Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Seriously thinking about leaving the UK

564 replies

Tanyasfootspa · 11/07/2025 08:15

I’m not sure when the turning point was, but DH and I have hit a wall. The DC are both at university now, and for the first time in a long time, we’re thinking seriously about leaving the UK. The only thing stopping us is wanting to be close to potential future grandchildren.

It just doesn’t feel like the same country anymore. Everything seems to be falling apart — the NHS, education, transport, basic services — and yet at the same time, there’s this growing mindset that the government should step in and fix every personal problem. I’m all for supporting people who genuinely need help, but it’s frustrating seeing how much personal responsibility has gone out the window. It feels like no one’s expected to stand on their own two feet anymore.

We’ve worked hard our whole lives, paid our taxes, and honestly, it feels like we’re constantly penalised for it. Meanwhile, the cost of living is insane, our quality of life is slipping, and every time we turn on the news, it’s just more chaos or excuses.

We’ve started looking at options — maybe Canada, or somewhere in Europe (though Brexit makes that harder). We don’t expect a perfect life anywhere, but we want to live somewhere that still feels like it’s moving forward, not falling apart.

Has anyone else made the move once the kids were grown up? Did it help? Are we just burned out, or is this how others are feeling too?

Would really love to hear your honest experiences.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
ChildFreeAndOhSoHappy · 14/08/2025 14:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I'll look forward to your post whinging about how your taxes keep going up and your children have no opportunities bc the govt has no way to fill the void from all the money lost after people like me went abroad and moved their companies abroad. I'll be sitting on a beach with my computer while you are drowning in debt in a country that is imploding around you. Stay and get fucked :)

Emilysmum90 · 14/08/2025 14:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ChildFreeAndOhSoHappy · 14/08/2025 14:33

Emilysmum90 · 14/08/2025 14:29

I already did upthread. 🙄 Giving specific examples in Europe, the US, Canada and New Zealand. Please do try again to read properly.

As if I dont have better things to do than read through 30 threads to find nonsense backed up by no actual experience?

I asked you what makes the UK so great, you said it's not a war torn country, that's all I need. OK, the UK is better than Syria, you got me, def worth staying here. 🙄

Emilysmum90 · 14/08/2025 14:29

ChildFreeAndOhSoHappy · 14/08/2025 14:13

Hah, I wasn't asking what is so good about the UK compared to Afghanistan or Syria, sure it's better than a war torn country, but that is a super low bar so that may answer my question for me already. I was asking what is so good about the UK compared to other developed, western countries which aren't currently at war. Everything you have said is available in the US, Europe, Australia, Japan, Australia, etc etc, many of which don't have super low salaries in relation to cost of living and tax, privatised trains which cost 10 times what they do in other countries, crumbling water infrastructure that is not being addressed, no caps on electric bills, an unsustainable welfare system and shitty, low quality high cost housing. Please do try again.

I already did upthread. 🙄 Giving specific examples in Europe, the US, Canada and New Zealand. Please do try again to read properly.

EasternStandard · 14/08/2025 14:28

ChildFreeAndOhSoHappy · 14/08/2025 14:18

Not entirely true. You get more for your tax but there are also countries with tax incentives for those in higher demand, higher skilled fields Portugal for example has the NHR 2.0. 20% flat tax for 10 years. Sounds muuuuch more appealing than 45% tax in the UK with the same services available.

That is much lower. Some countries use tax to attract skilled people.

ChildFreeAndOhSoHappy · 14/08/2025 14:23

NebulousWhistler · 17/07/2025 10:40

I think we will probably leave when the DC finish school/start university. Thinking Singapore for a few years. Clean, safe, low tax, good weather (I love the heat/humidity weirdly!), could transfer with my company.
Then retire to southern Europe, likely Mallorca/Ibiza (have EU passports).

It’s a few years away yet but that’s my current thinking. YOLO etc. But not naive enough to think every other country is a panacea either.

We lived in Singapore for a while, it was a lot of fun. Just an FYI though, it's a very much live to work environment vs the other way around, do be prepared for long ass hours and high expenses, however they actually compensate in relation to the high cost of living unlike the UK so that will prob be fine.

