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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to say that graduation ceremonies are not the place to make political statements?

443 replies

anythingbutlillies · 09/07/2025 20:53

Hard hat on.

DC's graduation today. Fabulous day, but it did not sit well with me that a few chose to unfurl a flag / raise a scarf while they were on the stage.
Just no! So very selfish.

Interested to hear if I am being precious?

OP posts:
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5
hdksolxveu · 11/07/2025 10:50

AmadeustheAlpaca · 09/07/2025 20:57

Assuming the flags etc were pro Palestinian, I wonder how that made Jewish students feel.

I’m Jewish and I would applaud it.

You shouldn’t assume all Jews are in favour of innocent people being massacred on a daily basis!

noblegiraffe · 11/07/2025 10:49

So antisemites who switched the old "Jews control the media, Jews are secretly controlling your government, Jews are blood thirsty" for "Zionists control the media, Zionists are secretly controlling your government, Zionists are blood thirsty" must be delighted by those slogans being trotted out by people who will strenuously claim that they're not antisemitic.

ForWittyTealOP · 11/07/2025 10:46

noblegiraffe · 11/07/2025 10:45

The word 'Zionist' has been pretended to mean 'supporter of Netanyahu' by people who don't know what Zionist means and clearly have no idea that Zionist is well established as a code word for Jew by antisemites.

Or don't mind that it's been co-opted because they think it's "secret code" dog whistling.

noblegiraffe · 11/07/2025 10:45

The word 'Zionist' has been pretended to mean 'supporter of Netanyahu' by people who don't know what Zionist means and clearly have no idea that Zionist is well established as a code word for Jew by antisemites.

NeedyPlumDeer · 11/07/2025 10:45

Slightyamusedandsilly · 11/07/2025 10:42

Why? That's assuming their Jewish friend was a Zionist. Many Jews are appalled at what is happening politically.

80% of Jewish people are Zionists.

ForWittyTealOP · 11/07/2025 10:43

Slightyamusedandsilly · 11/07/2025 10:42

Why? That's assuming their Jewish friend was a Zionist. Many Jews are appalled at what is happening politically.

Do you know what Zionism is? Your post suggests otherwise.

Are you Jewish yourself?

Slightyamusedandsilly · 11/07/2025 10:42

anythingbutlillies · 09/07/2025 21:09

Exactly this.
I know, just no need. My DC felt awful for their Jewish friend who was alongside them in the queue.

Why? That's assuming their Jewish friend was a Zionist. Many Jews are appalled at what is happening politically.

ForWittyTealOP · 11/07/2025 10:42

Comedycook · 11/07/2025 10:28

It happens all the time I'm afraid....it's impossible to have a nuanced sensible discussion when the are you happy about children dying is trotted out? Obviously no one thinks children dying is a good thing....like we should even have to say it

Oh but we're Jews and we eat children's blood in our matzos. 🙄

You're right. There's no point trying to have a rational debate with people who are willing to let themselves be brainwashed rather than do a tiny bit of reading and thinking for themselves. It's on TikTok so it must be true, right?

noblegiraffe · 11/07/2025 10:41

Sskka · 11/07/2025 09:20

“And what did you do yourself Granny?”

”Well there was one time I really burned this lady on Mumsnet…”

The idea that your grandkids are going to be asking you about this is laughable. Look down the list of genocides on Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_genocides
What have you done about the rest of them?

And some pro-Palestinians should be answering this fictional question with "well, I chanted support for terrorists on the streets of London, told Jews to shut up about antisemitism, and argued that Iran should be allowed to have nuclear weapons." Well done them.

ForWittyTealOP · 11/07/2025 10:40

nomas · 11/07/2025 10:24

Please stop the gaslighting. That poster used a laughing face emoji to someone who talked about the deaths of thousands of children.

I find your wilful blindness despicable.

It's not gaslighting. The performative nature of what people laughably call activism is disgusting. It's clearly meant to send out a signal about them and it's so easy to do. What on earth good do you think you're doing shouting in the street and spreading misinformation on social media? It makes me sick to see people pretending they have no choice but to see live streams of other people's deaths on their "Insta", let alone the faux grieving and utter refusal to see the conflict as anything other than binary right/wrong. I'm tired of being harangued by people who have no knowledge or understanding of anything that's ever happened in the middle east, so much so that they openly cheer on the most appalling human rights abusers, as long as they're sticking it to the "Zionists".

I'm not a gas lighter. You are a grief tourist and it's repulsive. I have nothing more to say to you. I think you're pond life.

Comedycook · 11/07/2025 10:28

ForWittyTealOP · 11/07/2025 10:22

Why would you say something like that? Unless there's something seriously the matter with you, you must know that nobody finds the death of children funny. So you're just posturing and in fact, using the death of those children to do so. I find that despicable.

It happens all the time I'm afraid....it's impossible to have a nuanced sensible discussion when the are you happy about children dying is trotted out? Obviously no one thinks children dying is a good thing....like we should even have to say it

nomas · 11/07/2025 10:24

ForWittyTealOP · 11/07/2025 10:22

Why would you say something like that? Unless there's something seriously the matter with you, you must know that nobody finds the death of children funny. So you're just posturing and in fact, using the death of those children to do so. I find that despicable.

