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Annoying MIL

60 replies

Mummypie21 · 11/07/2025 19:46

My MIL isn't a horrible person but she says random annoying things - usually about appearances. I usually don't respond and just smile and nod absent-mindedly but sometimes after a difficult week (and she insists on seeing us several times a week), I have had enough. These are the following things that she's said:

  1. She adores my older ds more and this is obvious. She says that people in our church community have assumed that she is his mother (bearing in mind she is 76 and he is 7!).
  2. She said my older ds will be tall and slim like his dad (her son). DH isn't tall (he is 5'8). My younger DS will probably end up short like me (I'm 5'1).
  3. Apparently my older ds looks exactly like her so is stunning. My younger DS is 'nice-looking' but not gorgeous because he looks like me.
  4. She says she is stunning but ended up with my FIL (who in her words is nice-looking but not beautiful) because he's a nice guy.

She supposedly likes me a lot though. She has my photo on her FB profile. She tells all her friends that I'm the daughter she never had. She will phone me over her own son. She isn't uncomplimentary of me -apparently I have a great personality. However, she constantly goes on about how gorgeous she is when in fact she's a perfectly average-looking older woman (who looks younger than 76 though). Do I just continue to smile and indulge her?

OP posts:
Mummypie21 · 12/07/2025 07:48

She also comments on my appearance which I don't appreciate. She will say things like 'I was so much slimmer than you when I was your age'. (I'm a size 10 and she's a size 8). Or 'if you wore heels, we'd be the same height' (she's 5'3 so a couple of inches taller than me).

OP posts:
thepariscrimefiles · 12/07/2025 07:47

Rocknrollstar · 12/07/2025 07:33

A song as she doesn’t say things to the children about their looks,Why can’t you just indulge her? On day you will be a 70 ish mother in law yourself.

Having a favourite grandchild based on their looks and to stating this proudly is awful and this behaviour shouldn't be indulged.

Bad behaviour that damages children should never be indulged.

Mummypie21 · 12/07/2025 07:40

Rocknrollstar · 12/07/2025 07:33

A song as she doesn’t say things to the children about their looks,Why can’t you just indulge her? On day you will be a 70 ish mother in law yourself.

I'm do indulge her a lot.

I just don't like her comments about my older DS being better looking than my younger DS. Thankfully, my younger boy is resilient and will say back 'I'm still handsome though'.

OP posts:
Rocknrollstar · 12/07/2025 07:33

A song as she doesn’t say things to the children about their looks,Why can’t you just indulge her? On day you will be a 70 ish mother in law yourself.

Mummypie21 · 12/07/2025 07:27

Endofyear · 11/07/2025 22:42

She sounds bonkers to be honest! She must be delusional if she really believes people think she's your DSs mother 😳 and it's highly unusual for someone to boast that they are stunning. Is she going a bit funny in old age or has she always been this odd?

If I were you, I would shut down comments on your children's appearance, especially comparisons. Say very firmly that you and DH think both your children are impossibly beautiful and don't appreciate them being compared to each other - they are unique. On her other comments I'd just roll my eyes and laugh 'You are funny MIL!'

She's always been a bit focused on her looks. She likes make-up and it's great that she takes care of her appearance. However, she has made more comments over the years. I think she is struggling with getting old.

OP posts:
JustJoinedRightNow · 12/07/2025 04:55

I can't believe she honestly thinks people think she is your 7yo's mum!! She's bonkers

Endofyear · 11/07/2025 22:42

She sounds bonkers to be honest! She must be delusional if she really believes people think she's your DSs mother 😳 and it's highly unusual for someone to boast that they are stunning. Is she going a bit funny in old age or has she always been this odd?

If I were you, I would shut down comments on your children's appearance, especially comparisons. Say very firmly that you and DH think both your children are impossibly beautiful and don't appreciate them being compared to each other - they are unique. On her other comments I'd just roll my eyes and laugh 'You are funny MIL!'

Mummypie21 · 11/07/2025 22:36

Bump

OP posts:
Mummypie21 · 11/07/2025 19:53

Shesellsseashellsnotinmystreet · 11/07/2025 19:49

You lost me at insists on seeing her several times a week. Why pander to that shit?

She lives locally and does help out with the boys (although she insists on seeing us at any opportunity). She has been a lot better after we put in some boundaries. Originally, after I had my first born, she tried to move in with us.

OP posts:
Shesellsseashellsnotinmystreet · 11/07/2025 19:49

You lost me at insists on seeing her several times a week. Why pander to that shit?

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