I interrupt MIL selfish monologues with yes I know, you told me this before.

There is a parent at a group I attend who does this. At a recent picnic I noticed that hardly anyone spoke to him. Everyone has learnt if you give him any engagement he will then monologue at you non stop. I have got to the stage where I don’t care if he thinks I am rude or not I avoid talking to him and will do my best to avoid him!

Interesting! Perhaps if more DILs did similar with their MIL as you do with your sons GF they woud have a better relationship. That is obviously if the relationship is strained.

Yes I bet the son is really cheesed off, instead of one woman dominating his event he's got two of them.

I find this type of behaviour very demanding and very draining. I usually find a way to interrupt and don’t make myself available for it.

We stopped inviting our in-laws to celebrations and instead do separate side time limited celebration just so our main celebration was ruined by their behaviour, could you try something like that? That way the ficus is on them for the side celebration because the person has already been celebrated properly.

So out pops the narc word. There are people who sit tight lipped throughout a whole evening & there are people who could talk the hind legs of a donkey despite repeatedly sharing their stories. It depends whether you can cope with them & interrupt etc without being rude & bullying them. I know plenty of people who are like OPs mil & generally I find them good company rather than sit next to someone who never shares stories.

I used to cope with my dire father in law by letting his words wash over me, like waves on a beach. I also used to remember that we’d be going home soon, and time was continually passing as he was yabbering on and the time for us to leave was getting closer all the time. Quite meditative really.

It is sharing experiences and I expect older people do forget they have told the story before.

it is very difficult when they tell the same stories every day though. It’s hard to fake interest when you’ve heard it every day for the past year.

The key word here is sharing. What OP describes is not sharing, that implies a reciprocal situation. It's not conversation either, because that too requires give and take. Unless you've had a family member who is similar, it's difficult to imagine the way this takes over gatherings.

In comparison, if I was at dinner with a group and was mid flow and someone said to me, Gold, we've all heard this one before! I wouldn't feel bullied, or upset in the slightest. I'd feel more perturbed if I thought there were people sitting around me silently enduring me yabbering on about the same thing and not saying anything.

No, this isn't the kind of behaviour the OP is talking about and it's disingenuous to interchange individuals who are elderly and may be rambling withthose who deliberately dominate conversations with their narcissistic monologues. Two very different situations.

OH has a tendency to talk 'at' people and in long monologues, often things that he's said on previous occasions. When I can see people zoning out, I quickly try and ask them a question to bring them back into a conversation. He'll sometimes reward me with a dirty look! He prides himself on being socially very adept which is funny but I do suspect he's ND (based on a load of other things). If I'm trying to tell him something difficult or worrying, he'll keep trying to turn the conversation back to him and his experiences. I don't think it's meant nastily but can feel a bit hurtful and dismissive.
I don't think it's rude to intervene in these situations, your guests or family will probably be relieved.

Sounds like you did a brilliant job overcoming the challenges you faced. You sound like a lovely person.

That needed a laugh emoji 🤣

It's called sharing similar experiences. There is also the possibility other people in the company haven't heard the story, or she has forgotten she's already mentioned it. Older people like to remind themselves of their youth & sharing it with others no matter how often helps them to empathise & re-live their experiences. I wonder in this instance if it wasn't this it would be something else she does that could be blamed for causing irritation & disharmony. If someone said to me in company 'we've heard this before' I'd feel the person wanted to bully me & deliberately upset me & for no reason so imo yabu

What grounds do you have for saying that the OP is as bad as her MIL? MIL sounds absolutely infuriating, I have no time for people who steamroller over others.

My mum did this sometimes, I'd just tell her TMI.

Had words with dh last week as he butts in when I'm talking with a 'sorry fig,' and still carries on.
I told him he wasn't sorry because he wouldn't do it if he was.

Fortunately one of our friends pulls him up on it too.

my df is like this but i think hes a narc so cant help but turn every conversation to what he wants-ive told him time and again yes ive heard this and he just says well im telling you again

they wont change

If they didn't care they shouldn't have gone to the meal. Mil needs telling every time.

Your mum sounds awful! imagine saying to a child 'if I hadn't had you I would have been more successful than you have ever been!'. That's just cruel.

Narcissistic is a term completely over used on here but to be fair that's exactly how she sounds.

I’d suggest something like “Let’s focus on DS now, it is HIS big day today”. Keep steering the conversation away to another topic again and again.

And, ironically, is pretty rude itself!
(Not bothering to read the op properly but still thinking your opinion is valuable enough to input)

OMG did anybody tell her to stop? That's disgusting!