Invisible at 60.

There have been a few smug comments, but the majority have not been IMO.
I do understand the feeling. It requires making an adjustment in your expectations and learning to appreciate the benefits of it. OP will probably get there in time.

I never feel invisible, except in Apple shops.

Heading for 70, and I'm at the top of my game in my job, people seek my advice (some even pay for it!) and I have a lovely circle of friends.

Apple shops are my bête noir though. They are a necessary evil - I am always ignored in them, which is ironic as I usually go in to spend a lot of dosh on kit, but am overlooked in favour of boys toying with phones they can't afford.

So I started lifting stuff up and basically aiming - while pretending to be clueless - to set off their alarms. I also give them feedback about their ageism when they serve me. I ask why I was ignored for 10 minutes.

I have got happier as I've got older. But my secret is that I have a job which is hugely rewarding and I've never judged my self-worth by my attractiveness to men. They can go jump - men my age are mostly useless. Well, most men of any age are pretty useless. So pleased to be single.

Not my experience. Never been harassed, ogled, chatted up - was always spoken to like a human being, not an object. Hasn't changed.

I'm 51 and not yet invisible. Maybe it'll come at 60. I don't know how I'll feel about it but I largely suspect I'll be happy that men who choose to spend time in my company are doing so because they actually like me and my company and not because they're hoping to get into my knickers at some point!

But it's a very long time since I've cared whether random men find me attractive or not tbh.

Except when I was younger (14-24) I have done everything to be invisible ; no heels, not showing cleavage or too much legs, practical , functional but not sexy clothes. No make up because I can't be arsed. And a lot of confidence so unwanted sollicitors feel intimidated.

Some people are helpfully saying that but others have been quite insulting I think, about @canyouseemyhousefromhere's perceived need for validation. It seems some pp are so busy being smug that they don't have the same need that they can't wait to have a dig and run down another woman for her dependence on the male gaze.

Personally I get it. We're taught from a very early age that it's important that we look good and are attractive to the opposite sex, and at times in our lives that is important, when looking for a partner. Being told you are good looking by men or women feels good. It's also a reality that being attractive comes with benefits in the workplace, for example. People treat you differently. It's also surprising to me how quickly I have gone from being 19 with my life ahead of me to middle aged and although I don't feel invisible yet it's probably right around the corner and I don't relish it. So if you're still reading OP, you're not the only one.

Pregnancy has a similar effect. I remember a guy in a van stopping at the lights just behind where i was walking on the path, he leant out the window to make a lewd comment at me, so I turned around revealing a huge 8 month pregnant stomach (I tend to carry all up front in a huge protrusion, and still somehow have a waist from behind). He was so shocked he actually apologised 🤣 pregnancy is not sexy.

I'm 47 now, and I still get the odd second look, it tends to be guys in the 55-65 bracket though. The thing I find a bit sad is that I can't comfortably flirt anymore, it feels a bit wrong like I might come across as a desperate cougar (yuck), so I've curtailed that. It's all a bit depressing.

I'm glad to hear you've got passed the chemo, I hope your health is returning with your hair.

How? It's impossible to feel at peace with perverts harassing you all the time.

I know the feeling. And it isn't attention from men I miss, its being taken seriously as a person with a brain. Its like w woman turns 60 and we become inconsequential.

I am 60 and invisible too and it's fan-fucking-tastic. Happily my invisibility coincides with the scales falling from my eyes and the realisation that most men are utter shitbags.

Poo faced misogynist!!!! 😂😂😂Quote of the year!!!!!!!!!!

@PrissyGalore lol. Good point.

True, but you can always have that peace and invisibility if you choose to, even when young.

Oh stop it. That’s rubbish. It’s not that she wants other men it’s that she sees attention from other men as an indication that she is still a desirable, vibrant and noticeable person.

And that’s valid. Especially for someone who has always had attention. No matter what your ‘assets’ are beit status, money, looks, intelligence, great hair, good legs, a great singing voice, steady hands …. They become things we identify with and when and if they go away we feel bad

Why would you need to do this? You are happily married! There must be some reason you posted, some reason you are missing male attention?

@pinkglitter12

"I read somewhere that its warped behaviour the way people treat young and beautiful women and actually that peace and invisibility that happens as you get older is how it should be."

This is absolutely right.

Bloody hell, I’m older than you OP but the very last thing I want is men looking at me and giving me attention. Yuk.

To me it’s not being invisible to the opposite sex, it’s being invisible in shops, on public transport and in groups. Maybe it’s because I’m greyer and physically less noticeable but it’s a bit of a downer.

That's not what people are saying, quite the opposite. They are saying you should use it as a means to be liberated from caring about the opinions of others. Then you will be very much out of your shell. It's caring too much whether or not you are pleasing to others that keeps you imprisoned.

I was fairly invisible even in my 20s as I was not particularly attractive. In my 50s I am far more confident and chat to all sorts of people. I am happily married so I am not bothered about other men and never have been if I didn't know them. I have never needed validation from anyone.
My DD is in her 20s and very attractive. She often wishes she was invisible as men are a real nuisance.

Ha ha better than the old perm or helmet hair!

I’m 62 and very happily married and if I’m honest, I like the fact I get different attention. It’s more respectful. I’m very lucky in that my dh still finds me very attractive-even my increasingly wonky teeth. I look in the mirror and see the changes but think I look good for 62. I have a little pang when I think about my old gorgeous figure as I now have a bit of a disfiguring condition so no longer wear bikinis. However, I can still hike mountains and dance-at my age I appreciate more what I can do rather than how I look. We were out walking with my dd who is very lovely and a car went past hooting and men making gestures at her. I don’t miss that kind of thing at all.

Aint that the truth. With profile pictures of themselves standing beside muscle cars and other signifiers of alleged virility, sucking their guts in. Pathetic.

I get a great deal of excitement when a shop assistant or a bartender notices me! And I'm happily married too 😄

I am early 50s. I don’t feel invisible. I still get attention from men, just obviously not the young ones. I find lots of men the same age as me still flirt with me. I am also happily married, but ofc you can still enjoy a flirt and attention.

I recently lost weight and I would say that I didn’t get much or any attention when so was overweight. I think it’s a weight thing and not an age thing. Not that that’s great either.