Childless houseguests-AIBU to keep my child quiet and out of the way?

This is insane, stop now. These people no longer stay and your family gets their back

I think the real question is why you agreed to host someone you barely know ?

Slightly boggled about them "not complaining about the noise or the DC so far" like this is some sort of bonus. I hope you ask them to leave if they do!

Your kids have a right to live normally in their home. I think what you’re doing is actually pretty cruel- denied a proper breakfast and not allowed to play. And you sound like an absolute martyr with no coffee until 10am. Guests either accept it’s a family home with all the normal parts of family life or they go to a hotel. And who the hell says yes to an ex colleague they don’t even consider a friend staying, then expects the rest of the family to bend over backwards to accommodate them? Do you generally have people pleasing tendancies, boundary issues and/or trouble saying no? This is so far from normal I think you might actually benefit from some therapy.

@StressedHost

Hell no. It s your house. They know you have kids and you re not a hotel even if you are in a touristy area.

if they “sort of invited themselves” then they suck it up or they jog on.

i would reply “looking forward you, it ll be great fun. Just a friendly reminder that we are a busy household with kids running around 😝🤣🤣 but very happy to get to know your partner and inviting you in our family home”.

that way they know exactly what to expect!

they are friends not the Queen of Sheeba. Dont put yoyrself under pressure. Be generous and attentive as a host but live your life as you would. They need to slot in

I’m childless and would not expect this, but then I would not invite myself to stay with someone I hardly know just to save money on a hotel either.

Absolutely crackers.
I’d be encouraging my child to make as much noise as they want to discourage those freeloaders from visiting again.
You need to stop being such a doormat OP.

They're not friends so you don't owe them anything. It's very nice to offer them a bed for the night, you certainly shouldn't be changing your lifestyle for them. If they want peace till 10am they should book a hotel room.

Absolutely would not be making accommodations for them. Anyone that goes to stay with someone with kids will expect kid noise. Though I think you’re already being over accommodating by letting them stay. A barely known colleague and her unknown boyfriend would not be staying in my house with my children.

Op, without wishing to be rude you're being daft, I'm child free but I don't sleep in until 10 any day unless I'm ill. I wouldn't expect anyone to keep their DC quiet in the morning for me but then I'm not a CF who invites themself to stay at other people's homes

YABU. They knew you had children before they invited themselves to stay.

I’d never expect my hosts to keep their children quiet on my account - and I say that as a childfree person.

If you'd invited them originally or if they were paying I'd agree more with you.

Since they invited themselves and have free accommodation I'd expect them to just fit in with what's convenient to me.

Honestly this. Are you this much of a doormat with everything too?
these people invited themselves, and you’re fighting with your family to please them? Do you have a boundary issue with people pleasing.?

I would not be changing anything and just living normal way with my own family. They want peace they can go to a hotel. I cannot believe you even let them stay when they are not even coming to visit you but are using you as a free accommodation on an touristic area.

You're being bloody ridiculous!!
In this situation I'd not be restricting my child in anyway. Let him behave as he would at any other time.
They invited themselves (what on earth were you thinking??!!)
They are not paying
They don't seem to be doing anything to help
Oh - but they are buying things for their special dietary requirements - too bloody right! I bet you're still cooking it though?

Hopefully some early morning wakeups will see the cancellation of future stays, and be a bit more assertive next time they say they are coming!

I’m with your husband and pretty much everyone else on this thread! Perhaps if your ‘guests’ are disturbed by your children simply following their normal routine, then the cfs won’t be inviting themselves back…

I have people to stay all the time and of course made some accommodations when DC were small, but this is bonkers. They’re not even your friends! Yes, it’s a good thing to teach DC ‘please play a quiet game, we don’t want to wake the whole house’ but this is going above and beyond for a pair of cheeky fuckers!

I hope this is a reverse cos they're a bit cheeky and you and your family have every right to live your life as normal.

“the guests are neither friends nor family….They sort of invited themselves for a few long weekends over the summer, because we live in a quite touristy, but expensive city”

OP, they are CFs and you are being outrageous towards your family. You let these people whom you don’t even know very well come and freeload for not one but “a few” weekends; you deprive yourself of coffee and feed your child biscuits. I suppose you could go the whole hog and book yourself into an Airbnb with your family, lest these unwanted guests should be disturbed, because hell, their needs trump yours in your own home! OP, are you bringing up your child to be a complete and utter doormat? Reasonable adjustments for friends are one thing: allowing your life to be overtaken by people to whom you owe nothing is quite another matter. Get up: make coffee, give your DC his normal breakfast. If your uninvited guests don’t like it, they don’t need to come again.

I’d make as much noise as possible so they never came back. Tbh, I would never have let them impose themselves on me n the first place, what do you get out of this?

You're absolutely nuts! Why let them stay anyway when they're not your friends? Why disrupt the entire house for a couple of CFs?

So we don't have this issue because, with two "spirited" young kids, we only stay with close family and only have close family to stay with us. We just wouldn't host colleagues/vague friends in the way you describe, unless maybe just for an overnight.

We were invited to visit an old friend of my husband's for a big party last summer and we said we'd come for the party but stay in an airbnb nearby. Worth every penny.

I don't inflict my children on others, but I won't have others invading our living space either.

Goodness me. Keeping your child quiet is the least of your worries here. I can’t believe a mere acquaintance has invited herself, imposing on your hospitality for several weekends, and is contributing nothing other than their own special food. Your poor husband having to put up with these strangers in his home.

If you as a family were the ones visiting childless friends in a touristy area, yes, I’d say you should keep the children’s noise down. But THEY are visitors in YOUR home (and it sounds like partially uninvited ones) - your children should be allowed their normal routine.

My view is that guests have a duty to adapt to the routine of the house. If it’s a family home, there will be family noise. Same with a home with lots of pets. If they don’t like it - they don’t invite themselves again.

What on earth are you doing entertaining this?
Your poor husband and child.

What on earth possessed you to agree to this.

Unbelievable.
Contact them and say, no more.

Your poor family.
This is highly abnormal behaviour IMO.