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AIBU?

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Original poster

Invisible at 60.

160 replies

canyouseemyhousefromhere · 10/07/2025 18:16

Not sure if this is the right place but here goes….
As a 60+ woman I find it sad to think of myself as invisible. When I was in my teens, 20s, 30s, 40s and later I would have lots of attention from men. I am happily married to a lovely attentive man but when I’m out on my own I am completely invisible. Am I the only one who has just realised I’m old and undesirable?

OP posts:
Ohsotiredme · 10/07/2025 18:27

5128gap · 10/07/2025 18:25

Why must the two be mutually exclusive? The OP can find a great deal of happiness in her marriage and still get pleasure from the knowledge other men find her physically pleasing. They're two entirely different things.

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Its really sad when women need men's " attention" to validate them.

Createausername1970 · 10/07/2025 18:26

I am 62 and am totally the opposite - I am very happy being invisible.

I am happy with my life, my family, my friends and my work. I am happy with the decisions I take. I no longer feel I have to please other people or be bothered about what they think.

I find it very freeing - like wearing a floaty skirt with no pants 😂

I turned 60 and thought "bollox to everyone else, I have a finite length of time in front of me now, I am just going to please me and mine".

CarpetKnees · 10/07/2025 18:26

I don't feel invisible at 60, but then, I never sought "attention from men" during previous decades. Hmm

This seems somewhat at odd with you being happily married.

Ohsotiredme · 10/07/2025 18:25

I am happily married to a lovely attentive man

Well you are in a lot happier position than a lot of women. Why are you looking for attention from random men?

I think being invisible when it comes to customer service in shops would have been a valid point if you'd made it. But obviously thats not an issue for you .

5128gap · 10/07/2025 18:25

CandidFawn · 10/07/2025 18:19

If you were “happily married” you wouldn’t have written this post. Just be honest and say you wish to be desired by men outside of your marriage.

Why must the two be mutually exclusive? The OP can find a great deal of happiness in her marriage and still get pleasure from the knowledge other men find her physically pleasing. They're two entirely different things.

Namechangedasouting987 · 10/07/2025 18:24

No OP, you are not the only one..
I totally empathise.

NotAnotherOne1234 · 10/07/2025 18:24

As you age, desirability is not just measured by looks but by character, intellect, energy, drive, charisma..

Dangermoo · 10/07/2025 18:21

It should all be about how you look after yourself, surely?

AramintaBottersnike · 10/07/2025 18:21

Why do you want attention from other men and for them to desire you if you're happily married?

CandidFawn · 10/07/2025 18:19

If you were “happily married” you wouldn’t have written this post. Just be honest and say you wish to be desired by men outside of your marriage.

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