Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Seriously thinking about leaving the UK

564 replies

Tanyasfootspa · 11/07/2025 08:15

I’m not sure when the turning point was, but DH and I have hit a wall. The DC are both at university now, and for the first time in a long time, we’re thinking seriously about leaving the UK. The only thing stopping us is wanting to be close to potential future grandchildren.

It just doesn’t feel like the same country anymore. Everything seems to be falling apart — the NHS, education, transport, basic services — and yet at the same time, there’s this growing mindset that the government should step in and fix every personal problem. I’m all for supporting people who genuinely need help, but it’s frustrating seeing how much personal responsibility has gone out the window. It feels like no one’s expected to stand on their own two feet anymore.

We’ve worked hard our whole lives, paid our taxes, and honestly, it feels like we’re constantly penalised for it. Meanwhile, the cost of living is insane, our quality of life is slipping, and every time we turn on the news, it’s just more chaos or excuses.

We’ve started looking at options — maybe Canada, or somewhere in Europe (though Brexit makes that harder). We don’t expect a perfect life anywhere, but we want to live somewhere that still feels like it’s moving forward, not falling apart.

Has anyone else made the move once the kids were grown up? Did it help? Are we just burned out, or is this how others are feeling too?

Would really love to hear your honest experiences.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Mrsbloggz · 12/07/2025 13:27

Jennps · 12/07/2025 12:10

This country is cooked, OP. Get you while you still can.

It’s full of lazy, beggar mentality takers with no concept of how money works and that you need the rich and high net worth individuals to stay and keep them in their free loading largesse.

They are so thick that they gleefully wave the rich goodbye, while squealing that there is no money left.

The level of economic and fiscal ignorance is staggering. Let them learn the hard way.

Edited

What a load of absolute horseshit.

Jennps · 12/07/2025 12:10

This country is cooked, OP. Get you while you still can.

It’s full of lazy, beggar mentality takers with no concept of how money works and that you need the rich and high net worth individuals to stay and keep them in their free loading largesse.

They are so thick that they gleefully wave the rich goodbye, while squealing that there is no money left.

The level of economic and fiscal ignorance is staggering. Let them learn the hard way.

EdisinBurgh · 12/07/2025 12:04

Cantabulous · 12/07/2025 10:08

Switzerland is so closed as a society though, it’s not for everyone

Switzerland is not in the European Union so Brexit makes zero difference to a British person’s chances of emigrating there (it’s as hard as it ever was)

Ps, Switzerland takes in the fourth highest number of refugees of any country in Europe per capita. Ten years ago it took the most, proportionally speaking. It also does a good job of making them good Swiss citizens and integrating them well into their society.

A big difference is high levels of personal responsibility of Swiss people to contribute to their villages, towns and cities being great places to live. They’re not passive. Britain can’t be improved only by the government or the few who have economic power. It’s about community power too. Everyone has to be motivated to help improve things.

Source: https://asylumineurope.org/reports/country/switzerland/overview-main-changes-previous-report-update/

User32459 · 12/07/2025 11:23

DecoratingDiva · 12/07/2025 10:57

I’m assuming you are saying this as some sort of “rage-bait” and if you are it has worked.

You really think a whole family living in one hotel room in a shitty hotel due for demolition (yes, the one near me that housed asylum seekers has now gone) with no access to cooking facilities is luxury?

If the place they are parked provides food they get less than a tenner a week to live on, again not exactly luxury and you can be sure the food they get is much more school dinner than Michelin star.

I really hope you never find yourself in a situation where a bit of compassion from your fellow humans goes a long way.

Macron and France blame the UK for the problem because it's seen as an El Dorado for migrants. They get free accommodation, their food paid for, an allowance and then benefits galore once they're accepted and top of the social housing list.

It might not be luxury, but we've got loads of our own out on the street who get nothing.

roaringmouse · 12/07/2025 11:20

crackofdoom · 11/07/2025 10:06

You do not have Sharia law anywhere in London, or anywhere else in the UK for that matter. Don't be so bloody ridiculous.

This is not accurate: There are Sharia councils/tribunals operating throughout the UK. These groups don’t have any official legal power and can’t overrule British law, but they still hold a lot of influence. It’s well known that they carry on behind the scenes, and authorities choose not to intervene.

User32459 · 12/07/2025 11:18

I have worked with a lot of ‘asylum seekers’ and 99% of them are economic migrants

Of course they are, but the question is what skills do they have to become a productive member of society once we grant them status? Or will they just stay on benefits or deliver takeaways?

