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Original poster

To ask why people say, 'nice to see you'....?

107 replies

mariposa1998 · 11/07/2025 19:38

.....when it's just meaningless waffle and they might not even care/didn't want to see you?

I know that it's politeness and a pleasantry, but I just find it insincere and silly. I'd rather just say bye. Maybe I'm just projecting?

OP posts:
Isittimeformynapyet · 11/07/2025 22:09

mariposa1998 · 11/07/2025 21:19

It doesn't really boost anyone's ego though, when they know it's an excuse to avoid you 😂

Also, it's more something that people say after a conversation, not the moment you first see someone.

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Well it wouldn't work on you, you're tuned in to it 😄

Anyway, it's been lovely chatting with you @mariposa1998, I'm up early tomorrow so I'm turning in now 🤗

StrikeForever · 11/07/2025 21:28

mariposa1998 · 11/07/2025 20:26

Of course there's no need (and nobody should) be nasty or unpleasant, but I don't like when people pretend to be nice/like someone when it's insincere. I think some people say, 'nice to see you', when they're really thinking, 'oh God, not f@cking you again!', in their minds, and hope they never see you again 😂

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But you can’t read mind, so you don’t know that is what they are thinking

mamaduckbone · 11/07/2025 21:27

I say it when it's true...not sure what the issue is tbh 🤷🏼‍♀️

StrikeForever · 11/07/2025 21:26

mariposa1998 · 11/07/2025 20:24

Some people have said it to me when they literally saw me two days before....

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Does that mean they didn’t find it nice to see you again?

GospelOakCloak · 11/07/2025 21:25

Bruce Forsyth made it his own .

Original poster
mariposa1998 · 11/07/2025 21:24

HotCrossBunplease · 11/07/2025 21:20

Gosh it must be hard work carrying that much cynicism around with you OP. I rarely see people and think “oh God, not fucking her again” and I rarely assume that they are thinking this of me! I like talking to people and I am good at saying a quick hello and moving on if I am in a hurry.

If you are a in a hurry that's different of course.

OP posts:
Original poster
mariposa1998 · 11/07/2025 21:21

arcticpandas · 11/07/2025 21:17

Well, you say it because it made you happy seeing that person. I only say it if I mean it. Otherwise I say have a good evening/other random politeness. I hope I haven't offended anyone..

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You should (imo) only say it when seeing the person made you happy (outside of workplaces of course, when meaningless pleasantries are fine and part of professionalism!)

But I actually think it isn't nice when it's being used to excuse yourself from someone, as the person (unless they 100% lack self awareness) likely knows that. Much better to just say, 'bye', or 'I need to be getting on/have to run X errand etc'. I wouldn't say it's offensive, but it is insincere and annoying, and the listener knows that!

OP posts:
HotCrossBunplease · 11/07/2025 21:20

Gosh it must be hard work carrying that much cynicism around with you OP. I rarely see people and think “oh God, not fucking her again” and I rarely assume that they are thinking this of me! I like talking to people and I am good at saying a quick hello and moving on if I am in a hurry.

ConcernedOfClapham · 11/07/2025 21:19

Are you channelling the spirit of Bruce Forsyth?

Original poster
mariposa1998 · 11/07/2025 21:19

Isittimeformynapyet · 11/07/2025 20:56

It's a very useful thing to say instead of "how are you?" to people who will take twenty minutes bloody telling you.

It's also much easier to excuse yourself from a lengthy conversation when you boost someone's ego a little bit.

It doesn't really boost anyone's ego though, when they know it's an excuse to avoid you 😂

Also, it's more something that people say after a conversation, not the moment you first see someone.

OP posts:
arcticpandas · 11/07/2025 21:17

mariposa1998 · 11/07/2025 20:24

I've heard it said more when people are parting....but I think you can say it both ways.

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Well, you say it because it made you happy seeing that person. I only say it if I mean it. Otherwise I say have a good evening/other random politeness. I hope I haven't offended anyone..

Original poster
mariposa1998 · 11/07/2025 21:16

BallerinaRadio · 11/07/2025 20:54

So do you ask everyone that says this to you if they mean it or not? Do you tell them to take it back if they didn't?

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No of course I'd never ask anyone if they meant it. We can sort of extrapolate for ourselves whether someone meant it or not!

OP posts:
DiscoBob · 11/07/2025 21:15

alexdgr8 · 11/07/2025 21:10

Well I think it says more about you OP that you are convinced that most people are not pleased to see you
And therefore they must be being insincere.
I am quite old and have met thousands of people.
It would quite a taxing mental exercise to identify in my mind those whom I reckon were insincere in this.
I think there is a reciprocity generally in goodwill and generosity.

It's clearly light-hearted. And she's right that people often categorically do not mean it. I wouldn't say it except after a long and fun meet up with a friend where we'd chatted and laughed for hours. To say it to your next door neighbour as a way to get out of brief small talk is definitely insincere.