Please stop the gaslighting. That poster used a laughing face emoji to someone who talked about the deaths of thousands of children.

I find your wilful blindness despicable.

ForWittyTealOP · 11/07/2025 10:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Why would you say something like that? Unless there's something seriously the matter with you, you must know that nobody finds the death of children funny. So you're just posturing and in fact, using the death of those children to do so. I find that despicable.

anythingbutlillies · 11/07/2025 10:11

onehorserace · 11/07/2025 09:55

What a shame this thread has taken this turn.

Agreed.

I have my answer though.
Thanks to all.
,60/40

OP posts:
bretta · 11/07/2025 10:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Nice straw man, well done

nomas · 11/07/2025 09:57

This reply has been deleted

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onehorserace · 11/07/2025 09:55

What a shame this thread has taken this turn.

chaosiscominggrabchocolate · 11/07/2025 09:51

I'm afraid I totally disagree with Nn9011 . Education is actually not political and there is enough trouble without demanding people see things your way or you are then derided as (insert some euphemism for evil). This event is the celebration of hard work in your subject and your care givers hard work in paying for you to achieve that. Students have done enough with all the pro-Palestinian camps and intimidation. They can march in the streets of the UK. It's an arrogant and self-righteous attitude. Actually, most Jews ARE Zionists in that they just want a Jewish State to feel secure in (That's actually all 'Zionism' means). Your view that the Israelis are 'occupying' is controversial and is disputed passionately and with a great deal of logic.

BeachPossum · 11/07/2025 09:43

bretta · 11/07/2025 09:26

I don't think anyone is in favour of child casualties but they're an inevitable consequence of a war that Israel didn't want or ask for.

Israel are committing these acts. Israel is making these choices. You talk as though they have no option but genocide and it's categorically not true. What is currently happening in Gaza is a very clear decision by Israel.

What Hamas did on October 7th was absolutely despicable and unacceptable and absolutely warranted a response. That does not mean Israel is justified in committing acts of genocide and international war crimes.

Child deaths are not an inevitable consequence. Israel could choose not to target tented refugee camps and hospitals. They could choose not to bomb civilian areas. They could choose not to shoot people queuing for aid.

Israel is responsible for every act of war it chooses and will be held accountable for what they do.

bretta · 11/07/2025 09:32

nomas · 11/07/2025 09:27

Israel does want this war. Make no mistake.

And they’re deliberately killing civilians.

I must have imagined the Oct 7th atrocity and the taking of hostages then, apologies

nomas · 11/07/2025 09:28

anythingbutlillies · 11/07/2025 09:23

Be careful to not injure yourself with that reach.
How on earth do you know about how I live - either in or out of a bubble.
All you know is that I have a DC who graduated in a traditional subject from a RG university this week, and that I am curious to know if that is the right occasion for political statements be made.

Oh, and that I don't like lillies.

Check yourself please.

Check yourself mate. You don’t get to dictate what other students do with their 15 seconds or whatever.

nomas · 11/07/2025 09:27

bretta · 11/07/2025 09:26

I don't think anyone is in favour of child casualties but they're an inevitable consequence of a war that Israel didn't want or ask for.

Israel does want this war. Make no mistake.

And they’re deliberately killing civilians.

bretta · 11/07/2025 09:26

BeachPossum · 11/07/2025 09:13

A couple of years ago being opposed to child casualties of war was a fairly mainstream position that you could safely assume anyone with any kind of moral sense would hold. Not so any more apparently, dead kids and child amputees and babies starving to death are just par for the course.

I don't think anyone is in favour of child casualties but they're an inevitable consequence of a war that Israel didn't want or ask for.

anythingbutlillies · 11/07/2025 09:23

nomas · 11/07/2025 09:06

Aren’t you the selfish one living in your bubble?

Be careful to not injure yourself with that reach.
How on earth do you know about how I live - either in or out of a bubble.
All you know is that I have a DC who graduated in a traditional subject from a RG university this week, and that I am curious to know if that is the right occasion for political statements be made.

Oh, and that I don't like lillies.

Check yourself please.

OP posts:
bretta · 11/07/2025 09:23

mimosa5 · 10/07/2025 23:44

The term virtue signalling implies the gestures were insincere or empty and I'm not sure how you can know that, or why you seem to think the worst of their motives.

The reason people are compelled to show support and solidarity for Palestine at the moment is because of what we are seeing EVERY DAY and the fact these atrocities are continuing without any challenge from anyone in leadership. Not because it's "trendy".

But whatever, when your grandchildren ask you what you did when the Palestinian genocide was taking place, you can tell them you started a thought provoking thread on Mumsnet, questioning whether political protest at university graduation is quite the done thing.

I have respect for people who actually make some effort to drive change (even if I don't agree with the cause) by for example attending an official march, writing to their MP etc.. That's activism which might just make a modicum of difference (important in any democracy) and therefore not virtue signaling.

However anyone demonstrating self-righteousness with vacuous effortless tokens of support which will always make absolutely no difference to the cause (eg unveiling a flag, wearing a keffiyeh, etc.) marks them out as inauthentic virtue signallers.