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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think parents should be given a proxy vote for their children

155 replies

OldLondonDad · 11/07/2025 10:08

Bit of a random topic for AIBU, but since we've had a few threads recently on politics and taxes, why not?...

A decade or so ago I thought it seemed that those who will impacted most by today's policies have the least (no!) say in them. Our politics are largely shaped by the vote of the oldest section of society and the youngest just have to live with it.

Solution? Give parents an extra vote per child. They will be highly likely to use it in the way that benefits their child, so the country's policies will be more likely to favour the young (and the future of the country) rather than the old.

There's a name for the concept - demeny voting. It gets considered here and there in various countries, but what does mumsnet think?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demeny_voting

(no I'm not a journalist / politician / think-tank analyst etc., just a regular dad)

Demeny voting - Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demeny_voting

OP posts:
SerendipityJane · 11/07/2025 14:24

TheOriginalEmu · 11/07/2025 14:03

I would say the kids of today are much more politically motivated than my generation was at that age on the whole.

That doesn't mean they are necessarily best placed to vote in their own interests though.

Really, the only issue that should be vexing the next generations are how to cope with climate change.

Dearg · 11/07/2025 14:15

Tell you what, why don’t we try to improve the system we have; such as

Reform of the House of Lords - make the second chamber electable
Proportional representation - quit the first past the post
No more black / white referenda- more first past the post
Scots/Welsh governments to require second houses/ review on bills - legislation should not be too fast

FWIW I am childless but I care very much about the world my nieces / nephews are inheriting

JudesBiggestFan · 11/07/2025 14:13

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SpryLilacSnake · 11/07/2025 14:05

BlueJuniper94 · 11/07/2025 13:49

"Potentially a way that any child over the age of 11 has the right to withdraw their vote if they feel their parents will not vote in their interests. "

Big no. So families that agree get double the votes of offspring that disagree with their parents over what their interests are and how they're best served. Doesn't sound very fair...

Well yeah, to be fair it's not a fully thought out policy or idea, that was just a suggestion.

I just think it's an interesting idea and one we should be able to talk about and come up with ideas on rather than everyone just complaining that it's "not fair".

Well the current system isn't exactly fair, children literally have no respresentation in voting. Although 50% of people on this thread seem to say that they do have representation because their parents vote in their interests i.e. split their vote between themselves and their children and the other 50% seem to think it's a bad idea because parents won't vote the same way as their children - also not fair because in that case children are even less represented.

Again, I have no skin in this game (childless) but think people without the capacity to vote are under-represented.

TheOriginalEmu · 11/07/2025 14:03

WasThatACorner · 11/07/2025 10:15

No but parents should be talking to their children about politics and be helping them get registered to vote, research different parties and candidates.

The number of young people not voting or don't know how to vote is very worrying.

I would say the kids of today are much more politically motivated than my generation was at that age on the whole.

jannier · 11/07/2025 14:00

So extremists and controlling arses can have loads more kids to get extra votes and vote for their extremist ideas

Whereishenow · 11/07/2025 14:00

BashfulClam · 11/07/2025 13:57

They can get married (in England they would need parental consent but in Scotland they don’t), that can have children but can’t vote…life experience isn’t needed to have an interest in politics. Loads of people with life experience have mashed tatties between their ears but can vote.

Exactly. So you need "life experience" to vote. But it's totally fine if you're ages 95, with mild dementia. Go ahead

BlueJuniper94 · 11/07/2025 13:59

SerendipityJane · 11/07/2025 13:58

You seem to think we have it to start with.

Do I? Have you actually read my posts on this thread or are you just a random snark generator

SerendipityJane · 11/07/2025 13:58

BlueJuniper94 · 11/07/2025 13:53

Well, let's get rid of democracy altogether then!

You seem to think we have it to start with.

BashfulClam · 11/07/2025 13:57

TourdeFrance2025 · 11/07/2025 10:46

No, there's really not. 16 year olds don't have any life experience.

They can get married (in England they would need parental consent but in Scotland they don’t), that can have children but can’t vote…life experience isn’t needed to have an interest in politics. Loads of people with life experience have mashed tatties between their ears but can vote.

Growlybear83 · 11/07/2025 13:55

My political views were very different from my parents from the age I became politically aware at about 12. They would never have voted in a way that I woukd have considered aligned with my views.

BlueJuniper94 · 11/07/2025 13:53

SerendipityJane · 11/07/2025 13:51

Life isn't fair. deal with it.

Well, let's get rid of democracy altogether then!

grumpygrape · 11/07/2025 13:52

Inexplicable3Bed · 11/07/2025 10:41

Do we really want the people with lots of young kids, having all the votes?

Agree
And the person down the road with 5 feral tweens should get 6 votes when my husband and I only get 1 each ?
Not voting for this one thanks.

