Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to say that graduation ceremonies are not the place to make political statements?

443 replies

anythingbutlillies · 09/07/2025 20:53

Hard hat on.

DC's graduation today. Fabulous day, but it did not sit well with me that a few chose to unfurl a flag / raise a scarf while they were on the stage.
Just no! So very selfish.

Interested to hear if I am being precious?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
thepariscrimefiles · 10/07/2025 13:31

mintydoggyv · 10/07/2025 13:12

Untill hamas has been got rid of there will never be peace , least we forget hamas run gaza . So Israel will defend it self , flag waving won't work , politicians getting together sending in a army of united nations troops and ridding gaza of terrorists would work , it's the only answer that would work to bring peace to gaza and Israel l am afraid. Iran a terrorist country are sending terrorists to kill the people of Israel, the terrorists s need removing then there can be peace ,at the moment it's tit for tat .

Can we also get rid of Netanyahu (needs the war to stay in power and out of jail for corruption), Smotrich (messianic settler and self-declared “fascist homophobe”) and Ben Gvir (who embraced extremism so young that Israel’s domestic security forces barred him from serving in the country’s army as a teenager)?

anythingbutlillies · 10/07/2025 13:25

Comedycook · 10/07/2025 12:50

Of course you must be a Champagne swilling toff if you have a child who has been to university! 😂

I know right!
<Facepalm emoji>

OP posts:
ForWittyTealOP · 10/07/2025 13:18

thepariscrimefiles · 10/07/2025 13:13

Would you also describe the graphic descriptions of the atrocities committed on 7 October as 'war porn'?

I think it's disrespectful to describe in detail the extreme violence and acts of torture carried out on people, yes, and to dwell ghoulishly on the after effects just so you can make a point on social media. Obviously there's some exception for official observers, such as journalists, but for the average person to be so explicit is unnecessary. I posted something appalling but I posted the link to the article and gave a warning. So often people seem to really enjoy going into gory details just so they can prove themselves morally superior.

SuburbanSprawl · 10/07/2025 13:16

Comedycook · 10/07/2025 12:54

And who cares if it ruins the occasion for others or makes some people uncomfortable hey?!

I think that's a fair question, and one that any society that permits protest has to deal with.

So, for instance, Stop Oil blockaded the M25 and caused all sorts of inconvenience and cost to thousands, including myself. It was very irritating, and I thought the gesture was pretty futile.

On the other hand, I can't think of any way to prevent that kind of thing that doesn't involve putting in place legal constraints that I think would be bad for our society and contradictory to our culture. I'm against that.

In the end, I think it's down to each of us to come up with a kind of general idea of what we'll agree with, what we'll tolerate, what we'll tolerate but be bloody annoyed about and what we don't think should be allowed.

The one in question - it doesn't bother me too much as protests go.

thepariscrimefiles · 10/07/2025 13:13

ForWittyTealOP · 10/07/2025 12:43

Indulging in war porn is grim. Have some respect.

Would you also describe the graphic descriptions of the atrocities committed on 7 October as 'war porn'?

mintydoggyv · 10/07/2025 13:12

Comedycook · 10/07/2025 12:01

And yet the two manage to cross over so often...

Untill hamas has been got rid of there will never be peace , least we forget hamas run gaza . So Israel will defend it self , flag waving won't work , politicians getting together sending in a army of united nations troops and ridding gaza of terrorists would work , it's the only answer that would work to bring peace to gaza and Israel l am afraid. Iran a terrorist country are sending terrorists to kill the people of Israel, the terrorists s need removing then there can be peace ,at the moment it's tit for tat .

ForWittyTealOP · 10/07/2025 13:07

Some thoughts.

  1. I wish people would either try to understand Zionism or be quiet. Most Jews have Zionist beliefs, i.e. the right of Jews to live in safety in their ancient homeland. We see you using Zionist as a synonym for Jewish and we know exactly what you mean by it. See also "not all Zionists are Jewish".

Which leads me to,

  1. Stop playing good Jew bad Jew. It's a tedious game.
  1. Everybody unfurling a flag/shouting Free Palestine or other empty slogans in public should be prepared to give a half hour presentation on the history of conflict in the region (going way back before 1948 and without the use of Wikipedia). If you're so sure of who's right and wrong, you need to explain exactly how you reached your conclusion.
  1. Flag waving in a political way has never achieved anything except nationalistic division. Flag waving at a graduation won't increase awareness, nor achieve peace. It will only promote a mass outbreak of eye rolling among people who just want to see their loved one collect a certificate.
  1. Said this on another thread but it bears repeating. There is no right or wrong "side", there is only pro- or anti-violence. Be careful when you yell your slogans that you're not accidentally allying yourself with the wrong one.
applegingermint · 10/07/2025 13:05

Is continuing to live in your bubble at all times really more important than what Palestinians are going through now? If you were living in Gaza wouldn't you wonder who these people are around the world who are happily going on with their lives while they are dying, starving and losing their loved ones?