Original poster
mariposa1998 · 11/07/2025 21:14

alexdgr8 · 11/07/2025 21:10

Well I think it says more about you OP that you are convinced that most people are not pleased to see you
And therefore they must be being insincere.
I am quite old and have met thousands of people.
It would quite a taxing mental exercise to identify in my mind those whom I reckon were insincere in this.
I think there is a reciprocity generally in goodwill and generosity.

I don't think this about most people who see me! Just the odd one

OP posts:
LittlleMy · 11/07/2025 21:13

mariposa1998 · 11/07/2025 21:11

Yes exactly!! 😂

"Nice to see you...."

(2 minutes later, the person is out of ear shot) "oh not f@cking her again" 😂

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😁

Original poster
mariposa1998 · 11/07/2025 21:12

DiscoBob · 11/07/2025 21:10

I think it's a way to terminate a conversation before it's even started. You might say it at the end of a chat. But by saying it straight away it's like... 'Nice to SEE you (very briefly) but I don't want to have to TALK to you..'

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Yes exactly. I hate it though....People should just say, 'right, well I have to be getting on..."

OP posts:
magimedi · 11/07/2025 21:12

Aintgointogoa · 11/07/2025 19:46

It's so they can reply "To see you, nice" ! But that will probably go over most people's heads now...

First thing that I thought of when I saw the title of this thread.

We must be of a vintage!

Original poster
mariposa1998 · 11/07/2025 21:11

LittlleMy · 11/07/2025 21:07

I think I may have caught a bit of sun to the head as it’s making me think of Catherine Tates foul mouthed Grandma and can just visualise her saying after seeing a friend ‘It was nice to see ya’ darling’. Then as soon as she’s out earshot turning to her long suffering nephew before letting rip with her infamous line ‘What a fucking liberty! 😅

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Yes exactly!! 😂

"Nice to see you...."

(2 minutes later, the person is out of ear shot) "oh not f@cking her again" 😂

OP posts:
DiscoBob · 11/07/2025 21:10

mariposa1998 · 11/07/2025 21:02

I also find it funny....they might as well say, 'hope I never see your face again!' 😂

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I think it's a way to terminate a conversation before it's even started. You might say it at the end of a chat. But by saying it straight away it's like... 'Nice to SEE you (very briefly) but I don't want to have to TALK to you..'

alexdgr8 · 11/07/2025 21:10

Well I think it says more about you OP that you are convinced that most people are not pleased to see you
And therefore they must be being insincere.
I am quite old and have met thousands of people.
It would quite a taxing mental exercise to identify in my mind those whom I reckon were insincere in this.
I think there is a reciprocity generally in goodwill and generosity.

Original poster
mariposa1998 · 11/07/2025 21:09

Isittimeformynapyet · 11/07/2025 21:06

I say it as I make my excuses. I can be a smooth operator when needed!

I think you're right about the insincerity, but it doesn't really matter, does it? Half of what most people say is pointless anyway.

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Exactly you're hitting the nail on the head here, you're making excuses not to talk to someone....which is why I hate is an expression so much (when it isn't genuinely meant) 😅

OP posts:
NautilusLionfish · 11/07/2025 21:09

In my teens and 20s people used to say don't ask Nautilus a question if you don't want the real answer. Every question was met with blunt truth and no euphemism ( I still struggle with polite euphemistic talk). So if it wasn't nice to see them I wouldn't say that. If they didn't look good, I wouldn't say that. If I wasn't well I wouldn't say am good thanks. Am still learning in my late 40s. Small talk is crazy . Requires so much thought

LittlleMy · 11/07/2025 21:07

mariposa1998 · 11/07/2025 20:59

It's annoying. There's no need to be unkind or rude - in fact I hate rude people - but I also think there's no need to pretend to like/value someone when you don't.

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I think I may have caught a bit of sun to the head as it’s making me think of Catherine Tates foul mouthed Grandma and can just visualise her saying after seeing a friend ‘It was nice to see ya’ darling’. Then as soon as she’s out earshot turning to her long suffering nephew before letting rip with her infamous line ‘What a fucking liberty! 😅

Original poster
mariposa1998 · 11/07/2025 21:07

SoManyDandelions · 11/07/2025 19:51

I say it because I've enjoyed seeing the person and want to let them know! Why else would someone say it? I always mean it. I like people though, which seems rare on here sometimes!

Good for you if you genuinely mean it, that's the right time to say it!! But I have a hunch that some people say it when, like one poster says above, you really think the opposite and just want to excuse yourself from the person.

OP posts:
whitewineandsun · 11/07/2025 21:07

iamnotalemon · 11/07/2025 20:48

I only say it if I mean it

Yeah, same. I also do not say, "we should do this again" unless I mean it.

It's a social nicety. But you can hear if people are sincere.