In laws, baby and illness

Sorry to hear that. It was definitely the worst week of my life too she's now 10 months and she can handle a cold no problem now but every cold is utterly terrifying now thinking she can't breath properly. Hope your son gets better with colds as well its such a worry

That’s awful. Similar thing happened to my son too. Worst week of my life. Has to your baby got better with colds as they’ve got older? My son is under a respiratory consultant now.

I wouldn’t let bil or sil come to be honest.

Don't let him near with a cold it is not worth it. I spent a week in hospital with my 10 week old baby at the time who got RSV after catching the cold from her sister. She was very sick and was lucky to not end up on life support so you are not being unreasonable I won't let anybody near my kids who are sick.

I hope you’ve told him if your baby gets sick then he will be the one spending 5 hours in a row walking around with them overnight, whether he has work or not. You’ve asked him not to expose baby, normal people wouldn’t come near a baby that age with a cold, and you are asking him to tell bil not to come but he’d prefer to risk his baby’s health. Thats not how a good dad acts.
my mum didn’t come to meet my first the first day after he was born, she was dying to but was a bit sniffly and wouldn’t dream of it.

This!

Last week I thought I was getting a bit of a cold. Now I'm currently lying in bed pregnant and with Covid feeling absolutely rotten, I've had it before but this has totally floored me.

I wouldn't fuck about with my newborn's health for anyone, genuinely wouldn't care how rude I come across. They're rude and selfish to even suggest visiting in the first place.

Why are some people so hellbent on making others sick?

"Dh was here, he arranged the visit and took the call.
He doesn’t like to go against his parents."

Do you not like going against your DH?
If I found out any of my friends or family had so much as a sniffle when my daughter was a baby and right up to school age and beyond, then they would not be welcome to visit. They did all know she was very immunosuppressed tho so knew to stay away.
I would just send a cheery text saying 'baby'would have loved to see Uncle and Aunty but because FIL had said you have a stinking cold we'll arrange a catch up very soon for cuddles.
By saying it that way, FIl can take the wrap!!

Was the visit today?

Just text them and say sorry sil and bil won't make it this time as obviously you prefer to keep a healthy dc if possible.. You absolutely need to advocate for your baby if your useless fuck dh won't.

YANBU

Main character syndrome here

You haven't got a phone of your own then, no?

How stupid are they? I wouldn’t want sil over either since she will likely come down with it in the next day or so and will be incubating it now.

Probably husband back at work already while Mum is on maternity leave so it actually won't impact the Dad as much if Mum/baby/older child catches a cold. Or that some men don't like to make a fuss or rock the boat? Op should have rung or messaged herself and by-passed her DH.

It’s very likely Covid - there’s loads around at the moment. Tell your DH to tell them not to come - this is definitely the last thing you need!

Totally bizarre, agree youre better off cancelling. People be cray.

Been there! So many times. Some people are ridiculous - it all about what they want 😞

I had this also. We were invited for dinner, walked in, MIL took baby off me gave her to FIL. We ate everything fine. Then they casually mention how they think FIL has shingles!!!!!! Me and my husband both looked at each other got our stuff together and left. When asked why they invited us they said well we don’t know if it is!! Luckily it wasn’t.

MIL and SIL also visited for a quick baby cuddle knowing they had been in contact with a house full of people with Covid. The day after they tested positive. I was fuming.

They have only ever cared about what they want. Wanting cuddles with the baby was more important that the risk to her health.

You need to speak to your husband about how he needs to stand up for you all. I didn’t get that in the beginning and it was very isolating and lonely. I ended up with PPD and PPA. Still suffering now nearly 3 years on.

YANBU at all, especially at just 4 weeks. My best friend didn’t meet our first until she was over a month as she had a cold that wouldn’t budge. I didn’t even have to ask, and after 3 weeks I told her I’d be fine for her to come. She insisted on waiting until she was 100% better and when I read PPs’ stories about hospital stays I’m so glad she did!

If your useless DH is too scared to put them off then you'll have to

My son at 10 weeks old ended up in hospital with Bronchiolitis had to stay in overnight with him because an IL visited and neglected to mention they had a chest infection after that I was strict about visitors and when anyone visited there was hand sanitiser on a small table in my entrance hall and this was long before Covid existed and yes I know babies are meant to pick colds, flus and viruses up to build their immune system which they did when they were older and stronger.

You are well within your rights to politely tell them not to come, you’re not the one that would have to deal with baby, your older child your DH or yourself becoming poorly with it, if they offended it’s on them totally !

When my eldest was 4 weeks old FIL and StepMIL came over and she was holding and kissing him for about 2 hours. I went to give her a hug when they left and she said oh better not as I’ve got a cold and sore throat! I was speechless! Would risk passing to me but quite happy to risk my tiny newborn! YANBU ring and say no thank you keep your germs at home