Yes it is, the same way that most people don’t spend their days thinking about the ongoing genocide and famine in Sudan (far more significant than Palestine), the way that climate change is going to immeasurably harm the Pacific Islands and countries like India, and the march of AI on the jobs market.

Holding up a keffiyeh at your graduation ceremony is the most pointless of acts. The Middle East has been a mess for decades and influential people & governments have made little progress. Even the Arab League can’t be bothered helping Palestinians. Sebastian from Bristol holding up his flag as he accepts his 2:1 in classics and job offer as a media buyer is purely performative.

Annoyedone · 10/07/2025 13:04

MaturingCheeseball · 10/07/2025 12:55

They’re not engaged, they’re just on the bandwagon. They’ll all be off on their nice hols next week.

Yeah. All those chanting from the river to the sea… I asked one which river to which sea…. They didn’t know 😂. They were just chanting what they’d heard. These people are not engaged in the issues.

ForWittyTealOP · 10/07/2025 12:56

Fancycheese · 10/07/2025 12:31

Of course they are. Anti-semitism is ancient and some people will take any excuse to cloak their bigotry in seemingly respectable outrage. But voices do need to be loud when more than 55,000 Palestinians have been killed.

How so many people are able to look past children being starved to death and pulled out of rubble is beyond me. What privilege you all have to look the other way when ethnic cleansing is happening.

I hope the OP managed to enjoy their celebratory graduation lunch/dinner afterwards and the flag didn’t sour the taste of the champagne.

Are you raising your voice for the young boys of Sudan? Children as young as four bring massacred in their villages because of the colour of their skin?
If not, maybe reflect on why.

Link here but it's extremely upsetting.

www.theguardian.com/world/article/2024/may/09/darfur-atrocities-ethnic-cleansing-human-rights-watch-report-rsf-sudan?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

MaturingCheeseball · 10/07/2025 12:55

They’re not engaged, they’re just on the bandwagon. They’ll all be off on their nice hols next week.

Comedycook · 10/07/2025 12:54

SuburbanSprawl · 10/07/2025 12:52

Why? I don't think it matters that the gesture hasn't solved the crisis in the Middle East. I do think it matters that young people are making gestures, however futile, in support of political positions because it shows they're engaged.

And who cares if it ruins the occasion for others or makes some people uncomfortable hey?!

SuburbanSprawl · 10/07/2025 12:52

Comedycook · 10/07/2025 12:48

Astonishing contribution to the thread there.

Why? I don't think it matters that the gesture hasn't solved the crisis in the Middle East. I do think it matters that young people are making gestures, however futile, in support of political positions because it shows they're engaged.

MaturingCheeseball · 10/07/2025 12:52

The thing is that the flag waver (ie “student”) in the past few years has chanted “Ooh Jeremy Corbyn” at Glastonbury, held up a BLM placard, shouted “Trans Rights are Human Rights” and thought about, but probably thought better of, spraying orange paint on an Old Master.

Just as the US students protested about Vietnam safe in the knowledge that they weren’t going anywhere, only those poor schmucks from Idaho or Mississippi.

ForWittyTealOP · 10/07/2025 12:51

Nn9011 · 10/07/2025 11:16

Nope because Israel is a country that is currently carrying out a genocide. I do not associate Israel with automatically Jewish as it's a Zionism does not automatically mean Jewish. In fact many Zionists are Christian nationalists who believe that through Zionism rapture will happen. I am absolutely not antisemitic.

Also I'd encourage you to research how Israel treats Holocaust survivors because there is the biggest population of homeless survivors and they live in Israel.

You don't associate the only Jewish state in the world with "automatically Jewish" (sic)... Let me guess. You also do not see colour and believe #notallmen.

Comedycook · 10/07/2025 12:50

anythingbutlillies · 10/07/2025 12:47

🙄
Any need for that last sentence?

What do you want me to say? That we partied hard and long and spent several hundred £ celebrating or that we donated what we would have spent to a cause close to our hearts?

Of course you must be a Champagne swilling toff if you have a child who has been to university! 😂

SuburbanSprawl · 10/07/2025 12:50

onehorserace · 10/07/2025 12:47

It's boring , delays an already tedious thing and should be clamped down on .

No. It's marginally less boring than the ceremony, which it enlivens a bit, though I tend to agree it should be clamped down on because, kids being kids, that'll only encourage it

Comedycook · 10/07/2025 12:48

SuburbanSprawl · 10/07/2025 12:46

So what?

Astonishing contribution to the thread there.

anythingbutlillies · 10/07/2025 12:47

Fancycheese · 10/07/2025 12:31

Of course they are. Anti-semitism is ancient and some people will take any excuse to cloak their bigotry in seemingly respectable outrage. But voices do need to be loud when more than 55,000 Palestinians have been killed.

