For asking boyfriend to stick out job for just a few more months

OP I think this is a chance for you to realise you are better trying to buy a property on your own. You are the high earner and the one with the most savings.

He sounds like he is using you and has no real enthusiasm for buying a house with you.

Don't tie yourself up to that man and even if you have to wait a bit longer to buy on your own or if you buy something smaller, you will be better off in the long run.

WTH???? He is grown adult and understands how the mortgage process works so he can stick with it for a few months so all the time and sacrifice spent saving and trying to buy a house doesn't go to waste.

Are you seriously saying it's fine he just quits and throws everything in disarray, they then have to find somewhere to rent, start the whole buying process all over again makes sense? You do realize all that will bring more stress right?

Selfish my ass, he needs to grow up, sometimes we we go through tough periods in life we don't just throw in the towel at every opportunity like a child, he needs to focus on the big picture.

"So she can profit off the free rent"

WTF does that even mean? Isn't he going to benefit from the house they buy together?

@Gemini1992 having said all that I would seriously consider buying a house with someone like this, he comes across as someone who gives up easily and will never have your back when things get tough. He will always take that easy way out.

Of course he should stick it out until October! It's not long at all.
But I wouldn't buy a house with him. You outearn him, you aren't married, he's thinking about messing you around - protect yourself and your money. Buy your own smaller place. He can still live with you if the relationship in salvageable and you can buy together in time.

Don’t buy with him.

The relationship being ‘quite good’ and better than having to date again is the worst reason to stay with him.

Honestly OP detach yourself.

You definitely need a separate lawyer if you don't already have one.

I think you know this is a disaster you are sleep walking into.

Why would he be in profit? Why wouldn't you put on the deeds as tenants in common with you owning 66% of the house and he owns 33% (or whatever percentage share)

This is ESPECIALLY important as you are not married. It will protect your financial investment in the property.

You need to buy your own place - he's showing you that he isn't keen, regardless of what he's saying to you.

You don't sound very compatible to be honest - even if the sale goes ahead, you couod break up in a year and have to sell up.

I’m also finding the “might get sacked or resign” suspicious. Sounds like he knows he’s likely to get pushed and wants to make out that it’s his decision to resign. Otherwise resigning so close to a purchase, never mind without another job lined up, is rather silly.

Do you really want to be tied to him via this purchase? What if he quits right after it goes through, can you cover the mortgage on your own? Would you want to? It sounds like a possible scenario.

If you think he’s worth going into this with I’d say you have to have a conversation and find out if the stress is coming from the risk of getting sacked and not wanting to admit it. But I’d also try to be honest with yourself and think about where you see this relationship heading. Sounds like you’re much more driven than him, which in the long run will make you resentful when he’s potentially spent years riding your coattails and holding you back.

Do you really want to buy a house with him, rather than a smaller place on your own? If you earn twice as much and have 2/3 of the savings there may not be all that much difference in what you court mortgage alone.

if you do go ahead, make sure your deposit is ring fenced and/or that you own a higher % of the house to account for your higher contribution.

You earn twice as much as him ?

buy your own property ! it doesn't have to be a ' house ' you can buy a one bedroom flat by yourself.
do so.

Is the first big project you are undertaking together? And it's already getting painful. Is this how you want everything you decide to do to be, going forward?

Maybe this is the wake-up call you need to see that a future with this guy could be hard work.

I would buy a property by yourself and let him crack on. Doesn’t sound like he is bringing much to the table.

"he can't seem to put things into action. For example before he said he wanted to find a new job. I said have you a CV and he said no and didn't bother to do it! I have to admit I find it very frustrating."

It sounds like this is a pattern op.

Does he generally have motivation/ clear aspirations/ get up and go etc?

If he doesn't that's actually okay, plenty of people feel content with renting and a low earning but also low stress job and life just ticking along. But the question then is whether or not you are both compatible if you are more driven. How would this translate when you're preparing for having kids or already have kids. Are you always going to have to push him to do the things he should know he needs to do by himself.

The fact you earn so much more and are more financially stable is making me wonder if he thinks you'll just be able to cover everything which is concerning. The last thing you want is to work this hard and end up with a cocklodger you need to parent instead of an equal partner. I also agree that you need to speak to a solicitor to ensure the deposit you put down is protected should things go awry.

Do not lock yourself into a mortgage with this man.

Look at it dispassionately, OP. He is not going to give you the stability you crave. He already isn't, is he?

I think your desire for a house of your own and your fear of going back to renting is clouding your judgement. To me, as an outsider, it looks like you are papering over the cracks of an unsatisfactory relationship because you have acquired tunnel vision about becoming a homeowner.

My first thoughts are that "thinks he might get the sack" is him trying to prepare you that he knows he is on track to be fired. Unless he's an overly anxious person, people don't generally think they might be fired for no reason. So sticking it out a few months might not actually be an option.

It's up to you to figure out if it's genuinely an unmanageable situation for him, or if he just hasn't tried hard enough to power through challenges. And if that changes how you feel about committing to this purchase with him. If he knows he's at risk of firing and hasn't bothered with a CV, I would be worried it might be more of the second option, but I don't think we can decide that in a Mumsnet post...

Surely he can stick it out until he finds a new job? IMO, as you are buying a house to quit without a job to go to is irresponsible and shows no commitment to your relationship or shared vision of buying a house.
If he is not prepared to find a new job (CV and effort included), it strikes me he is not a partner I would consider as 'good', in fact I would consider quite lazy.
I have done some horrid jobs before, but it paid the bills...

Tell him to hold out another month or so, look for a new job in Sept, with recruitment time and notice you'll be in September before you know it.

He needs to find another job before he resigns.

I wouldn’t buy a property with someone who isn’t committed to the purchase. He doesn’t sound like he is… quitting a job as the purchase is going through and dragging his feet with the paperwork etc
Can you afford to buy on your own? I’d rather have a little 1-2 bed place that’s all mine than a bigger place with an unwilling partner.
The costs of pulling out might seem high, but they’re nothing compared to costs if you end up splitting and having to sell etc

@Gemini1992 you mention the relationship as ‘quite good’. And you are putting in twice as much in savings as downpayment. I hope you plan on having a Trust Deed reflecting this. But, I’d be considering whether he is as committed as you - and whether ‘quite good’ is enough. It wouldn’t be for me! Take your share of the savings and look to get your own haven, without him.

I think it would be really irresponsible and foolish to quit your job in the months before a house sale but then this makes me wonder why he doesn't feel this as well?

If he really wanted this house he would suck up a few extra months of a hard job, or as a pp says he’d be looking for other solutions that wouldn’t blow up the house purchase.

There are two explanations here 1) he isn’t sure he wants the house, or perhaps the commitment to the relationship

2) he’s actually already been sacked or has reason to think this is imminent

I think you need to ask him more questions about what is going on in his head.