Childless houseguests-AIBU to keep my child quiet and out of the way?

Carry on with your life. I wouldn't have let them stay

I think keeping noise to a minimum early hours is fine, and I would have thought to be encouraged even without guests if you are living in a flat.
But 8am I think is an acceptable time to start your day as normal - 10am is silly, I certainly wouldn't be going wthout breakfast and coffee for anyone!
I think especially in this particular situation where the guest has invited themselves to save money, the ealry starts might make them think twice next time...

I think you need to man up and say 'no' to people who try to treat your home like a free hotel!

It’s quite strange they invited themselves without even really knowing OP ? I wonder if they would ever host Op and her family?

To the pp saying a lie-in is rude, no personally I don’t think them sleeping until 10am is a problem. They’re on holiday and like it or not, Op did accept their request to stay over so it must be expected. I very rarely can sleep until 10am but if I was able to I would!

For all you know they might struggle to get to sleep - like I often do - especially in someone else’s house, so when they do finally get to sleep they just let their body wake up naturally. Or they are just tired.

If I force myself to wake up early and wake up sleep deprived, it can cause issues for the rest of the day.

However, OP you shouldn’t be tiptoeing around them and feeding your kids cookies to avoid disturbing them. That’s well intentioned perhaps but OTT and you’ll eventually resent them if you continue to over-extend yourself in this way.

I was kindly invited to stay with a couple who had toddlers, they were so lovely and had reshuffled sleeping arrangements around to let me have my own room. That was more than enough for me to be comfortable. I didn’t expect their toddlers to keep quiet or for me to be able to play the tv loudly when their kids were sleeping.

I had been working very hard at work plus I was on my period when I tend to be very tired and anaemic and did sleep in later than them some days. I’d eventually wake up to their kids running around and family life going on as usual in their household . Lovely!

Neither of us were being unreasonable. I was happy doing my thing and they were happy doing my thing ! And btw I do not have kids. But I was well aware they had kids when I went to stay - as do your guests.

Btw how do you actually know they like a “quiet house”? I wouldn’t like a host deciding to deliberately wake me up if I was sleeping for the sake of it , but if there is just normal household stuff going on or kids being kids in the morning it’s not an issue for me.

As much as I do like my quiet house , it is nice to be in a bustling household with children sometimes. I’m always quite sad to leave as the kids are so much fun!

Oops didn’t mean to quote the whole Op!

If I’d never met the boyfriend I wouldn’t be letting them stay in my home especially as I have a child. I wouldn’t have agreed to this op. No way would I have tried to keep my child quiet/out the way in their own home. Plus I think you said it’s a flat, this sounds impossible. It sounds like they provide food but what about water/electricity and the effort that you have to work your lives around them. I have a friend that descends on a distant family member and camps on their living room floor with her kids and dh once a year. Despite the family member having a lot of children. Also due to them living in a holiday location but the favour isn’t returned. I wonder how this really sits with the hosts who are still trying to work etc.

Whoa! You sound really nice op, but too nice for your own good.
There are many reasons you might go out of your way for a guest, and these people don't fit any of those reasons.
Be normal. If they don't like it they can pay for their holidays and not be takers.
That would be a win all round.

You say that they invited themselves, OP, but that's not true, is it? They didn't turn up on your doorstep out of the blue and force their way in, ignoring your protests. They suggested they would like to come; you agreed. That is you inviting them. And what's more, you've invited them for yet more visits. I'm also sceptical about how much/little you actually know them. Why do they have your number to ask if they could come if they're people you don't know? How did they get your address? In future, be honest when you post. It might help you to be honest with yourself. You invited them (several times), you're imposing all kinds of inconveniences on your child and husband. If I were your partner, I would be severely pissed off with you and your behaviour.

Just reread & you have even more visits planned.

You have to tell them no surely?

I'm normally try to keep a child quiet until a civilised hour in a flat - but not as late as 10.am. If I had CF guests who had invited themselves - and who should be cooking for you or taking you out for a meal - I'd encourage my child to be noisier than usual to deter them from coming back.

Despite their plans for other visits you can just say "sorry this isnt working for us and we need to cancel further visits".

No sorry we don’t have house guests my child is up early at 6.30 am and we have a noisy bustling household. Happy to meet with you for either a short trip to the park or a coffee but obviously DC is very active.

