Feeling defensive, but is she right that I need a reality check here?

How do you cope!!!!

This - OP This is the most selfish self centre post l read for a long time, totally ungrateful brat

I know comparison is the thief of joy but jeez I would’ve loved your lifestyle. I was a sahm mum to 3 including 1 severely disabled. I’m now retired but they’re still living at home which I wouldn’t change but when is it I get time to myself please ?! Luckily after 34 years (?!) we finally have a wonderful respite carer, so hopefully soon !

A lot are - my DH is a chef, I’m solo parenting every weekend! He gets 2 days off during the week where he looks after our toddler & I’m working. A full day to myself a week with no work or childcare sounds blissful!!

Look, parenting is hard. Solo parenting is harder - but the balance you have here means he can provide more financially, with you taking on more of the childcare.

Take less trips if it’s causing stress (I don’t know any mums who successfully delegate the packing!) and see there’s money to pay for a cleaner to ease your load.

This thread would make a great contraception. Who would have kids - it sounds like a total misery - why do we do it?

My DP and I have two young kids and 2 dogs (our choice of course). An average Monday - Friday we get 9pm - 10pm to ourselves. The rest of the time we are either working, sorting kids or sorting the house. Once every 2-3 weeks one of us will have a night out with friends.

The kids both have activities at the weekend (think swimming, gym, sports clubs etc) so we usually spend most weekends taking a child each to activities and then having either a morning or afternoon as a family.

I can assure you we do not get time to ourselves! We are lucky to have 3 sets of grandparents locally so they have the kids now and again and we get to have a date night or day out together but you do seem to have a lot of time to yourself and trips away for someone with a young child.

And yes. Yes they are. Who do you think does it for them 🤣

I assure you OP, most mums don’t get time to themselves. I live with DH, we have two children, we both work and have a dog. Unless you count my commute to work as time to myself, then I am never alone, and something always needs doing.

I think perhaps you need to adjust your expectations of adult life.

This

Wait until your child is in school and has a block of 6 weeks' holidays - all day every day together unless you sort childcare! Honestly, most parents of young kids barely get to manage a couple of hours for themselves per weekend, so a whole day is a gift!

MOST PARENTS ARE DOING IT ALL WEEK MA. WE DO IT ALL WEEK MA.
As a mom to a toddler and baby, I'll tell you It's okay to feel frustrated, it's very okay to feel tired.
It's okay to want to rant, but to be honest, you're very privileged, appreciate the privilege and enjoy the stressful days, kids grow really fast, your LO will not always depend on you like this, so savour the moments. That's what I tell myself.
And before you rant to people around you next time, try and rant to your diary or AI😂🤣 the response will amuse you and make you evaluate your frustrations again and language it better should you need to share with someone.

Many people are struggling, many want the life you have, they can't say it. So when you go to them to rant, they will most likely feel you're mocking them. Just deal with wisdom.

Take some hugs

I could be wrong but reading OP posts it sounds as if her DD is an inconvenience,.why have a child then, was it just to keep a wealthy man.

Surely the upside of all these holidays is there’s no housework or cooking, yes it can be hard work being away with children but you can pop into a cafe for lunch, paid for by her father, find a playground and a coffee, go to the aquarium or whatever kid friendly activities there are in the place you are visiting.

I have been able to afford one holiday in the last 8 years with my DS, none for myself, it was a road trip, staying in various caravan parks over ten nights. Last summer holidays, I still couldn’t afford a holiday so stayed home and treated us to takeaway dinners for a few days a week, that was my respite from parenting as I work full time, have no family here (live abroad and single parent) and was completely exhausted.

i understand the exhausting feeling of being the only parent, constantly entertaining and being engaged with your child, but at 3, they are pretty easy to entertain.

if you travel so frequently, surely packing is easy, she isn’t a baby, so just needs clothes and a few small toys.

Why not enjoy the time with your child.doing stuff together and visiting places.make memories you will never get the time back.you say you have been away four times this year “and it’s on me to pack” there are only three of you.what I would give to go away four times a year,I would be happy to pack.your husband gives you a grand a month,and you seem the most miserable person.

Talk about first world problems....🙄

That must've been so incredibly tough for you......but that doesn't mean that other people cant sometimes have a moan
...it's human nature. I don't think she's saying she's got it harder than anyone else.....I think she knows she's got it easy in some ways..... she's just having a good ol' moan which is necessary for pretty much everyone that has kids...regardless of circumstances. It shouldn't be a competition about who's got it harder lol.

I know single parents who have loads of family, sisters, mums, cousins and friends to support them ..... and other people who have unsupportive husbands and few family around and even less friends so it doesn't always stand to reason that single parents have it harder. Im not saying that's you, just pointing out that there are all sorts of different scenarios

But you're not doing it all week, are you?

What hours is she in nursery? Every day? And you dont do it on a Sat or Sun either...

What do you think single parents do? Put them in a cupboard and take them out when they feel like it! My kids dad turned his back and we never saw him again, unsupportive mother/family, I was completely alone. You know what, you just get on and deal with it! 24/7 never got a break for 20 odd years

Don’t you get a break when your DD is in bed and when she naps. I get that some days can be full on but she’s your daughter, enjoy her, she won’t be young for ever. Plan things to do with her on the days you have her on your own, but keep it low key and flexible. I was always on my own with my child right from the start and never had any breaks. It was hard at times but I loved it. To be honest I don’t understand what you’re finding stressful about it - could you elaborate (sorry if you have already - I haven’t had time to rtft)

Erm single/lone parent here. I'm doing it all on my own all day, every day, 365 days a year! The odd day here & there she'll stay the night at my sister's. Orher than that it's ALL on me. Please get a reality check!

What is your sister’s life like?

You need to grow up. You have a child, you don't get free time...You sister is right...

I would love one day a week to myself!! But why can’t DP take the time off at home and just do local activities?

Erm, parents don’t get time to themselves. Especially when kids are young. It’s a fact and one of the hardest things about becoming a parent. Haven’t you seen the memes about a parent’s weekend? (Clearing up, park visit, arts and crafts, doing the washing, birthday parties, tantrums and then you’re back at work?) welcome to parenthood!

Does your DC have anything wrong with them? Struggling to work out how it’s a struggle to look after a 3 year old by yourself?