I’ve always had a real problem with people who are tight with money. Not just those who are openly stingy, but the ones where you only really notice it after a whil, the ones who never quite offer, who always seem to benefit from others’ generosity but rarely reciprocate. It’s not about being careful or living within your means, which I completely respect. It’s when someone’s so obsessed with saving a few quid that it starts to affect everyone around them. I find it hard to relax around people like that, and honestly, I don’t want them in my life.
There’s a massive difference between being responsible with money and being petty. I’m all for shopping around, getting a good deal, and not wasting cash. I do it myself. But when someone’s tight, it’s a different thing altogether. I remember being on a group trip where we’d all agreed to split the costs evenly—accommodation, petrol, food, the lot. There was one bloke who, every single time, had some reason why he shouldn’t pay the full share. He’d say, “Oh, I didn’t eat breakfast this morning,” or “I didn’t use as much hot water,” or he’d disappear when it was time to get the next round in the pub. At first, you think nothing of it, but after a few days, you realise everyone else is picking up the slack. It’s not just awkward, it’s disrespectful.
What really gets me is when people act like being tight is something to be proud of. I’ve met people who seem to think it’s clever to get away with paying less, almost like it’s a game. I once knew a guy who would go on about how he managed to get out of paying his share for a friend’s stag do, or how he “saved” money by never chipping in for communal stuff, and he’d say it with a smug grin, as if we were all supposed to be impressed. I just find it cringeworthy and, if I’m honest, a bit pathetic.
For me, it’s a deal breaker. If I meet someone—whether it’s a mate or a potential partner—and I get even a hint of that tightness, it puts me right off. I’d go as far as to say it’s almost as unattractive as being a serial cheat. Both traits are about putting yourself first, about a lack of generosity and basic decency. I’ve been on dates where someone hasn’t even offered to split the bill, or has made a big show of only paying for exactly what they ordered, down to the last penny. It’s not about the money, it’s about the attitude behind it.
Sometimes I wonder whether this sort of behaviour is just in people, or if they pick it up from somewhere. Is it nature or nurture? I’ve met people who grew up with nothing and are the most generous you’ll ever meet, and others who had everything and are tighter than a drum. I think some people are just wired that way, and I do think it’s linked to a kind of greed—a belief that the world owes them, or that they’re somehow clever for keeping hold of every penny.
There’s a growing sense of entitlement in society, and I think this is just another side of it.
It’s funny how society treats it, too. If you’re reckless with money, you get called out. If you’re a cheat or lazy, people don’t hold back. But if you’re greedy, if you’re tight to the point of making everyone else uncomfortable, it’s almost seen as a harmless quirk. I’ve heard people laugh about how tight their husband or wife is—“Oh, he won’t let me turn the heating on unless it’s minus five outside!”—and I just think, why are you putting up with that? It’s not funny, it’s miserable.
Look, I’m not perfect. I’ve got plenty of flaws, but being tight isn’t one of them. I’d like to think I’m generous, and I value that in other people. Generosity isn’t about splashing the cash or being showy, it’s about being fair and not counting every penny. Life’s too short to be petty about money. If you’re responsible, good for you. But if you’re tight, don’t expect me to stick around.
AIBU?