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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not want to move in with partner

79 replies

SameOldMe · 10/07/2025 22:45

I have 3 children from a previous relationship, live in a council house and I work full time so I'm independent (with help from universal credit).
New partner wants me to move into his house and give up the council house.
The problem is that I would then lose my UC so he would be financially responsible for children that are not his.
i would have no security as I've given up my home, and would need to rely on him financially.
My house is small and don't have the space for him to move in.
Am I unreasonable to not move in and stay in relationship where we live separately? We holiday together and do a lot together.

OP posts:
FatFilledTrottyPuss · 10/07/2025 22:54

You can be long term with him once your children have grown up and gained more independence. Right now you’d be mad to risk your own security by moving into someone else’s house. If he can’t wait for you then he isn’t right for you.

Original poster
SameOldMe · 10/07/2025 22:50

Pieandchips999 · 10/07/2025 22:48

Don't do it. You have everything to lose from this is it goes wrong and he doesn't. If you have to ask on a forum whether it's a bad idea to move in with someone it nearly always is

That's true but I do want to be with him long term, and feel like I can't truly commit long term until we live together.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 10/07/2025 22:50

You would be an absolute fool to move in with him. Just say no thanks for all the reasons you’ve cited.

Pieandchips999 · 10/07/2025 22:48

Don't do it. You have everything to lose from this is it goes wrong and he doesn't. If you have to ask on a forum whether it's a bad idea to move in with someone it nearly always is