AIBU to wonder my manager lied about her daughter’s school?

Also private schools for 8 year olds don’t have stringent entry requirements much beyond the ability to pay the term fees.

Not necessarily ,in most parts of the UK state Grammar schools don't actually exist any way
The local private school in town Igrew up is called Town name Grammar school and they have pupils from nursery to sixth form he had that name since the 1800,s.

Moral of the story - don’t eavesdrop on your colleague’s conversations.

*So she was asking about SATs, you talked about 11+ and she didn't want to get a tutor.

She's probably perfectly happy with the school her DD is attending and doesn't want a tutor to get her into a state grammar.

This seems like a non event to me.*

Exactly this. I can't see where she's lied to you about anything.

Not only an oxymoron but impossible because the child is only eight and therefore three years too young for secondary school.

Curious thread 🤔

Excelling doesn’t always just mean academically. The private school could have a strong focus on sports or the arts or she could just mean she’s taken to the school well. It doesn’t mean she’d pass an 11+ or that she lied to you. Both things can be true.

OK this is what you said, "She was asking about SATs for her 8-year-old DD. I explained what I knew and also mentioned the 11+ since my DS (14) is at a grammar school and went through the process.
She said her daughter isn’t really into study so there is no point getting a tutor."

So she was asking about SATs, you talked about 11+ and she didn't want to get a tutor.

She's probably perfectly happy with the school her DD is attending and doesn't want a tutor to get her into a state grammar.

This seems like a non event to me.

So she said it wasn't worth getting a tutor and you think that somehow means her DD shouldn't be at a school with grammar in the name?

I'm confused.

When I was at school (many years ago) there was a boy's school nearby, keen rival to our boy's school. Many of these selective schools had a long history, founded by historical benefactors; my own school has a history going back more than 300 years. They were absorbed into the state sector after the Butler Act , just after WW2, generally known as grant maintained grammar schools.
But times were changing, and the decision had to be made; stay on the state system but become comprehensive, close completely, or transfer back to the independent sector. You may remember that Sir Kier Starmer was a pupil at what was a grammar school which became independent while he was there.
My old school became a co-education comprehensive, another local girl's grammar closed entirely, the old rival boy's school opted for the private sector. They have now gone co-ed, and admit pupils from pre-prep onwards, but given the long history, the name "grammar" has somehow stuck, albeit not officially. They are fee-paying, and have their own admissions system.

Presumably she doesn’t think her 8 year old could get into an actual grammar school so has put her in a private school. Maybe she’s excelling compared to where she was before and improved a lot, enjoying school and has good support.

She also may not wanted to mention her daughters at a private school if she thinks you wouldn’t be able to afford it. She’s a manager so can send her daughter private but doesn’t want to seem out of touch or smug to her reports.

Presumably she doesn’t think her 8 year old could get into an actual grammar school so has put her in a private school. Maybe she’s excelling compared to where she was before and improved a lot, enjoying school and has good support.

She also may not wanted to mention her daughters at a private school if she thinks you wouldn’t be able to afford it. She’s a manager so can send her daughter private but doesn’t want to seem out of touch or smug to her reports.

Presumably she doesn’t think her 8 year old could get into an actual grammar school so has put her in a private school. Maybe she’s excelling compared to where she was before and improved a lot, enjoying school and has good support.

She also may not wanted to mention her daughters at a private school if she thinks you wouldn’t be able to afford it. She’s a manager so can send her daughter private but doesn’t want to seem out of touch or smug to her reports.

But she was asking you about a proper state grammar for secondary school age kids, ie ones who have passed the 11plus. Which is not what her 8yo Dd is at.

its not unusual for parents of kids at a private prep/junior school to investigate the 11plus and state grammar options to save money at secondary.

just because her Dd is at a private primary paying fees it does not mean she is excelling at school regardless of the fact the school has “grammar” in the name.

There are bunch of schools around here that have grammar in the name but aren't grammar schools. It's very confusing. Isn't the PM's school an example of this too?

Also, if her child is not very academic, she may well have felt comfortable enough to tell you that but not whoever she was talking to so mentioned "private grammar" in some misguided attempt to big up her child. If anything, she lied to the other person, not you.

just because he’s daughter is doing well at a private primary school now, it doesn’t mean that she’d pass the 11+ and be able to go to a Grammar School

You can only assume she’s excelling. Given your daughter is at a grammar, maybe you come across a bit smug?

I think you're getting your wires crossed here! Your daughter goes to a state grammar school where the 11+ is the entry requirement?
Her daughter goes to a private school that has grammar in it's title. She won't be doing the 11+ to go to the state grammar school because they intend to keep her at the current school into secondary level (which may or may not have their own entry requirement).
State grammar schools are secondary level education, age 11+, but other schools may have "Grammar" in their name.

Some people are a bit judgy about private school. Maybe she thought you're one of those. Or maybe she just didn't want to tell you. Which is fine.

Maybe she just didn’t want to tell you?