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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be super anxious at going on hols without teens.

86 replies

JustAnotherManicMomday · 10/07/2025 23:08

We have 2 teen sons 15 and 18. Both will be staying home alone for the 2 weeks. Grandparents on both sides are no more than 10 minutes by car. Both will keep to themselves. Fridge and freezer full. No worrying about parties etc as they are not very social. In fact if I was home I would only really see them at meal times as spend their time gaming.

They will be checking in on them frequently and we will be calling daily. 2 week cruise as honeymoon due to marriage last year. Aibu to be filed with dread at leaving them that long. Previously done 3 nights with no issues. In the event of an emergency I will book a flight from nearest airport back home. DH thinks everything will be fine but I have been so anxious from when he booked it and now its almost here I'm just so unsure.

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Original poster
JustAnotherManicMomday · 12/07/2025 00:16

I think with the GPS once they know they are doing OK the may visit a bit less its more to make sure no drama to begin with and that our house is still standing. They worry their not adult enough but for you to know they are you have to treat them as adults to begin with. At 16 my mum left myself and my 14 year old brother for a week because they knew I was more than capable. Im 99.9% sure they will be perfectly fine even without supervision but its always good to know they have support in an emergency. They know to keep doors locked when ever in the house. We never leave it unlocked anyway.

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Moveoverdarlin · 11/07/2025 18:23

Yeah I’d be worried about leaving a 15 year old for two weeks too. So much so I wouldn’t dream of doing it.

Personally I would get one set of grandparents to stay the first week and the other to stay the second week.

bellamorgan · 11/07/2025 18:20

HonoriaBulstrode · 11/07/2025 17:30

And let’s face it. I’m sure GPS will be around cooking for them and doing their washing and your DCs will quite frankly be loving life and spoilt!

I'd be pissed off if I was the 18 yo and had gps checking in 'several times a day' and monitoring what I was eating.

Haha yes

Thinking back to my running my own home at 17. If my parents or grandparents had descended with my portion of broccoli for the day it would have gone straight in the bin or the neighbours rabbit.

Either old enough to be left as an adult or not. Checking veggie intake is not old enough or just out right interfering.

You either trust the adult enough to look after the child or you don’t.

HonoriaBulstrode · 11/07/2025 17:30

And let’s face it. I’m sure GPS will be around cooking for them and doing their washing and your DCs will quite frankly be loving life and spoilt!

I'd be pissed off if I was the 18 yo and had gps checking in 'several times a day' and monitoring what I was eating.

foodymcfoodface · 11/07/2025 17:25

Didn’t 16 yr olds used to be chucked out the house and made to work? Assuming they’re responsible and sensible i think it’s fine!

I’d be more worried about the dog…

EuclidianGeometryFan · 11/07/2025 17:18

Good Lord I am truly shocked by the number of people on here saying they would not leave a 15 year old at home for two weeks.
Even with an 18 year old to keep them company.
Even with them being highly, highly unlikely to throw a wild party and wreck the place as that's not in their personalities.
Even with two sets of GP keeping an eye.

No wonder this generation of young adults are absolutely fucked up mentally and completely unable to cope with adult life.

Where on earth have parents got this terrible fear and over-protectiveness from?
It is so, so unhealthy.

itsgettingweird · 11/07/2025 17:09

They aren’t being left alone though.

you’ve said yourself that GPs will drop in daily. That even if you were home they wouldn’t come down all day and engage.

I think 15 and 18 in the situation you describe is fine. I can understand why you’re worried but it’s an adult and a teen who will have daily visits from other competent adults.

And let’s face it. I’m sure GPS will be around cooking for them and doing their washing and your DCs will quite frankly be loving life and spoilt!

Pippatpip · 11/07/2025 17:04

They will be fine. Two weeks of eating crap (they will just do Kust Eat a lot) is not going to kill them. They may appreciate you more when you get back. There may well be a ton of washing! With GP so near, it is fine. Have a lovely time and stop worrying.

Esperanza25 · 11/07/2025 16:45

Well, my view is that they’ll be absolutely fine, especially as grandparents are very close by. I’d go and enjoy your holiday.

Zanatdy · 11/07/2025 16:21

It’s fine, GP are nearby.

Original poster
JustAnotherManicMomday · 11/07/2025 16:20

@crumblingschools eldest just finished college. They will go on a couple days out with GPS if they want too. They will play video games, walk the dog, eat sleep and chill out. Eldest is on a gap until his final year at college so not working at the moment as we prefer he concentrates on studies and enjoys his final summer. Their not very social and are responsible.