ChildFreeAndOhSoHappy · 14/08/2025 14:18

Crikeyalmighty · 14/08/2025 11:31

Anyone mentioning the tax burden is going to have a shock if they go virtually anywhere in EU -

Not entirely true. You get more for your tax but there are also countries with tax incentives for those in higher demand, higher skilled fields Portugal for example has the NHR 2.0. 20% flat tax for 10 years. Sounds muuuuch more appealing than 45% tax in the UK with the same services available.

ChildFreeAndOhSoHappy · 14/08/2025 14:13

Emilysmum90 · 14/08/2025 11:00

Well for starters I can put my kids to bed this evening with full tummies and without the fear of a bomb coming through the roof overnight, which is not the case for many thousands around the world tonight.

If any of us get seriously ill we can see a doctor that same night. OK we'll be waiting for some time but we would be seen, helped and given medicine if needed. Again, see above.

If we can't afford to put food on the table, or my kids need additional support at school, or my parents need assessing for elderly care, or we lost our home and had nowhere safe for our toddler to sleep, there are services/networks/avenues that can help. Again, see above. Not all countries can say the same including some extremely wealthy ones.

I'm far from a bloody patriot but i genuinely don't know how anyone can look at the news atm and complain the UK is hell on earth.

Hah, I wasn't asking what is so good about the UK compared to Afghanistan or Syria, sure it's better than a war torn country, but that is a super low bar so that may answer my question for me already. I was asking what is so good about the UK compared to other developed, western countries which aren't currently at war. Everything you have said is available in the US, Europe, Australia, Japan, Australia, etc etc, many of which don't have super low salaries in relation to cost of living and tax, privatised trains which cost 10 times what they do in other countries, crumbling water infrastructure that is not being addressed, no caps on electric bills, an unsustainable welfare system and shitty, low quality high cost housing. Please do try again.

Alexandra2001 · 14/08/2025 13:38

nearlylovemyusername · 14/08/2025 13:17

These are fair points for average Joe, but the people chatting about leaving UK are the wealthier / higher earning ones. Those on benefits don't consider leaving.

So the question is if life is better for these high earners in the UK under Labour or elsewhere.

We have some very temporary reprieve with Trump, because the usual destination for high potentials would be US, it's now not attractive for a lot of people, but with anticipated IHT/gift taxes changes this might be the last nail in the coffin.

What changes in IHT/Gifting? i had no idea we had had the Autumn statement..... can't imagine changing the 7 year rule is going to raise much money.

Is this yet another scare story being pushed by the right? after cash ISAs proved to be false, as did changes to CT rates pre election

More Doom and Gloom.....

nearlylovemyusername · 14/08/2025 13:17

These are fair points for average Joe, but the people chatting about leaving UK are the wealthier / higher earning ones. Those on benefits don't consider leaving.

So the question is if life is better for these high earners in the UK under Labour or elsewhere.

We have some very temporary reprieve with Trump, because the usual destination for high potentials would be US, it's now not attractive for a lot of people, but with anticipated IHT/gift taxes changes this might be the last nail in the coffin.

Crikeyalmighty · 14/08/2025 13:16

@Emilysmum90 I don’t disagree with what you say by the way, thing is though everyone’s position is different and a lot of the issues you mention are at the lower and lower middle end of earning world wide. It may be OP doesn’t need to work, or can use ‘nomad visa ‘ as they have earnings that don’t need their physical presence and work for themselves - housing wise — it’s not that difficult if you can afford ‘higher end’ and are renting - we had no problems getting a very nice house in Copenhagen, but then we were paying around £2600 a month , my friends in Netherlands had had no issues at £3k a month - it’s the 1400 1 bed flats that’s more of an issue - I’m not saying this is fine and dandy at these prices but this may be pertinent to OP - you can still buy a perfectly nice done up house in France for 150k euros in many parts that aren’t in middle of a city etc . Paid for health is the norm in many places and you factor it in .

Unfortunately jobs/health/housing all far more of a biggie if you need to work for others and cost is a big part of it - that may not be the OPs position - so I was just responding to her specifics.