SerendipityJane · 11/07/2025 13:51

BlueJuniper94 · 11/07/2025 13:49

"Potentially a way that any child over the age of 11 has the right to withdraw their vote if they feel their parents will not vote in their interests. "

Big no. So families that agree get double the votes of offspring that disagree with their parents over what their interests are and how they're best served. Doesn't sound very fair...

Life isn't fair. deal with it.

BlueJuniper94 · 11/07/2025 13:49

SpryLilacSnake · 11/07/2025 13:41

Of course but, as a gross oversimplification, if we had 151 people, 50 are children, 50 are parents and 51 are childless. If the 50 parents all vote for what they think would benefit their children (option A) and the 51 that are childless vote for option B (again, gross oversimplification, not saying they all would but they would be more likely to) then option B happens when theoretically option A would have benefitted more people.

I'm childless by the way, I just think this idea makes loads of sense. It would obviously need a bit more thinking though. Potentially a way that any child over the age of 11 has the right to withdraw their vote if they feel their parents will not vote in their interests. But that's just one idea, I'm sure there would be loads.

"Potentially a way that any child over the age of 11 has the right to withdraw their vote if they feel their parents will not vote in their interests. "

Big no. So families that agree get double the votes of offspring that disagree with their parents over what their interests are and how they're best served. Doesn't sound very fair...

BlueJuniper94 · 11/07/2025 13:46

OP YABU for thinking voting does anything other than legitimise corporate power. We may aswell let children vote - hell toddlers. At least then its transparent and everyone can actually see the extent to which we are utterly powerless and held in contempt.

Fimofriend · 11/07/2025 13:45

KimberleyClark · 11/07/2025 10:25

People who can’t physically get to a polling station can have a postal vote. Giving a proxy vote to the carer of someone without the mental capacity to vote is just giving the carer an extra vote.

Exactly. Some of our friends have a daughter with Downs Syndrome and it is pretty servere. Even her dad sometimes has trouble understanding what she is trying to say. Her mum claims that the daughter can write but the mum is the only one who can interpret the texts. The mum ensures that her daughter goes to vote st every election. That is just wrong.

BlueJuniper94 · 11/07/2025 13:44

dudsville · 11/07/2025 13:39

The assumption with your idea is that older voters don't care about young people. Young people don't know what life is like, and have no clue at all what life is like for the older generations. Whereas older adults do know what life is like, across the ages, and can vote about it intelligently. Whether any voter of any age actually does vote intelligently is by the by. If you're an adult but, say, a young parent, I don't necessarily trust you to know what it's like to be older.

It's quite clear older voters don't care about younger people. If they did they would consider sharing their wealth so people can have the families and homes that they did. But they don't and any party that promised to redistribute in this way would be unelectable.

SerendipityJane · 11/07/2025 13:41

It's an interesting suggestion 😀

SpryLilacSnake · 11/07/2025 13:41

RaininSummer · 11/07/2025 12:59

Parents can just vote for what they think would benefit their children though can't they? Having two votes seems inane as they may just contradict each other.

Of course but, as a gross oversimplification, if we had 151 people, 50 are children, 50 are parents and 51 are childless. If the 50 parents all vote for what they think would benefit their children (option A) and the 51 that are childless vote for option B (again, gross oversimplification, not saying they all would but they would be more likely to) then option B happens when theoretically option A would have benefitted more people.

I'm childless by the way, I just think this idea makes loads of sense. It would obviously need a bit more thinking though. Potentially a way that any child over the age of 11 has the right to withdraw their vote if they feel their parents will not vote in their interests. But that's just one idea, I'm sure there would be loads.

dudsville · 11/07/2025 13:39

The assumption with your idea is that older voters don't care about young people. Young people don't know what life is like, and have no clue at all what life is like for the older generations. Whereas older adults do know what life is like, across the ages, and can vote about it intelligently. Whether any voter of any age actually does vote intelligently is by the by. If you're an adult but, say, a young parent, I don't necessarily trust you to know what it's like to be older.

SpryLilacSnake · 11/07/2025 13:35

WhatWouldJeevesDo · 11/07/2025 10:41

If people honestly considered their children’s interests when they voted, there would be no need for your scheme.

That's exactly why. If parents are honestly considering their children's interests when voting then they are using one vote to represent their own interests plus those of their children. If a single parent has 2 children, that's one vote representing 3 people whereas childless adults have one vote per person.

AnneElliott · 11/07/2025 13:33

I wouldn’t support that. But what we should do is think about how we encourage 18-24 year olds to vote. They are the lowest level of voting I believe and their views would be more attended to if they voted in the same proportion as older people.

Motomum23 · 11/07/2025 13:10

Nope
I'm right wing - my ds is left wing and has been since he was 16... I don't think voting left wing is in his favour as its filling our country with people we physically cannot house but in sure he would disagree and giving ME a vote on his behalf would not be voting in his direction.

RaininSummer · 11/07/2025 12:59

Parents can just vote for what they think would benefit their children though can't they? Having two votes seems inane as they may just contradict each other.