Feeling defensive, but is she right that I need a reality check here?

Most people with children certainly don't get a day to themselves regularly! You are very lucky in that respect.

Speak to her partner and cut down on the trips - maybe do more day trips out instead.

She seems to have flexiable work and be financially comfortable - that's a nice place to be and she can say no to these trips or suggest alternatives that work better for her.

Personally I wonder why the sister was suddenly so blunt if she not normally - is it just fed up of being moaned to or is there something going on in her life that the OP is oblivious to that means this moaning has hit a nerve.

Sorry, but people who have kids often don't get any time to themselves. So I voted YABU. I can't remember the last time I had a couple of hours to myself, let alone a whole day.

I appreciate that it was hard when you had LO, but in reality you sound like it has all worked out well overall. Sometimes you need to count your blessings in life and look back and enjoy how much things have improved. Maybe your DS is going through a hard time, or someone she knows is? Try and keep your own woes in perspective and maybe work on your own inner monologue to yourself to try and work out whether you aren't happy for other reasons.

If you want to progress the relationship, why don’t you suggest he has a go at packing for her? He lives there too? And unpacking which is always shit.

On the whole, I think 'brat'. Lots of people have to care for their children alone because of the partner's work commitments. I spent 8 months of the year doing it for years without the holiday breaks you seem to be getting. Maybe have a convo about not going away so often if that is what is making it hard as being out of routine can be a pain with a small child .

This post has got to be a joke.... nochance is this a serious post after what @T1002 posted about no parents actually parenting all the time.....

Does your sister have children? Does she know what it's like? I don't think you are being a brat at all. Going on holiday with young children is all the slog of the usual day to day routines with the added stress of not having all your familiar props to keep you going (variety of toys/playparks/foods; extra towels/bedding if ill; familiar bed, bath etc. Small children are very conservative and change of routine is quite distressing and demanding on them, so they can be extra hard work on holiday.

You have to work for a few days, and look after your child for a few days while he works. And pack up and travel. He needs to recognise this is NOT a break for you. Demonstrate this by asking him to do all the packing of everything she needs, and organise all the travel, and look after her 100% of the time on the days when you are working while away.

Why not ask him to just come and stay more often and take her out for the day so you get a solid break, then go out together for the day so you get time as a family?

@beetr00 the bar is set so low!

Pray tell, where do you think we are carting our kids off to?

It reminds me of SAHPs who are resentful of their partners who get to go to work whilst they’re stuck at home.I completely understand why they’d feel that way but at the same time they’re very lucky they get the choice of being a SAHP.

But it's not a choice if they would rather work but can't as their DH can't or won't facilitate it or they can't afford childcare?

financially comfortable, is the reasoning, I suspect @munchingmunch 🤷🏼

A couple of weeks ago I was explaining to my sister that I feel stressed about having to look after dd alone for 3 days in Norfolk and I wasn’t looking forward to it as I felt DP should have taken off the whole week.

I don't have any words! Stressed about looking after your own child for 3 days?

I was going to come in and say that maybe your sister had a point but she could have put it more gently, but then I saw this post and I’m out 😂😂😂

Just wondering, is your partner wanting to go on all these trips for quality time with you because he doesn't feel at home in your house? You've said that you didn't want to give up your home and he now rents his out. Sounds like he doesn't really have a "base" as it were as he's working away a lot and now staying at yours? Maybe all the trips are his way of dealing with that? I could be completely wrong of course but it's something that stood out to me.

What should she do? Just suck it up because other people may be envious and could only dream of her privilege?!!

Apparently so...

It’s quite funny actually. 🤣

@T1002

what do you think other parents do?

Most people with jobs and young kids don’t get a whole day to themselves a week.

It's not that unusual surely since a large percentage of mothers are p/t particularly with young dc?

Yes I do agree that OP knew exactly what she was letting herself in for and she’s the one blocking it by not moving in together.

As a PP said, you can’t have your cake and eat it too.

It reminds me of SAHPs who are resentful of their partners who get to go to work whilst they’re stuck at home.
I completely understand why they’d feel that way but at the same time they’re very lucky they get the choice of being a SAHP.

I think I would do less trips if they are a source of stress and definitely move in together.

I don’t really understand why you’d have a child and plan to marry someone but are reluctant to move in.
Id be doing this for at least 12 months this before setting a date for the wedding.

boo bloody hoo! Christ alive!

It may be a sign something going on in her life o rthat she fed up of you moaning to her.

I suspect it's becuase it's not something you do it feels dauting - it will likely be fine.

I remember being stressed when DH was away at weekends - then he started doing an annual week conference away - which I found hard then year later he was working away in the week - I adapted as my normal changed.

Though I remember when he was working away I had three kids to get to bed every night and I had one Mum moaning to me she had to put one to bed by herself as her DH was working a late shift for extra money - I made all the right noises but it did feel tone deaf to me and a bit wtf - it's one kid for one evening - the GM had other one for the night.

If you are finding all these trip away stressful speak up and do fewer going forward - it seems like a solveable problem to me.

to many, other people's lives, compared to their own, may seem idyllic.

@T1002 is unhappy, end of.

It's so easy to judge because our circumstances may not be equivalent.

What should she do? Just suck it up because other people may be envious and could only dream of her "privilege"?!!

eta; to emphasise

Most people with jobs and young kids don’t get a whole day to themselves a week.

Those trips will be nice only if you like to go. If you are not for that many you need to say it and arrange to other arrangements.
Your sister has a point in the sense that you can do what most can't and some would love to do, but that means nothing if you don't like them.
For me the reality check is the fact that you don't want the current trip situation and that needs solving.

@whitewineandsun maybe she has legitimate reasons for taking it slow. I still don't understand why that makes her privileged?