If they had skills they wouldn't need to break in, they could easily get legal status in Europe.

User32459 · 12/07/2025 11:13

People's solution to fundamental problems is increase taxes.

We've already got millions out of work because work doesn't pay. Tax people more and more will just not bother.

DecoratingDiva · 12/07/2025 10:57

User32459 · 11/07/2025 22:22

Leave and then come back on a boat and live the life of luxury in a hotel with free meals and be waited on hand and foot.

Edited

I’m assuming you are saying this as some sort of “rage-bait” and if you are it has worked.

You really think a whole family living in one hotel room in a shitty hotel due for demolition (yes, the one near me that housed asylum seekers has now gone) with no access to cooking facilities is luxury?

If the place they are parked provides food they get less than a tenner a week to live on, again not exactly luxury and you can be sure the food they get is much more school dinner than Michelin star.

I really hope you never find yourself in a situation where a bit of compassion from your fellow humans goes a long way.

cardibach · 12/07/2025 10:33

estrogone · 12/07/2025 06:52

Are you saying that based on your anecdotal experience, that 99% of asylum seekers are economic migrants? If you are, just give over - stop spouting absolute nonsense.

Quite. Utter nonsense.
Plus the OP wants to be an economic migrant, doesn’t she? And several others in the thread…

Absentmindedsmile · 12/07/2025 10:10

Cantabulous · 12/07/2025 10:08

Switzerland is so closed as a society though, it’s not for everyone

Also Brexit made no difference whatsoever. Switzerland is not in the EU.

Cantabulous · 12/07/2025 10:08

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 11/07/2025 15:04

I would have recommended Switzerland (before Brexit). Especially if OP already speaks German or French (or is a fast language learner)...

Edited

Switzerland is so closed as a society though, it’s not for everyone

Inexplicable3Bed · 12/07/2025 09:52

Brayndrayn · 12/07/2025 06:50

I have worked with a lot of ‘asylum seekers’ and 99% of them are economic migrants

And what were the conditions in the luxury hotels you visited? How was the food? How much money did they have to spend a week?

Confrontayshunme · 12/07/2025 09:49

Here is the real question: on what basis will you move to another country? Do you have EU or Canadian family or passports? If not, you need to get a skilled job in order to work and settle. Free movement to and from the EU has ended, and you can't just go and love there because you feel like a change. You need a visa.

Nevertooearlyforsanta · 12/07/2025 09:47

I seriously hope this is irony!

Nevertooearlyforsanta · 12/07/2025 09:46

Oh no all the foreigners coming here (although you didn’t say that I suspect that’s what you mean) so your solution, take your ungrateful entitled self to another country and expect to be able to live the life you want based on other peoples tax contributions.

SumUp · 12/07/2025 09:37

User32459 · 12/07/2025 08:44

Most people simply can't afford to be taxed more and many rely on tax credits even with a salary. If you're a young person most of your wages go on rent and bills as it is and you can't save for a house. The rich can afford it, but tax them high and they'll just fuck off to Dubai or somewhere anyway where they won't be taxed much.

And just throwing more money at things doesn't make them more efficient.

For starters, stop paying billions and billions of tax payers money every year to put illegal migrants in hotels. Importing endless migrants who in most cases just add to the benefits bill. Stop bankrupting ourselves with net zero. We're destroying ourselves and we're about to get the same white flight we've had from our cities, out of the country altogether.

Edited

It’s this kind of emotional and fact free rhetoric that makes reasonable debate involving the public more difficult.

echt · 12/07/2025 09:31

Miley23 · 12/07/2025 09:10

We lived there 25 years ago and the young people certainly left to do their ' overseas experience ' for a few years because NZ is so geographically isolated, but people told us that they did generally come home after being away for a few years. Obviously this could have changed a lot now .We loved living there ( four and a half years) but financially just could not make it work.

Edited

Yes, it has changed according to this fairly recent article.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/may/09/leaving-new-zealand-record-departure-numbers

‘Hollowing out’: New Zealand grapples with an uncertain future as record numbers leave

Surge of departures – mostly fleeing a weak economy – fuels concern over the longer-term impact on the country as some small towns scramble for survival

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/may/09/leaving-new-zealand-record-departure-numbers

twilightcafe · 12/07/2025 09:17

Summerartwitch · 12/07/2025 09:08

''@eqpi4t2hbsnktd · Yesterday 09:48
The UK. I live in East London. We have Sharia law in some parts round here already. The schools close for Eid etc.. there are literally no British shops on the high street...
Before you say "move" I was born here.''

