Invisible at 60.

They don’t in my experience. Maybe it’s a regional thing (I’m 60 and have been greying/grey since my early 50s).

Exactly. Plus I don't get why a woman over fifty would want a young man anyway. I don't understand women my age who enthuse over 25 year olds, they look like babies to me.

Yeah most men younger than 50ish won’t find you sexually desirable. So what. Why does that make you invisible?

I think that is just people being thoughtless. I find that young women are worse for that than young men! I hear you, though, it is really irritating but I'm not sure it is anything to do with us getting older. It is young people being glaikit (as we say in Scotland!)

@ScupperedbytheSea
I barged through the middle of a large group of youths a few days ago. They were completely blocking the pavement and seemed oblivious to passers by. Not sure I'd have done it without the help of my dog though.

I'm certainly starting to feel invisible now into my 40s. I don't mind too much, but the amount of younger people (often men) that just walk into me on pavements gives me an absolute rage. I kind of enjoy barging past people now, often walking three abreast, rather than moving out the way. They are quite often shocked to find me there at all. If I'm feeling really pissy I throw in a nice passive aggressive "oh I am sorry, did you expect me to step into the road?"

I explained this to my DH (in his 50s) and he said he felt exactly the same, just had no idea it was a 'thing' us women have been talking about for years.

Why do you need the validation of men to feel visible. Work on your confidence and validate yourself. Im 46 never more alive or myself. Its nothing to do with attention from men.

I feel that the vibe, body language, eye contact, voice and language used can really work for or against people. I give off positivity, been told this and it means people speak to me. This is men and women. So the invisibility doesn’t happen to me but invisibility really being discussed initially is the fact that men don’t hit on the poster anymore and that they are not openly looking at her as an object of desire.

I have always preferred to think that people are interested in what is in between my ears as opposed to my legs.

@LadyCrumb and @WideawakeinSanDiego I am totally grey as allergic to hair dye and am 59 and don’t have a problem getting noticed in shops. I have heard this before, I’m wondering if it’s a regional difference or is it the individual.

This.

I understand the sexual attraction fades from an evolution point of view but why do shop assistants ignore older customers?

Older people tend to have more disposable income so shops need to address their business model.

Seems odd to me OP. I had my fair share when younger and really don't care, actually rather like, than men don't 'pay attention' to me like that now.

I'm 48. Can't say I've noticed a change tbh. I'm from a place where any random person will happily yak on with any other random person though. Male, female, young, old, doesn't matter.

I don't feel old, undesirable or invisible at 61, I'm happy to be in the background, I've always hated attention, stems from way back. still get the odd flirty guy that knows I'm married. I just ignore the behaviour, make out I'm too thick to even notice they're creepy

I’m averagely attractive, I think, and I feel like I’ve been as good as invisible to men on the street, with a few exceptions, since my late 20s. You must be really gorgeous and/or dress up a lot if you were getting attention into your 40s.

Same for me, I feel more visible in every way as I get older. Part of the community more than ever, truly part of the adult world where people talk to you.
and don’t assume the male attention stops! It’s worse than ever for me in my mid 40s and my mum was still getting propositioned in her 70s. Men will always make women feel like a piece of meat. The only time it’s been less was when I was fat but even then they are there. Just fuck off! (I’m a lesbian now can you tell 🤣)

This seems odd. I have plenty of people talk to me, have made many friends in my 50s in a new town, have a great social life. I do have quite social hobbies but it absolutely isn’t in my experience that people stop seeing you if you are older/less slim.

To everyone! I used to be very slim and attractive and therefore popular.
Nowadays School mums have no interest in me, Mums at my kids clubs no interest, my ex husband couldn’t give a fuck about me. family and friends all comfortable in thier couples/families so barely see me.
I’ve joined dating sites and barely get a single ‘like’… it’s fucking miserable

Invisible how? To whom?

I’m 40, separated, and invisible. No sympathy from me OP when you get to cuddle up with your lovely attentive husband!

Very good! 👏

I think women not blessed with good looks (and I include myself) find the ageing process much easier. I’ve always been invisible to men - DH was the only exception (and it was in spite of, not because of, my appearance iykwim).

It’s easy to say “why do you need male attention?” if it’s something that you have had the luxury to take or leave. Nights out with girlfriends in my 20’s often meant me either ending the night sitting by myself - often being studiously ignored by the last remaining single bloke - or sneaking off home alone. I have never been chatted up. Now that I am in my 40’s, everyone else is in the same boat, and I feel much less like an undateable freak.

I agree. When I go out I make a bit of an effort too and of course it's nice to be complimented by my husband and friends, but as long as I'm happy with how I look I really don't care what other people think.

But the OP lamented that she once received "lots of attention from men" and she now realises she's "undesirable".

She also said she's happily married so I don't understand why she wants to appear desirable to other men. It was a genuine question.

Obviously I know that not everyone thinks in the same way, but being happily married myself I genuinely don't care whether or not men pay me attention or find me desirable. That's why I asked. Doesn't look as though the OP is coming back though so I won't find out.

Precisely. I look better (to my own eyes) than I did when I was twenty years younger. The sort of attention that men give young women has very little to do with their physical appearance and everything to do with their nubility. I am not saying that I ignored by men now as that would be a lie, but it isn't as relentless as it was many years ago and for that I can only be grateful. And I still don't understand why the OP cares about being attractive to anyone other than her husband. That seems a bit needy and greedy to me.

I’m not sure how not feeling invisible or not wanting male attention translates to not wanting to look your best. As you say, you do that for yourself. Other people’s reaction is irrelevant.

Same here. I'm not invisible, I'm treated like a human being and that's how I treat others. Happy to chat and interact with people I meet as I go about my day.

Totally agree with this:)