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Treviarpelli · 11/07/2025 15:55

They’ll be fine. So long as they get on ok it sounds absolutely fine and by far the best solution for your 15 Year old. You can’t all not holiday because he’s not comfortable.
Hope you have a fantastic time, relax and enjoy yourselves

Original poster
JustAnotherManicMomday · 11/07/2025 15:54

@Skybluepinky Have you not read my other posts? If we take him, he will sit in a room do nothing the entire time and not eat. We tried that last year and it was a disaster. This was our chance to have a honeymoon because taking him with us would mean we may as well not go. It would not be a holiday as he cannot tolerate new places, food etc. His fine in his normal environment but NOT in another country.

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MandarinsAreNotTheOnlyFruit · 11/07/2025 15:54

It really does depend on your (and your husband’s) judgement, and the child. You know them best. Two of my children would have been absolutely fine being left at 15. They get themselves ready each day, do their own washing, cook, and keep their rooms today. One had a part time job at 15, and was quite self-sufficient. On the other hand, the eldest would have two weeks worth of plates and mugs piling up in their room and would be recycling pants.

WasherWoman25 · 11/07/2025 15:16

We left DS 17 (almost 18) home for two weeks last year for a cruise. I got nervous as it got near due to being at sea some days but we’d left him for 7 days before and had three sets of grandparents around for any help he needed. All was fine in the end.

We had a two week break earlier in the year and younger DD was going to stay home with DS again with lots of family round for support but in the end she went to a family member Mon - Fri and came home on the weekends but again all was completely fine.

onawave · 11/07/2025 15:15

You know them, you’re happy they are both sensible and they have grandparents nearby.
when I was 16 my parents took my sister on holiday for 2 weeks, I don’t want to go. my aunt lived nearby and checked in on my every few days. I don’t feel like I was abandoned, house was still standing, if not particularly tidy when they got back. All I did was revise and play on my games console.

crumblingschools · 11/07/2025 15:11

What will they be doing in the 2 weeks you are away? Does 18yo socialise, work etc?

HardworkSendHelp · 11/07/2025 15:10

JustAnotherManicMomday · 11/07/2025 10:36

GPS will be on and out several times a day. They will be making sure they are eating, checking up on them, staying for a couple hours and if the boys feel they want them over night they will stay here or can stay with them. It's not like we have no backup plan and as I say, one phone call and I'm on the first flight home.

Mine are exactly the same age. Go on your honeymoon. Enjoy yourself. Your eldest is an adult. 15 year will be grand with his ADULT brother and his Grandparents calling in.

Comedycook · 11/07/2025 15:09

I'd be full of dread too...mine are 14/17. I can't imagine leaving them to to it for two weeks in a years time. My biggest fears would be them forgetting to turn off electrical appliances and not remembering to lock up doors and windows etc. They are well behaved but absent minded.

And despite loving the idea of a cruise..it's really not a great idea if you need to get home quickly.

Skybluepinky · 11/07/2025 15:07

I wouldn’t leave a 15 year old, can you not change your booking and go on a family holiday?

Original poster
JustAnotherManicMomday · 11/07/2025 15:05

He is Autistic but he is fully able to communicate and comprehend the situation. He does not like crowds or new places and is very anxious with foods he eats. His brother knows how to prep his foods the way he likes as do GPS. They also have a budget for the occasional takeaway. On the condition they eat healthily which will be monitored by GPS as well. On holiday he would sit in the room and not move eating nothing. Last year he litterally wouldn't touch a thing we flew home early because of it. This year his home with all his safe foods snacks etc in his own environment. His actually looking forward to it.

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Gemmawemma9 · 11/07/2025 15:00

The 18 year old is legally an adult and not a worry at all. The 15 year old is more a grey area.

bellamorgan · 11/07/2025 14:57

All the babying on here. I lived with now dh at 17. People who wouldn’t even leave an actual adult bonkers.

The 15 year old is down to his you feel. The adult child is old enough to look after them providing you don’t think they will fight and such.

beetr00 · 11/07/2025 14:51

@JustAnotherManicMomday

"Aibu to be filed with dread" no, not at all.

But the boys will have a blast, as will you. 🤣

Enjoy your honeymoon 👰🏼

Original poster
JustAnotherManicMomday · 11/07/2025 14:47

Smoke alarms, carbon monoxide alarm, cctv on the outside of the property. Live on a quiet culture de sac and get on with neighbours who would also jump in if an emergency. Would also be leaving emergency cash and credit card (with a limit) should they need anything.

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