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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to still be upset that my birthday night out was a bit ruined?

33 replies

Lilcrazyop · 09/07/2025 23:26

Hi all. My birthday was 2 weeks ago and I had a night out. For the most part it went well but my mood wasn’t there if that makes sense. I had a big knockback the week before and it really put me in a terrible mood that I couldn’t really shake. Something else happened with someone I really care about that left me reeling that night. In the moment I felt thrown away like trash and not good enough. AIBU to still feel sad that my birthday night felt ruined to me? I know I should have not got myself so worked up and should have tried harder to put that knock back to the back of my head. I look back at the photos and videos of that night especially as I film content and I can’t help thinking I was and looked happier last year. I can see the way I was in the videos that I wasn’t happy and I was trying to make myself happy. The past year or so I’ve had bad struggles and I really needed that night to go well. Please talk some sense into me. I know this is first world problems compared to what others are going through.

OP posts:
elfendom1 · 09/07/2025 23:47

you seem to have put too much weight into that one night, maybe built up to it and it didn't go well?; but life is for the moment only, (which by the way I understand but it is hard to learn to live this way, I admire those who can) and so all I can say is just keep moving forward, don't dwell on stuff. Any knocks just keep moving, you'll be ok.

Original poster
Lilcrazyop · 09/07/2025 23:46

Bump

OP posts:
Original poster
Lilcrazyop · 09/07/2025 23:35

samplesalequeen · 09/07/2025 23:30

Hi OP,

My dad died suddenly a few weeks before my 40th birthday. I spent the day deep in grief and shock. I say this as I’d really been looking forward to my birthday (I’m not a big birthday person) and had, rather unusually for me, planned some fun things. None of these things happened and I wanted the day to be over as soon as it started.

its a shame your night out wasn’t what you had planned but you’ll have plenty more hopefully.

Aww I’m so sorry to hear that your dad died before your 40th that’s awful. I’m so sorry. I feel like birthdays and other special occasions are the worst times for horrible things like death of loved ones to occur. I see what you mean by wanting to get your birthday over and done with. Sending hugs your way. Thanks so much for your reply. Exactly there will hopefully be many more birthdays to come

OP posts:
Original poster
Lilcrazyop · 09/07/2025 23:33

3luckystars · 09/07/2025 23:28

It’s one night. Nothing to get worked up about, you can have another night out anytime you like!!

Exactly. Thanks so much. I’m going out this weekend but I’ve made a promise to myself not to get myself worked up

OP posts:
Original poster
Lilcrazyop · 09/07/2025 23:32

TravelPanic · 09/07/2025 23:29

Hi Op, sounds like you’re going through a lot and put a big emphasis on this night to sort of prove to yourself that things are going better than they really are. Might be better to sit down and try to deal with the bad things that happened rather than trying to whitewash it all with a “successful” night out?

be kind to yourself x

Thanks so much. You’re right. I do tend to fixate on things to make up for shit I go through. I just feel so sad about it. I do think it stems from trauma and the trauma I’ve been through in recent years. I’m going to go back to therapy to work it out. Also I do think I’ve got a bit unhealthy attached to someone but I don’t want to give them up as they’re an amazing person in my life and an amazing support network

OP posts:
samplesalequeen · 09/07/2025 23:30

Hi OP,

My dad died suddenly a few weeks before my 40th birthday. I spent the day deep in grief and shock. I say this as I’d really been looking forward to my birthday (I’m not a big birthday person) and had, rather unusually for me, planned some fun things. None of these things happened and I wanted the day to be over as soon as it started.

its a shame your night out wasn’t what you had planned but you’ll have plenty more hopefully.

TravelPanic · 09/07/2025 23:29

Hi Op, sounds like you’re going through a lot and put a big emphasis on this night to sort of prove to yourself that things are going better than they really are. Might be better to sit down and try to deal with the bad things that happened rather than trying to whitewash it all with a “successful” night out?

be kind to yourself x

3luckystars · 09/07/2025 23:28

It’s one night. Nothing to get worked up about, you can have another night out anytime you like!!

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