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Original poster

To ask you to please tell me if dh acted hurtfully?

35 replies

Gawwwd · 11/07/2025 22:32

Was in conversation with dh this evening and I noticed him picking my knickers off the ground, where admittedly I’d left them, and carrying them to the laundry basket as if they were the carcass of a dead rat. Like, holding them out before him disgustedly. I then heard him go to the bathroom and wash his hands!
Now, these were worn knickers but they were not soiled, and dh is not a hygiene freak (I sometimes wish). I actually felt quite hurt by his disgusted approach to my underwear, and I do feel it was perhaps a passive aggressive performance since I’d left them on the ground. Was his behaviour normal, am I wrong to feel hurt? I feel very confused by this event, all opinions welcome!

OP posts:
Original poster
Gawwwd · 11/07/2025 22:45

Allinadayswork80 · 11/07/2025 22:40

I’d wait til he next wants some intimacy with you and then act surprised, that surely he’s too disgusted by your nether regions to want to be anywhere near them! 🤣 Washing his hands afterwards is a bit dramatic and he was obviously making a point - have you commented in the past about him leaving dirty undies in the floor OP?

Edited

That’s probably part of why I’m taking this to heart - the intimacy has died a death and I feel we’re now at a place that my knickers are repulsive to him, whereas 20 years ago he'd have eaten chips out of them.

OP posts:
Allinadayswork80 · 11/07/2025 22:40

I’d wait til he next wants some intimacy with you and then act surprised, that surely he’s too disgusted by your nether regions to want to be anywhere near them! 🤣 Washing his hands afterwards is a bit dramatic and he was obviously making a point - have you commented in the past about him leaving dirty undies in the floor OP?

Spies · 11/07/2025 22:39

Why on earth were they just left on the floor? Why couldn't you put them in the wash basket? I suspect he was making a not so subtle point that it's very lazy behaviour to just discard your dirty laundry on the floor.

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 11/07/2025 22:38

He was being a dick. I picked up thousands of pairs of my ex-h's underwear over the years, it was bloody irritating but I never acted as though they were somehow radioactive.

Wishiwasperfect · 11/07/2025 22:38

Well it does sound as though he was disgusted at you leaving dirty underwear on the floor and was making a point to you.

Is leaving dirty clothes on the floor something you are in the habit of doing?

I'm afraid I have a certain amount of sympathy with your H.

NewGirlInTown · 11/07/2025 22:38

On the ground? Do you mean outside?
Or were they inside, on the floor?
Were they in your bedroom/bathroom, hastily discarded when you were changing?
If they were in a more public area of the house, I’d be mildly irritated.
He sounds a bit performative, but I wouldn’t let his pantomime hurt me.
Fuck him!

NuffSaidSam · 11/07/2025 22:37

I think he was very passive aggressive and that's never helpful.

ManchesterLu · 11/07/2025 22:37

I'd wash my hands if I'd picked up DP's undies.

As for "did he act hurtfully". Were you hurt? If so, yes. If not, no. Hurtful is subjective.

DailyMailHater · 11/07/2025 22:36

I would be so annoyed if my husband left worn underwear laying on the floor, why would you not put them in the laundry basket yourself when you took them off.
maybe he was a bit OTT but he was obviously trying to make a point and a I feel a valid one.

Ponoka7 · 11/07/2025 22:35

He's making a point. It's a really slobby thing to do.