What a lot of nonsense.

I lived in East London for 20 years and what you are describing is just Reform type propaganda, ie a lot of hot air to create division.

I will bet that 'schools close for Eid' on an inset day.

Churches have 'turned into mosques' because... 🥁 so few people attend church these days. So they close.

Yes - some a
high streets are overwhelmingly Asian (and thriving, unlike high streets elsewhere). If this bothers you so much, get on a bus/tube/train 10 minutes elsewhere.

Miley23 · 12/07/2025 09:10

IcedPurple · 12/07/2025 09:01

NZ has the highest rate of emigration among 'first world' countries. The young and educated leave in huge numbers - often to Australia and the UK - because there just aren't the opportunities for them in their home country.

We lived there 25 years ago and the young people certainly left to do their ' overseas experience ' for a few years because NZ is so geographically isolated, but people told us that they did generally come home after being away for a few years. Obviously this could have changed a lot now .We loved living there ( four and a half years) but financially just could not make it work.

Summerartwitch · 12/07/2025 09:08

''@eqpi4t2hbsnktd · Yesterday 09:48
The UK. I live in East London. We have Sharia law in some parts round here already. The schools close for Eid etc.. there are literally no British shops on the high street...
Before you say "move" I was born here.''

What a lot of nonsense.

I lived in East London for 20 years and what you are describing is just Reform type propaganda, ie a lot of hot air to create division.

IcedPurple · 12/07/2025 09:01

Miley23 · 12/07/2025 08:49

My two elder sons were born in NZ and I do wonder if they could go and work there. I keep looking on their skills list to see if their jobs would be in demand. Do you mind me asking what your son is doing. One of mine is in health and safety ( construction sites etc ).

Edited

NZ has the highest rate of emigration among 'first world' countries. The young and educated leave in huge numbers - often to Australia and the UK - because there just aren't the opportunities for them in their home country.

User32459 · 12/07/2025 08:52

MoominUnderWater · 11/07/2025 11:41

Funny isn’t it. Dd thinks it’s shit here in the U.K. and is desperate to move to Canada. Her Canadian bf isn’t overly impressed with Canada and wants to move here. His sister has already moved here. Grass is not always greener.

Decades and decades of uber-liberalism has destroyed the west. You can have liberal policies but you can't run a country off just liberalism and the globalist order without wrecking it, as we're now seeing.

Scandinavia is still a good standard of living if you can avoid the bomb cities of Sweden. And unlike our soft arses, they're actually tackling immigration (and integration) now in a big way.

Miley23 · 12/07/2025 08:49

Suusue · 11/07/2025 22:18

My 28 year old son went to New Zealand last November and has now applied for residency. Got a good job within a couple of weeks and loves it there. As much as we all miss him I would not wish him back here. Go for it.

My two elder sons were born in NZ and I do wonder if they could go and work there. I keep looking on their skills list to see if their jobs would be in demand. Do you mind me asking what your son is doing. One of mine is in health and safety ( construction sites etc ).

User32459 · 12/07/2025 08:44

SumUp · 11/07/2025 09:54

Unfortunately, it feels as though the majority in the UK want Scandinavian levels of service whilst paying Dubai levels of tax!

Most people simply can't afford to be taxed more and many rely on tax credits even with a salary. If you're a young person most of your wages go on rent and bills as it is and you can't save for a house. The rich can afford it, but tax them high and they'll just fuck off to Dubai or somewhere anyway where they won't be taxed much.

And just throwing more money at things doesn't make them more efficient.

For starters, stop paying billions and billions of tax payers money every year to put illegal migrants in hotels. Importing endless migrants who in most cases just add to the benefits bill. Stop bankrupting ourselves with net zero. We're destroying ourselves and we're about to get the same white flight we've had from our cities, out of the country altogether.

IcedPurple · 12/07/2025 08:21

SouthernNights59 · 12/07/2025 02:30

As far as I'm aware the UK also has a massive housing crisis and a soaring cost of living, and I've just seen Australia on a list of best places to live to avoid climate change. The weather itself would sell me on Australia over the UK, along with the fact that Australians are more upbeat.

Yup. Lots of shit things about the UK and lots of wonderful things about Oz. I never for a moment suggested otherwise.

My point is that nowhere is a 'utopia' and nearly all Western countries are dealing with similar issues right now. Australia is far from paradise on earth, however wonderful it might seem just passing through.