, it’s not the first time they’ve seen the baby. They visit every week and came twice during the first two weeks plus mil spent the whole day with us when baby was only a week old.

Dh was on the phone to fil regarding what time they were coming. I heard Fil say to dh “sil is coming too, and we are just trying to persuade bil to come too, but he’s got a stinking cold, so don’t know if he will, but we are trying to persuade him to come out for a bit”.

No regard for the baby, me or dh catching this ‘stinking cold’. Last thing we all need in our sleep deprived state.

I was fuming, I told dh to ring fil back and tell him not to bring bil over to when he’s unwell. But dh wouldn’t and just kept saying it’s unlikely bil will come.

Edited to add, it’s not the first time in laws have visited us when they’re sick. Mil came over once and informed us she’d thrown up this morning, but she felt fine now. Ah well that’s ok then 🙄

OP posts:
Endofyear · 12/07/2025 13:59

I would ring SIL and BIL myself and say please don't come here if you're ill - with a new baby in the house you'd think it would be a no brainer! But if it has to be said, I would definitely say it.

Needspaceforlego · 12/07/2025 09:41

I'd also cancel it's stupid of them to try to convince him to visit.

Eenameenadeeka · 12/07/2025 09:35

That's really inconsiderate, I'd cancel. Not worth the risk

crumblingschools · 12/07/2025 09:20

Quite possible SIL is harbouring stinking cold too

4naans · 12/07/2025 09:15

Why is your husband not bothered about this?
Of course he shouldn't come. Why are they trying to persuade him?

sammy7868 · 12/07/2025 09:06

I think your completely right to say not to come. My son ended up on a ventilator in February at 3 months old with Bronchiolitis.
Despite his history, my in laws visited last month with what they thought was “just a cold” (didn’t tell us) My son caught it and ended up in hospital again with Bronchiolitis, croup and flu! He wasn’t as poorly as February thank goodness but was in hospital for 3 nights. I was so annoyed 😒

Maray1967 · 12/07/2025 09:04

So ring SIL yourself and say that while you’d love to see them all you’re worried about catching BIL’s cold.

My BIL & SIL cancelled coming to us when dS2 was a few weeks old because DN had a cold. I didn’t need to ask them!

I can’t understand the stupidity of some people. Hopefully in your case it’s just your FIL who is stupid and BIL is sensible.

WickWood · 12/07/2025 09:03

I'd be fuming! I also wouldn't let the SIL round to be honest and I've been very laid back about bugs with my now 9 month old. Just isn't worth the risk, how incredibly selfish of them!

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