Feeling defensive, but is she right that I need a reality check here?

YANBU. Sorry you don’t think you can look after your child in your own for 3 days!, poor kid.

your sister is right you have a great life compared to many. If you are finding the travelling difficult then tell your oartner, get him to help with the packing, but I bet lots of people would be very happy for your life

She's the one blocking progressing in the relationship, though!

DP wants to progress the relationship but I am taking it slow as technically we have been together only 3 ish years

It's all relative but TBH you sound spoilt. I get zero days off a week, regularly look after my young kids alone for weeks at a time on top of working full time, and my DH doesn't give me 'extra spending money'. A day a week off is a lot TBH. Perfectly fine to want to change things round if you feel like for example you want him to work less and look after DD more, and in exchange you work more. But sorry you IMO are doing very well compared to most parents of young kids.

You do sound like a brat sorry

@LittleGlowingOblong Parenting while courting! exactly, it's an odd set up.

Because yes, your whining about your very privileged life comes off as very spoiled.

Why is the OP privileged? Her partner is away most of the week every week & if they were actually married financially he would be contributed a lot more than 1k plus nursery if he earns well.

Is she privileged because she has time to herself & wants it?

I’m a widow and I think YANBU. I think parenting in any circumstances is hard, and you lack both total autonomy and total certainty about your future situation. Parenting while courting!

It’s not. How on earth do you get through life if you think three days is hard? My dh traveled for work and was often away three weeks. I had two under 3 then and worked full time in a very stressful job. If this is real you sound unhinged.

I think it's a good thing that you were willing to consider your sister's pov and get some feedback.

Because yes, your whining about your very privileged life comes off as very spoiled. Your expectations of what working motherhood is like seems drastically off and I think you're going to have to adjust those. I don't know any working mother of a toddler who expects much time to themselves. I would say if you're finding motherhood this difficult to not consider having more kids. Now, your kid is 3 and toddlers are a tough age. Hopefully as she grows and becomes more independent you'll find parenting easier. Parent life is not child free life. It sounds like you're having some difficulty making that switch

Can you cut down on the trips if they're overwhelming you? Are you more of a homebody and does your kid travel well? Keep a bag packed with stuff for a trip besides clothes for both you and your kid, get the small sizes of toiletries. Learn to travel light.

Your partner is working and he takes work trips. He also takes combined business/ pleasure trips that you are objecting to his working on because you will have to watch your child solo for 3 days. The horror!

Do you hear yourself there?

Oh, my husband used to take 3 and 6 months contracts where he would be away and be able to visit for a few days every month.

OP, i wouldn't call you a brat but i think it will help if you look more objectively at your situation. I am a single mum (by choice), but that means i have no days to myself, i work full time, have no second income, and i live abroad so have no family support. I understand when you have had rocky times you have your blinkers on about your situation because i have done the same, but try and count your blessings that you have a much easier situation than many people

@Boymummy2015 I would have no option but to cope if we had different jobs & who knows re the OP. Sometimes when your hand is forced you just have to get on with it.

I have most of the school holidays off but my dc still do summer camps etc for their own interests and so I can have peace at home!

I actually can't believe you can write that 3 full days in a row of watching your DD feels a lot!

My DC is 17 now buy I'd have loved one whole day a week to myself. Even now I would take a day a month to myself!

Your DSis is right, you need a reality check. That said, surely cutting down the trips would make life easier? Doesn't seem like a big issue to have less holidays, just loosen those tight diamond shoes....

@T1002 Sorry OP, but I think YABU. 90% of single parents are mothers and many of them not only do all the childcare, but have money worries too because the deadbeat fathers have no involvement with their DC, much less pay child maintenance. I think you need to remind yourself that your situation is very much better than many mothers (including those with present DPs) - and I think this is why your DS became irritated with you.
Regarding your frequent "holidays", couldn't you explain to your DP what you've told us on here and ask him if you, as a family, could have some of these breaks at home so it doesn't cause you more work with packing, etc?

What struggles?

I agree you are being a brat. Well and truly.

Myself & my DH work together both work in Transport and F/T it's an absolute struggle and we juggle it all somehow. Kids are all busy too with one activity or another 6/7 days a week. I can't help but think how will OP manage when DC is older as whilst yes 3 is a difficult age she only has the 1 child.....

Haven’t read the full thread - but for what it’s worth op, I would be pissed off if my partner planned a week away and then said he had to work 3 of those days.
I’d rather save my annual leave and use it for a whole block of time where we would be spending quality time together.
i don’t understand why he seems to feel that spending time together means a trip away?

I look after 3 under 5 almost every day of the year.

Sounds like hell but did you choose to have them so close together & not use childcare?

This!!

You’re a complete brat. Most parents wouldn’t be fazed at all looking after their children 3 days in a row.
often looking after 2 children or more. I look after 3 under 5 almost every day of the year.

@Boymummy2015 that's true about work/lack of choice & I would really struggle if DH had a job like this.

I'm p/t, dc are in school, have lots of gp help but the fact dh works hybrid makes my life & our family lives so much easier.

Looking after your daughter alone for 3 days is not a big deal at all. Many people look after several children alone everyday. I used to be a childminder and had multiple children all day on my own.

Just plan your day - out and about doing an activity in the morning. Then lunch. Then a quieter activity in the afternoon. With a 3 year old for a better experience you do need to focus your day around her rather than trying to have an adult day that she tags along with.

Going away is nice but exhausting when you're doing all the packing and organising stuff. It seems like you're hardly home before going off again and trying to juggle work too.

I'd advise less trips but possibly for a longer length of time so you get a proper number of days away. With less trips when you do go away take annual leave and have a proper holiday. You're not going to be able to carry on like you currently are when your DD starts school.

Oh gosh how awful for you 🤣 holidays every few weeks. The horror.

Seriously why on earth are you bloody going?! Just have a break- I’d be knackered if I was packing up every few weeks to go away. If you are working can you even enjoy it properly.

Is your sister struggling, could you take her with you?

I don't know anyone with kids who gets one day a week entirely to themselves.

You don't know any SAHPs?

I’d take your set up in a heartbeat!