AIBU to wonder my manager lied about her daughter’s school?

Is that all you took from what I said? I don't think most people would have given this a second thought. You seem to be intent in proving that your boss is a lying arsehole. It doesn't appear that she is, in the main we all agree that she isn't, yet you are getting all worked up about it, so here you go....

Your boss is a massive lying arsehole!! 🙄

Now hopefully you can get some sleep tonight.

Even if she did lie and say her daughter was at a state primary, couldn't pass 11+ and that she won't study but you find it's the opposite I don't really understand why you would be that bothered? I'm genuinely asking because I don't think it would register to me more than a brief thinking I'd got the wrong end of the stick somewhere. Or I might think she's having issues with her daughter and didn't want to go into it with a colleague so bent the truth.

Fwiw sometimes I'm a bit vague when talking about DC schools as a lot of people have certain issues with private. I don't lie but I sometimes am a bit vague, someone mentioned SATs the other day and I didn't, for example, jump in that our primary doesn't do them.

You keep saying she gave the impression that...... There is a fair chance you have misinterpreted this. People have got a very different impression from what your boss has said, yet you aren't considering this. Why bother posting when people keep saying, you may have got this wrong, then you keep stating categorically that you haven't.

And she isn't trying to one up you at all. Otherwise the chat she had with you would have been all about how her daughter is excelling. Maybe don't listen to other people's conversations, and then you can avoid all this stress and analysis.

Hopefully your boss isn't on here, because if she is, she's going to think you're really weird obsessing over a few minutes of office chat.

O.K. I really don't understand why you seem unwilling to consider things from a different perspective. Once again, I see absolutely nothing contradictory in anything your manager has said about her child's school. It all sounds consistent and truthful. But I don't think I can explain myself any more clearly than I already have, so I won't bother to repeat myself.

Not what you originally said. Read your own post. More proof it is pointless engaging.

Your posts are lengthy and repetitive. It’d be better to accept that people don’t agree with you.

Ok OP, you’re absolutely determined that she lied about her daughter’s school. So what?
Maybe she was trying connect with you
Maybe she is considering moving to state from private
Maybe the version she told you is the truth and she was lying to the colleague for reasons best known to herself

All you have to do is take anything she says about her personal life with a pinch of salt and don’t think of her as anything more than a work colleague.

If you can’t let it go, you could just ask her.

Yes, you've said all that. As many PPs (myself included) have tried to point out, all of those things can be true at the same time. Nothing she said is contradictory, nor did she tell "two completely different stories" IMO. You see things differently and obviously that's up to you. But you don't seem willing even to entertain the idea that there may have been a misunderstanding on your part, despite the many posts on this thread that suggest you may be misinterpreting her words. Why leap immediately to the ungenerous conclusion that she's lying?

Some independent grammars have a linked independent primary school. It used to be quite common for Girls Public School Trust schools to have a primary attached.

Apart from the fact that
1.there is no such thing as a private grammar school (yes, there are private schools who may use the word 'grammar' in their name, but they are private schools)
2.she isn't at a grammar school anyway because she is only 8

Suggesting she is clearly rather economical with the truth, I don't really understand why she gives a shit about SATs as private schools don't have to do them anyway!

Just to add -

My daughter is at an extremely prestigious private grammar school. Starting in year 3 is equally as competitive but in a different way. They look more at the whole child and less at purely academic test scores. People only apply if their children are academic, and even then it is about 15% of those who apply actually get a place. It’s even tougher to get in at 11.

If this was a conversation you were having with me, my answers would be very similar to your manager’s.

My daughter isn’t particularly interested in academic studies. She is obviously in the top 25% ish of her age to be at the school she’s at, but I am very sure she wouldn’t have got in at 11. The kids joining at 11 are for the most part another level of intelligence. I wouldn’t have considered a state grammar if we lived in a grammar school area, because (as your colleague says) she isn’t interested in the tutoring and studying that generally is required to gain a place. She’s very ‘well rounded’ but I wouldn’t say particularly academic. If her school did SATs and I knew your child did them, I’d have asked you how you found them. None of this would change the fact that I wouldn’t be applying for a state grammar school place, don’t think it would suit her and am not sure she would get one, but that she’s still in this highly academic, extremely hard to get into, private grammar school. Because she got in at 7 and they automatically get a place all the way through in that situation.

I think you’re looking for holes in what seems to you to be a strange story, but actually it’s pretty easy to understand…

I have a friend who described her dc as not interested in school, not particularly academic and not into studying who got all 8 's and 9 's at gcse. Obviously very bright but has not gone to university or pursued a degree apprenticeship. Her other dc didn't do as well but went on to do A levels and uni and is the 'academic one'. It's as much about the child / teens personality as it is about their attainment sometimes. School not being her thing and being naturally bright enough to excel (especially at aged 8) could both be true.

I don't think she lied. You have used either "That gave a very clear picture" or "That gave a clear impression" in almost every one of your updates. But neither if those are statements of fact, they are how you interpreted them. You cannot say she lied based on an impression.

I used to live in an area with grammar schools but also a private school with grammar in the name, people referred to it as “the private grammar” just for clarity. Nothing of what you’ve said sounds like she’s lied, just you’ve misinterpreted what thriving means to her, what an ordinary school is for her etc it’s weird that you’ve jumped straight to she’s lying when it very much just sounds like crossed wires.

I don’t understand your question. Private grammars are different to state grammars. They’re selective but don’t (always) start at 11. My child started at 7, and didn’t (to the best of my knowledge) sit an 11+. She also didn’t sit SATS but I know some private schools too.

If your manager’s child is already on summer holidays and you’re England based then it’s a private school. I don’t know what you think is deceptive and also don’t understand why you think any of this is any of your business though?

Nothing about how she describes her child's school seems dishonest to me. Everything sounds as though it is true and not at all contradictory. You may define an "ordinary school" as "a typical local state primary school," but she clearly doesn't see the phrase that way. Since "ordinary school" is a bit of a woolly term without an agreed upon definition, people understandably view it from their own perspective. She may not have mentioned to you that her DD's current school is private, but maybe she didn't consider that detail relevant to your discussion. Obviously, it's up to you how you perceive her comments. But it seems as though you are determined to interpret them in the least generous, most cynical way possible.