Feeling defensive, but is she right that I need a reality check here?

I get that. Have a talk with your husband, explain how you feel. it is nice that he wants more time with you both but being at home together more often would be good.

You’re being a total brat. The only time most people “get to themselves” isn’t free time to choose what to do it’s just time away from children working.

If these trips stress you out to the point where you're moaning about parenting your child while you're away, then stop.

Don't forget to check if your diamond shoes are too tight before you pack them

It sounds like you have a nice life, good partner with normal stresses. I had a partner who worked away a lot and left our week away in Suffolk after three days to travel. It was unexpected but unavoidable according to him. I had two young children to entertain for four days but it was fine. Stressful returning home without satnav and a child who couldn’t read a map (this was before satnav was a thing). Enjoy your time away with your child 😊

What are you talking about? I literally told you I'm NOT complaining!!!!!!!!! I also said I LOVE being with my children, and said I LOVE MY LIFE!! No idea how you think I'm complaining?!😂😂

I think you’re missing one key bit of perspective.

Very, very few parents of small children get any meaningful quantity of time to themselves. It’s often limited to the commuting time.

Yes, it’s daunting doing full time child stuff when you’re not used to it. The good thing is you get better at it with practise.

If you need it for balance, book the occasional half day before or after a trip to sort out holiday stuff and get some quiet time.

You have got quite a nice set up but I appreciate you’re feeling a bit stressed looking after DD for three days on you own.
Personally, I’d knock the frequent trips on the head and maybe book one or two holidays a year where you both take the whole week off to enjoy. You still have your Sunday family days for day trips or whatever.

You are so far removed. You are worried about 3 days with your daughter by yourself? SHE IS YOUR DAUGHTER... some parents would treasure this 1 on 1 time. Most parents that work part time would have this set up every week... get a grip.

actually @T1002 "most" parents are doing it 24/7 52 weeks a year, it's what being a parent is, surely.

Your little one is at a lovely age (ime) and she goes to nursery, so it's not just one day a week, to yourself, really, especially if you don't work from home.

Wrt the packing, if it's just for you and your daughter, could you just keep a suitcase permanently packed?

That may alleviate some of your discombobulation.

You do seem to be in a relatively comfortable position tbh, I wonder what it is really that's making you so unhappy.

Do you feel more like a single parent, with your partner just swanning in and whisking you and your daughter away, but he does none of the daily grind and grunt work?

If so, an adult conversation with him should be had.

But think long and hard about what it is you actually want before broaching the subject.

Well you made your choice so don't really complain about having to balance it all?

This 👏

Pp are being harsh imo.

Your set up shows that having money doesn't solve every problem.

But I think you'll find you're perfectly capable of looking after your dd for 3 days on your own, you just haven't ever done it to know your can.
How does your dp feel about looking after dd when you're working?

It might be better to have less frequent time away, or an actual proper holiday where neither of you have to work.

I'm not complaining! I love my life!

But actually, school wouldn't have made my life easier, as we live in England (but not English), and we travel a fair bit back to home country, plus one child is an athlete so we're away a lot for that. Juggling school would never have worked and would have been very stressful, thanks to the English schools fining parents etc.

So, no, home education is definitely the right choice for our lifestyle!

You're fine to voice your frustrations and your sister is fine to be pissed off - I imagine that this conversation was the straw that broke the camels back.
Although you don't see it (because you only know your own experience), you are in an incredibly fortunate position. I know many women who have had a child early in a relationship - most of the men scarpered and they can't even get a fiver off them for nappies never mind being give spending money and having all nursery fees covered. Maybe try seeing your life from another's point of view - is your sister herself struggling?
Maybe you need to have a conversation about long term plans as your posts indicate that you aren't happy with the current set up.

I do think sisters should listen to each others’ moans without kicking off, though it’s allowed to be a bit ‘mm yes’ about it. Is she having a tough time?

Tbh you have a 3 year old, you’re working ?full time and everybody in that situation is stressed so YANBU. I got pregnant 4 weeks after meeting Dh so I get what you mean about the slight feeling that you’re on probation for a long time, or on the back foot.

You are both right in a way. The thing is, you have it much easier compared to many, but it's still not 'easy'. Any parent struggles whether working or not, it's bloody difficult raising a 3 yr old. So it's ok to let off a bit of steam once in a while but not going on about it. I suspect you touched a nerve. It's probably best not to complain to your sister about it again.

My dh is obsessed with holidays and while they can be enjoyable I find the packing and organising very stressful. I hate travelling by plane and i really hate the heat. But I am going on 3 flying holidays this year, one was long haul at Easter and one to a very hot part of Europe in a few weeks. I'm absolutely dreading it. Generally I get little sympathy for my struggles! So I say nothing, and people say you are so lucky to be off again and I just nod and smile. I secretly envy them going for a few days somewhere local but people find it hard to understand that others like different things.

Erm, yes they are! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 your sister is right. Reality check for you.

Three days looking after your own child "feels like a lot"! 😂😂 You get a whole day to yourself once a week!! What do you think most parents do?? I assume you're very young or very spoilt? Your sister is correct

This. I don’t know if any parent who gets a day to themselves. Maybe they exist somewhere?

We always worked opposite days/shifts, so you were either at work or had the kids. No family or help. It was a tag in/out the door situation and if both of us were home at the same time, one would have been asleep as on night shifts, often pulled doubles etc so never the luxury of two parents looking after the kids together at the same time, or someone having a day off to go somewhere and gaze at their navel! Your situation sounds like luxury, yet you feel it’s a lot of work???

To be fair you could have put them in school. Made your life easier.

Reminds me of a tiktoker I know who is a SAHM with lots of money and a lovely house and farm. I was slightly envious but I have lost that when she says her husband loves to work and they only see him for a few hours a week. No thanks!

YANBU - I hate this attitude that many people and many replies on this thread have that feeling fed up or anxious or stressed is a competition. You have a right to feel fed up, without it being compared to others or being told your feelings are invalid because there are people worse off. And your sister (IMO) should be the person you can have a whinge to without being judged! Me and my sister always have a good whinge to each other and it makes us feel a lot better!

All the martyrs on this thread.

Are we supposed to envy or pity you?

More fool you. Not everyone puts themselves in that situation or has useless partners who don't help with the kids. I was always the higher earner and DP had to do his share, and I always had at least some time to myself, at least as much as DP did.

Your sister has a point, I'm afraid!

I run two small businesses, AND home educate my children, so I'm with them full-time. I have never had a day off. Ever. Oh wait, apart from the 2 days I ended up in hospital having emergency surgery.

I LOVE being with my children, sure the early days were hard, especially as my DH worked away 5 days per week so was only home weekends, but it does get easier as they get older and a bit more independent.

I'm not sure on your sister's circumstances, but perhaps you were being a tad tone deaf, both to her, and many of us on here who do a lot more than you and don't moan about it!

I do think the high frequency of trips is too much, surely 3 nice trips a year would be more relaxing and enjoyable?

Sorry but a lot of parents do not get time to themselves. Except when they are at work!