Emilysmum90 · 14/08/2025 11:43

Crikeyalmighty · 14/08/2025 11:13

@Emilysmum90 but you can do that in Netherlands, Spain, Germany, Denmark, France , depending ‘if’ you have the right to reside or ability to obtain right to reside - many other places - the choice isn’t UK or Syria .

Ffs I'm not saying it's the UK vs Syria, Gaza, Ukraine, Sudan or wherever.

Spain's unemployment rate is currently 11% and Finland's is 9%. UK's is about 4.5%. Nobody in the Canaries has got anywhere to live and they're protesting in the streets about it. So it's not all sunshine and roses in Europe either atm, which is actually pretty irrelevant because most of us now do not have the right to reside there (and I didn't vote for that shitshow BTW)

My boss lives in the USA and is currently working full time at the same time as undergoing chemotherapy. She spends most days feeling horrendous and battling through, but she has no choice because not working = no cancer treatment and she'll die. My cousin is in Canada and has resigned herself to never being a homeowner because property prices are insane and young people are emigrating out of New Zealand in droves for better work opportunities elsewhere.

Constantly thinking the grass is greener is so damaging, it's exactly what led to Brexit and I just wish people would really read a bit more about other countries before thinking they're all shiny and perfect which is absolutely nowhere in 2025.

Crikeyalmighty · 14/08/2025 11:40

Although in many places you get far more covered off for your higher tax - certainly in Copenhagen the childcare is cheap, even for babies - no Council tax, no NI as we know it ( rolled into tax) - utilities were cheaper ( about 20% cheaper ) - I think problem here is we have high tax if you factor in NI too, yet poor services and one reason is we have far too many who either aren’t paying tax or NI at all, or there isa need to top up poor wages due to high rented housing costs , council tax etc - lots of couples not both working due to high childcare prices - the expectation in Scandinavia isn’t SAHMs is my experience or a bit of part time!! So household incomes are higher on the whole. UK has created its own particular issues and a viscious circle through a lack of social housing, and currently a lack of international investment in business due to restrictions around Brexit - and far too much trying to appease those who don’t contribute be they very rich or the opposite end of the spectrum because of the rise of Farage etc - I wouldn’t invest here unless it was something very UK specific -

Crikeyalmighty · 14/08/2025 11:31

Anyone mentioning the tax burden is going to have a shock if they go virtually anywhere in EU -

Crikeyalmighty · 14/08/2025 11:13

@Emilysmum90 but you can do that in Netherlands, Spain, Germany, Denmark, France , depending ‘if’ you have the right to reside or ability to obtain right to reside - many other places - the choice isn’t UK or Syria .

Emilysmum90 · 14/08/2025 11:00

ChildFreeAndOhSoHappy · 13/08/2025 01:10

Appreciate what exactly? Please tell me what is so good about the UK that makes the high taxes, crumbling infrastructure, services and housing market so totally worth staying here?

Well for starters I can put my kids to bed this evening with full tummies and without the fear of a bomb coming through the roof overnight, which is not the case for many thousands around the world tonight.

If any of us get seriously ill we can see a doctor that same night. OK we'll be waiting for some time but we would be seen, helped and given medicine if needed. Again, see above.

If we can't afford to put food on the table, or my kids need additional support at school, or my parents need assessing for elderly care, or we lost our home and had nowhere safe for our toddler to sleep, there are services/networks/avenues that can help. Again, see above. Not all countries can say the same including some extremely wealthy ones.

I'm far from a bloody patriot but i genuinely don't know how anyone can look at the news atm and complain the UK is hell on earth.

LBFseBrom · 13/08/2025 21:31

ChildFreeAndOhSoHappy · 13/08/2025 01:10

Appreciate what exactly? Please tell me what is so good about the UK that makes the high taxes, crumbling infrastructure, services and housing market so totally worth staying here?

I like it here and wouldn't want to live anywhere else. We've had many crises, including recessions, housing problems, unemployment and goodness knows what before, it's nothing new. So have and do other countries. Life is ups and downs, we make the most of the ups and weather the downs. We are a lot more fortunate that many. I could go abroad and maybe have a better lifestyle economically and a bigger house but the chances are in a few years that country would be in crisis.

It's pleasant here and it's home.

