Feeling defensive, but is she right that I need a reality check here?

What you are describing is a first world problem.

Take less breaks away and share more of the care for DD.

Perhaps your sis has greater issues than yours and it has come ut in this way (her reaction)

What ‘struggles’ are you referring to? Your life sounds lovely. Enjoy it and speak up if something is stressing you out.

Holidays stress me out too, I know most people love them but I find they take a toll on me.

Are your diamond shoes to tight!

Most people don't, OP. Most people are either 24/7 caregivers or working and then coming home from work and then looking after the DC.

I don't think the majority of mothers with young dc work full time?

Sending hugs..

Most people don't, OP. Most people are either 24/7 caregivers or working and then coming home from work and then looking after the DC.

I think this may be a bit of a blinkered view that is irritating your sister. You do have a full on life, but this is the reality for most people and some with further money stresses on top of the hectic schedule.

Do you know many other parents with little ones? It does sound a bit like you had this child not realising what it means in terms of commitment.

I agree with your sister.

Can you clarify what does your typical week look like? I’m honestly struggling to understand what’s bothering you so much.

As for your sister, are her circumstances less fortunate than yours? I’d probably struggle to sympathise too.

Most people with at least one child certainly do not get one day a week to themselves!

I think you are getting very harsh responses OP - I can’t think of many people that would want to go on a family trip where they have to work half of it, and then their partner work the other half.

i’d rather stay at home.

Just to prepare you for when she is older, working out the school summer holidays is often pretty hard.

At 3, it can be a real mission to go on holiday for what feels like a while, definitely in terms of the packing, but even as to what can be enjoyable if you're in a strange house and bedrooms without the things around you that you are used to and the chance to have other people in the mix like nursery friends. You will be ok for your 3 days, and her Dad's days, but if it is relaxing, it will be more of a bonus and not a given. A cliche, but also, the time when they're little does go fast, so don't stress or be too hard on making anything amazing, it usually just happens.

lol @ thinking parents get time to themselves....😂

imagine having a kid and then whining about how much you have to look after them lol

Your sister should perhaps not have fallen out with you about it but I am guessing it's not the first time you complained and you probably have a privileged life compared to others. Having £1k a month to spend should make it easier to entertain your DC.

Not sure what you mean about it being difficult after the child was born but so what?! How long are you going to use that as an excuse for?!

I think you are being unreasonable because I think many mums end up doing more of the childcare (rightly or wrongly) so that's not unusual plus you've said you have time to yourself on a Saturday and why should you be able to manage your own (one) child alone for three days out of 8??

Single Mum here. Two kids, two different school runs, no days to myself, various clubs in the evening - so no real evenings to myself. Juggle my own finances.

Would love more holidays. £100 from ex would be heaven let alone £1000.

very happy to swap?

being serious though, do you think you might be suffering from depression? 3 days looking after your child can feel like a mountain to climb if you’re feeling low.

I think that you are getting a harsher response than is necessary here.
Yes you are in a good position financially but that comes with a greater degree of child responsibility and a much greater degree of mental load, prepping for holidays, packing etc. This responsibility is just as weighty whether or not you are financially comfortable.
And looking after children on holiday is more stressful than at home especially if you are having to be out of the accommodation to let your partner work.
Your partner sounds very generous in many ways but possibly hasn’t caught up with you in appreciating the changes that come with children. Little babies are quite portable and can exist alongside your life, 3 year olds not so much, they need to be amused, entertained and fed. Holidays need to be child friendly.
As you work through bringing your lives together you need to really prioritise communication and honesty.

He looks after your DD one day a week, which is more than most mothers of three-year-olds get, and he pays for childcare. He's working.

Why shouldn't a father who is away half of the week want to spend time with his dc?

You have had some harsh responses on here! It is a natural human reaction to compare our lives to other peoples, particularly if you are having a hard time. Maybe your sister is struggling and when you describe your worries, she has reacted. If we were all being really fair, we would understand that everyones lives are different and that just because at certain points our lives may seem worse than others, it is always incomparable. There will always be people better or worse off than you. I went through a horrible time a few years ago, I was driven out of my home and had to move in with my parents with my DD. There still would have been people whose lives were far worse! We should be able to listen without judgement and give advice without comparing to our own. In reality of course we are human beings and that is what Counsellors are for!

Without knowing your sisters home life it’s difficult to say if she overreacted.
I will say that my DH works 6 days a week, I work part time and I do most of the default parenting.
We both have to work the amount we do in order to do the things that we want to do for our children, clubs etc Any childcare not covered by school hours is paid for and Sundays are our family day.
I never have a day off to just please myself and neither does my DH.
You are coming across as a little brattish if you are comparing what you do to many people out there, because your lifestyle sounds pretty nice.
Maybe suggest to your DP that you don’t go away so much if you find it a struggle with the constant packing, although packing for yourself and 1 DC should be a dream.
You should be able to have a moan to your sister, but equally if close you should fully expect her to tell you if you’re being a twit, mine certainly would and vice versa.
Lots of people struggle with parenthood regardless how long they’ve been together, so I don’t think that time of being unsettled means that it should colour everything going forward.
Maybe a time to have a think about what really works for you as a family, count your blessings and resolve any areas that aren’t quite what you’d like them to be.

BS on the whole thing BS the whole post.
There ive said it.

@CatHairEveryWhereNow the OP definitely needs to cut down on the trips. I just don't buy into the narrative that because she has flexi work & good pay that she can't find parenting a struggle.

And I would advise her to chat with her sister & see what's going on.

Brat.

Luckily for you OP, don’t think you actually know what struggling is.

OP, you got yourself into a less-than-ideal situation that sounds as if it's playing out reasonably well. Your DP is involved and generous with his money. He looks after your DD one day a week, which is more than most mothers of three-year-olds get, and he pays for childcare. He's working. Every month or two he takes you and your daughter on trips. I really can't see what's not to like, frankly: I think there are a lot of mothers who'd regard this as little short of heaven. A man who's involved and there, but not there all the time.

So I'm afraid you sound a bit of a nightmare. I'm team Sister. Get a grip and start appreciating all that you have, not whinging about packing. As if packing to go to Norfolk is a huge deal: you can buy anything you need when you're there if you forget it.