How so many people are able to look past children being starved to death and pulled out of rubble is beyond me. What privilege you all have to look the other way when ethnic cleansing is happening.

I hope the OP managed to enjoy their celebratory graduation lunch/dinner afterwards and the flag didn’t sour the taste of the champagne.

🙄
Any need for that last sentence?

What do you want me to say? That we partied hard and long and spent several hundred £ celebrating or that we donated what we would have spent to a cause close to our hearts?

OP posts:
onehorserace · 10/07/2025 12:47

It's boring , delays an already tedious thing and should be clamped down on .

SuburbanSprawl · 10/07/2025 12:46

Comedycook · 10/07/2025 12:44

Of course it's virtue signalling. It achieves absolutely nothing. Has peace in the middle east suddenly been achieved because some trendoid student has waved a flag around?

So what?

Comedycook · 10/07/2025 12:44

SuburbanSprawl · 10/07/2025 12:40

Ah, 'virtue signalling'. The accusation levelled at anyone who expresses an ethical position in a way that the accuser doesn't like. Ouch. That'll hurt.

Thing is a lot of young people decide to take some kind of stand, or make some kind of public gesture in support of something they feel strongly about. And quite often that gesture is either slightly crass or pretty ineffective. I think this is one of those cases, to be honest.

On the other hand, making crass and awkward gestures in support of something or other is as important a part of being at university as any of the other rites of passage one is expected to go through. So I'd be a bit disappointed if it didn't happen.

Also, by the way, for every post complaining about young people making political statements there are three complaining about young people being unengaged and apathetic.

Not for the first time, I'm of the opinion that the poor sods can't win.

Of course it's virtue signalling. It achieves absolutely nothing. Has peace in the middle east suddenly been achieved because some trendoid student has waved a flag around?

anythingbutlillies · 10/07/2025 12:43

Fancycheese · 10/07/2025 12:25

Well there might be a Venn diagram but it’s not a perfect circle. Absolutely ridiculous to conflate criticism of a government’s genocidal actions with anti-semitism. In that case, can Netanyahu behave however he likes without any rebuke because he happens to be Jewish and the leader of Israel.

Universities have always been political. This is now new. And the older generation have always wished the younger generation would shut up about issues they would rather not think about. Be grateful a bit of flag waving was the only thing that went wrong for you that day.

Once again for those that are imposing their own narrative on this thread, I never said that anything 'went wrong'.

Some people seem to have trouble understanding that it's possible to have views on political / worldwide events and stand by such causes whilst also believing that a graduation ceremony is not the place for these views to be aired - which is what my OP was asking.

OP posts:
ForWittyTealOP · 10/07/2025 12:43

wineosaurusrex · 10/07/2025 06:52

Well what are you upset about then? Honestly it's FAR more upetting for anyone with a shred of decency that people like you are happy to watch the atocities Israel are committing and to think there is ANY moment that is inappropriate to speak out about it.

Haven't you seen the numerous videos of parents carrying the bloodsoaked bodies of their innocent children through the streets? Didn't you see the 6 year old girl trapped in a car with her dead family, begging for help, before being delibately shot to pieces by Israeli soldiers? Don't you see the emaciated children dying slow, painful deaths because they've been delivately starved by Israel?

Universities have always been places where students bravely make political stands and speak out against injustice, cruelty, and evil. This has been the case throughout history - think of the White Rose movement, the students who were executed for speaking out against the nazis in German universities, or think about the anti-Vietnam war protests in the US. These students are intelligent, brave and on the right side of history.

If it slightly spoiled your day then you need to give yourself a serious talking to. There are a lot of mothers in Gaza who are spending today in unimaginable grief, mourning the horrific death of their child, while you're safe in the UK enjoying your child's graduation. It really makes me sick that you have the audacity to complain about this.

Indulging in war porn is grim. Have some respect.

SuburbanSprawl · 10/07/2025 12:40

noblegiraffe · 09/07/2025 22:53

How will this improve anything or do anything other than piss off people who are there to watch their child graduate?

Pure virtue signalling. I'm sure they felt very righteous and that's what really matters.

Ah, 'virtue signalling'. The accusation levelled at anyone who expresses an ethical position in a way that the accuser doesn't like. Ouch. That'll hurt.

Thing is a lot of young people decide to take some kind of stand, or make some kind of public gesture in support of something they feel strongly about. And quite often that gesture is either slightly crass or pretty ineffective. I think this is one of those cases, to be honest.

On the other hand, making crass and awkward gestures in support of something or other is as important a part of being at university as any of the other rites of passage one is expected to go through. So I'd be a bit disappointed if it didn't happen.

Also, by the way, for every post complaining about young people making political statements there are three complaining about young people being unengaged and apathetic.

Not for the first time, I'm of the opinion that the poor sods can't win.