AIBU to wonder my manager lied about her daughter’s school?

Some people lie out of convenience. If it suits how they want to come across in that moment that’s what they will say whether it’s true or not.

From what you describe your manager doesn’t like you and perhaps feels you are smug or braggy and she decided she didn’t want to have something in common with you so lied and said her child was different to yours.

Another possibility is she didn’t like you appearing to have superior knowledge to her about a certain subject and cut the conversation short by lying.

I meet people like this all the time, the majority of my family are like it. I think it’s because they live and die by how others perceive them. So they say whatever suits whichever circumstances they’re in.

They go away and think about it then come up with something to “top” you. To say private grammar is very telling. There are selective schools but not private grammar schools

The school the PM went to is still called Reigate Grammar and is private. It's very hard to get into.

How is the headteacher trying to top the OP when she didn't tell her about it?!

Convenient thing not to mention until Page 5 of the thread. Of course she did…

Some selective private schools are far more selective than others.

There are lots of rich kids who aren’t especially bright at private schools. Many of these schools will have entrance tests - that doesn’t mean you have to get a super-high mark to get in. Often they just want to make sure kids can actually read and write…

Some selective private schools are far more selective than others.

There are lots of rich kids who aren’t especially bright at private schools. Many of these schools will have entrance tests - that doesn’t mean you have to get a super-high mark to get in. Often they just want to make sure kids can actually read and write…

She asked you because she knew your son was probably doing well. They can’t bear that

This is what I observed in the office I worked in. They go away and think about it then come up with something to “top” you. To say private grammar is very telling. There are selective schools but not private grammar schools

I mean - who cares? Why even bother yourself with this.

@temptemp2 I don't think you should take it personally or think it's that deep.

I didn’t tell work colleagues about my DC being in private school, due to past negative comments from acquaintances, friends and colleagues. But also didn’t initiate conversations with colleagues about education.

Unless you’re in London or a few other places, private primary school entrance tests are not hugely selective. So your colleague’s statements to you vs the other colleague about her DC were not necessarily contradictory.

Or perhaps after speaking to you she decided to be more open at work about paying for her DC’s education.

Lots of people play down schools. I know so many parents who didn't do any prep for their grammar place & applied last minute. In reality they have been having tuition for years! 😆

... or maybe the daughter is at the state school on a Monday and Tuesday and the 'private grammar' for 8 years old on Wednesdays and Thursdays. What you don't know (but I do) is that she told me her daughter is at Hogwarts on a Friday.

Yeah, that’s an interesting addition to support her view point that’s not been mentioned previously.

Then you have changed your story from your opening post.

If she did actually tell you that her child was at an 'ordinary' (let's assume that means state secondary) and then was overheard telling someone else that her daughter is at private 'grammar' - then OK - she lied to someone.

Not necessarily malicious. Probably better paid and maybe didn't want you to view her as bragging or trying to 'top' you.

Or daughter actually attends state secondary and she was trying to look good to the person you overheard her chatting to.

I don’t see how this could be oneupmanship as the manager gave op the impression their child was doing worse than her son.

Are you sure you haven’t got your wires crossed in the effort you made to break your neck to shoehorn in how your son is at a grammar school after passing the 11+ when the manager specifically asked you about SAT’s? I’m failing to understand why you brought that up. It sounds more like YOU were bragging and now feel your nose is out of joint thinking her child is at a better school than your DS. Maybe she knows you’re a bit like that and couldn’t be arsed to make it a competition with you.

Maybe she was playing a game to see if you would mention (no doubt for the millionth time) that your son goes to a grammar school.

She actually did say her daughter was in an ordinary school.

Are you sure about that? I can't imagine that that could have happened as you're now remembering it. Because otherwise that would've been the crux of your thread - 'Manager told me their child goes to state school, but it was a lie'. The other detail about 11+ and the kid's academic performance would be irrelevant.

Why do you care? I hate telling my colleagues about my private life. It’s none of their business.

I gave up reading the thread but I feel sorry for your manager OP, you sound like hard work.