I would absolutely not keep my child quiet for a person blagging a free room that I didn’t really know but I wouldn’t of put them up in the first place

I doubt they expect hotel style quietness. I think YABU to give this that much thought. Just carry on with your life. If they don't like it, they can always check themselves into a hotel. Your long post is bonkers, sorry

Even if you had invited them it's daft to go to those extremes.

They know you have a young kid don't they?

I'd probably try to keep things quiet for an hour or so if she was up at 6, but I'd have got her breakfast, maybe even used the coffee machine before 10.

Former colleague who you're not even bothered about?

Why did you say yes?

So these people are using you as a free hotel. Not bringing anything to the table or taking you out for a meal and you feel you have to change your way of living. Absolutely no way.

I can understand your desire to give a guest a pleasant time, OP: it's what many of us were brought up to do. But it's quite clear that this pair are using you as a means to have cheap weekend breaks and that's a massive gift you're offering.

No need to shush everyone. They know they're coming to stay in a family home. If they get woken up early, that's the price they pay for not forking out for a hotel room.

If a hotel room in your city would cost them £100 a night, then if I was staying with you I would ensure that I gave gifts (useful gifts: food, wine, restaurant vouchers, some cash in an envelope) to the value of at least £25 a night. Because otherwise you look like a tight bastard. If they're not doing this, don't invite them again. Just say that things are difficult with a noisy small child, you have stuff planned and recommend a reasonably-priced hotel. And if they wheedle, just say no, it's not convenient.

These people are not your friends: you don't have to give them what they want.

I'd be encouraging my child to make as much noise as they liked to irritate these people and ensure that they wanted to leave without coming back again.

Cheeky fuckers. You've got it entirely the wrong way round here.

This! Let your child behave their usual way, it's their house!

Some people you hardly know invited themselves to your small flat so they could sightsee on a budget and save themselves accommodation costs and you are tiptoeing around trying to be the most gracious host ever.

Are you this passive and dismissive of your own needs in every aspect of your life?

They have been cheeky fuckers a bit by inviting themselves but you’ve enabled it and are making yours, your DHs and your DCs time in their own home uncomfortable as a result.

Use your home as normal while they are there and if they don’t like it they won’t come back.

I really really hope they bought you a great host gift and paid their own way with food and consumables.

They invited themselves to stay in the home of children, they get the full experience. Why should you all walk on eggshells or expect your children to be scared to be themselves?
If the wanted lie ins and quietness, then they could have booked somewhere quiet, so it was their choice.
You need to stop wrapping yourself in knots and expect your family to do the same, just to please others.
I agree with your DH wholeheartedly!

No, it's tour childs house, you pay the bills. They invited themselves and they aren't even your good friends or family.
Its your childs home they should not feel uncomfortable in their own home.
They can pay for a hotel if they want peace and quiet.
I would actually be livid if this was even suggested, I can see why you had an argument about it.

DH thinks we owe them nothing, since they invited themselves and were aware that they were going to stay in a household with a young child

Yeah, he's right.
There's no way I'd be feeding children cookies instead of a proper breakfast because some cheeky fuckers invited themselves to stay and wanted a holiday sightseeing in the nice place you live in. If they wanted to be undisturbed until 10 am they should have stayed in a hotel.
I'd also be cancelling the other weekends too. Sorry, cheeky fuckers, it doesn't work for us. When you asked to stay we hadn't really thought through the implications of it. The flat is just too small to have guests and young children and meet everyone's needs. Let me know the next time you're in town and we can meet for a drink. And then if they take the huff, tough. Problem solved.

They are taking the piss and unless you put your foot down and stop this, they will be back again regularly. In the future, only invite people you want to have stay there, remind them you have children who get up at 6.30 am and the flat is small so that means they will be disturbed by normal household noise in the mornings. If you do that, your guests will know what to expect in advance and can stay nearby if they'd prefer it to be quieter.

This is bizarre. These people are freeloaders who are taking advantage of where you live and you are tiptoeing around them? No. Your DH is right.

They chose to visit you, it doesn’t sound like they are even treating you in return? Personally team your dh except I’d add if your child wants to run up and down the hall screaming at 6am that’s on them to suck up, and I’d probably be considering encouraging them to.

You lost me after the first question..no, its my child’s home, guests adapt to us.

As someone without kids - fuck ‘em.

This can't be real surely 😳 in general I actively discourafe loud noises (running/jumping etc) before 8ish just because it's polite for neighbours. I wouldn't change my DCs routine for a guest, invited or otherwise. Its their home. FWIW making cereal for breakfast is quieter or no more noisy than using the bathroom so the cookies until 10am probably a step too far!