ChildFreeAndOhSoHappy · 13/08/2025 01:16

CooCooCachoo · 13/07/2025 23:54

Consider that it’s not the entitled, negative, unproductive brits that are leaving….

Exactly. That is really not the immigrant mentality, wherever they come from. It really takes a certain kind of person to able to be able to just pick up and do that and laziness or being unproductive are rarely one of their character traits.

ChildFreeAndOhSoHappy · 13/08/2025 01:10

Swiftie1878 · 11/07/2025 10:34

You should go. You don’t appreciate what you have here, but you’ll soon appreciate it when you are gone.
Good luck!

Appreciate what exactly? Please tell me what is so good about the UK that makes the high taxes, crumbling infrastructure, services and housing market so totally worth staying here?

ChildFreeAndOhSoHappy · 13/08/2025 01:08

JockTamsonsBairns · 11/07/2025 10:09

Where have churches turned into mosques?

Excuse my ignorance. I'm in rural North Yorkshire, so haven't come across anything like this.

Yeah, aren't most churches turned into food courts or flats, like they should be?

ChildFreeAndOhSoHappy · 13/08/2025 00:55

No kids and still in our 30s but we are also looking at leaving. Would you qualify for a golden visa somewhere? Would you be working still? What kind of situation are you looking for? I only ask bc I've done a lot of research on the subject recently and lived in 4 diff countries in 4 diff parts of the world so I'm a seasoned expat.

CandidLurker · 20/07/2025 19:39

TheignT · 20/07/2025 19:02

No you said you were here for 4 months. Bit late to change it when you are challenged. As for rude I think it's rude to be running down the UK while using our NHS to get vaccinations for your child that you can't get where you actually live. Maybe the QOL wouldn't be so good without the protection those vaccinations gave.

Sick of people knocking life here.

Yes as you say, my understanding of “ordinarily resident” would be that one’s main residence (or only residence for most people!) is in the UK. When someone actually lives abroad and only come for a visit, be that 4 months or 6 months, my understanding is that they don’t/shouldn’t qualify. But it’s down to the NHS to tighten up the processes around access as at the moment it’s clearly too easy for people who actually live overseas to access it. And maybe the “qualification” requirements are not as clear as they should be.

TheignT · 20/07/2025 19:02

Angelil · 20/07/2025 09:54

I was living and working in the UK at the time, yes. I was there continuously for 6 months (from July to December, starting work in September). My sister had nothing to do with my access to care (and for what it's worth I actually accessed nothing for myself - I only registered my small child in case something went wrong with him.) and it is utterly offensive to suggest that she did. Doctors never intervene in medical matters pertaining to their own family; they would be breaking various professional codes of practice if they did. I worked and paid tax during the time when I was in the UK, so I consider your comment to be unfounded and rude.

Edited

No you said you were here for 4 months. Bit late to change it when you are challenged. As for rude I think it's rude to be running down the UK while using our NHS to get vaccinations for your child that you can't get where you actually live. Maybe the QOL wouldn't be so good without the protection those vaccinations gave.

Sick of people knocking life here.

Angelil · 20/07/2025 09:54

TheignT · 18/07/2025 12:18

Were you and your child actually entitled to NHS care when you don't live here? I suppose the NHS would have more money if people didn't arrive here and expect treatment that isn't available in the country where they live.

Just looked it up and no you weren't entitled as you aren't settled here after living abroad for 17 years. How nice for you that you took advantage of our broken system.

I was living and working in the UK at the time, yes. I was there continuously for 6 months (from July to December, starting work in September). My sister had nothing to do with my access to care (and for what it's worth I actually accessed nothing for myself - I only registered my small child in case something went wrong with him.) and it is utterly offensive to suggest that she did. Doctors never intervene in medical matters pertaining to their own family; they would be breaking various professional codes of practice if they did. I worked and paid tax during the time when I was in the UK, so I consider your comment to be unfounded and rude.

NebulousWhistler · 18/07/2025 16:01

Hollyhobbi · 18/07/2025 12:22

From which EU country?

I don’t think it matters, as far as I am aware it gives us the right to live in any of them. Could be wrong though as have never investigated it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread