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AIBU?

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Original poster

To keep DS off school tomorrow after classmate’s seizure?

208 replies

Grey0 · 09/07/2025 20:07

DS (14) had quite a distressing experience at school today and I’m unsure what to do for tomorrow. Would appreciate some thoughts.

On the way back from PE to their next lesson, one of DS’s classmates (not a close friend, just someone in his year group) had a seizure. They were still outside at the time. DS was with a couple of others when it happened. He’s been volunteering with St John’s Ambulance and said he recognised it straight away. He put his jacket under the boy’s head, made sure he was safe etc, but said the boy hit his head as he went down and later cut his lip during a second seizure. Other friends ran to get a teacher and they ended up calling an ambulance.

DS went on to his next lesson after giving his account but he’s come home really quiet and clearly a bit shaken. He’s not normally one for drama or fuss so it’s unusual for him to be this subdued. He keeps going over it in his head and saying he’s not sure if he did enough or did the right thing (even though it sounds like he did brilliantly under the circumstances).

He’s not close to the boy but obviously it was a lot to witness. WIBU to keep him off school tomorrow so he can decompress a bit? Or is that an overreaction? I just feel like he’s still processing it all.

OP posts:
Rosscameasdoody · 09/07/2025 20:35

Why would you keep him off ? He helped with someone else’s’ disability and from what you’ve said did brilliantly. It doesn’t warrant a day off school - for one thing he doesn’t need to dwell on it, his normal routine will be the best thing for him. And for another, the person who had the seizure will probably be back in and if DS stays off it’ll look like what it is - an excuse for a day off.

Whatwouldnanado · 09/07/2025 20:35

Encourage him to be very proud of himself but definitely crack on with school as normal tomorrow. It will help him build resilience and self confidence.

Dunnocantthinkofone · 09/07/2025 20:35

I think encouraging him to go in as usual will be more helpful than making a big thing about it and help him develop resilience

Ponderingwindow · 09/07/2025 20:35

Just watch you son. If he is showing signs of serious distress, keep him home. Just doing it as a precaution is a massive overreaction.

the girl next to me during exams had a seizure. We just had to keep taking our test while the proctors helped her and then the ambulance crew came in.

Thisisnotmyid · 09/07/2025 20:34

Ah apologies my autocorrect did not work very well! I meant your DS explained very well what happened to the staff!🤦🏻‍♀️

Sugargliderwombat · 09/07/2025 20:33

A day off will just mean he's sat at home thinking about it. If he wants to talk about it it's better to talk to friends or teacher who were there than sit at home.

TheOriginalEmu · 09/07/2025 20:33

reassurance that he did all the right things is definitely needed. I wouldn’t suggest staying home but if he brings it up himself I would consider it.
I do tend to agree that staying home might be counterproductive in that he’ll be ruminating on it and that cause more harm than good.

Motherfluffers · 09/07/2025 20:33

While it’s lovely he did this and to say you’re proud of him please remind him that it’s not on him to be recriminating about what he did or didn’t do. He’s a kid and nobody is expecting a kid to keep another kid alive whether they go to St J’s A or not. Not his responsibility. Keeping the boy comfortable as he could while ambulance was called was exactly right to do. He wouldn’t be expected to make any medical decisions or administer any treatment so please be firm that this would never be expected of him.

TheOccupier · 09/07/2025 20:33

Send him in and let him enjoy being a hero! They'll all have forgotten by Friday.

Thisisnotmyid · 09/07/2025 20:32

I also vote overreaction. Explain to your DS as best as you can what happened and that it may happen again.

Lavender14 · 09/07/2025 20:31

I think keeping him off is making a bigger thing out of it than it needs to be and is reinforcing the ruminating on it.

I think it's better he goes back, faces the place they were, debriefs a bit with the classmates who were there and life continues as normal. If you're worried you could link his form teacher in or whoever is head of pastoral care but you checking in at home may be more than enough.

It sounds like he did fantastic.

TheOriginalEmu · 09/07/2025 20:30

Plamilt · 09/07/2025 20:22

I think it's the child with ill health who might need time off to recover, not the child who'd had some first aid training and called for help.

Oh don’t be a dick. They aren’t mutually exclusive things.

MintTwirl · 09/07/2025 20:30

I wouldn’t keep him off, let him talk it through as much as he wants, reassure him that he did the right things and how proud you are of him. It’s scary to give first aid and definitely can leave you shaken up.

MoserRothOrangeandAlmond · 09/07/2025 20:29

Personally I would send him into school. If he sits at home what is he going to do? Sit and think about it, going over and over in his mind.

I would remind him that he done a fantastic job! it’s great that he volunteers for St John’s ambulance. It’s perfectly normal to go through things to process it. Maybe let his HOY know and maybe they can offer him a kind of ‘debrief’ in this situation.

I agree seizures are distressing to see. I had a girl in my class as a child have seizures.
As a grown women as a nurse I know how to deal with them and you do feel helpless as there isn’t much you can do to help apart from to keep them safe.
My husband developed epilepsy 2 years ago and some of his seizures have scared me (this was more because they came out of the blue, didn’t know what the cause was and I thought I was going to loose him).

CopperWhite · 09/07/2025 20:29

This is not a reason for him to stay off school u less you want to teach him that he shouldn’t be able to cope with this.

It will do him good to be able to chat it through with his friends at school anyway.

Justwaits · 09/07/2025 20:28

As far as I can tell your son is understandably a little subdued and you have leapt on it excitedly and thinks it calls for a day off?

BlueMum16 · 09/07/2025 20:28

Well done to your DS .
He needs to go to school though.

BIossomtoes · 09/07/2025 20:28

He did a great job and will be far better off at school than at home.

TourdeFrance2025 · 09/07/2025 20:27

mynamesnotsam · 09/07/2025 20:12

It sounds like he did brilliantly, but if you keep him off school you're making it into a bigger thing than it is. He'll have a whole day off to ruminate on it. Give him a hug and tell him you're massively proud of him. Tomorrow send him to school as usual so he'll have the distraction of friends and lessons.

This!!

well done DS!!

ScrambledEggs12 · 09/07/2025 20:26

Our school would definitely not be impressed with someone having a day off for that!

Well done to your son though!

Kirbert2 · 09/07/2025 20:26

I'd send him in as normal. Going over it again is his way of processing it which is also normal.

I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it.

StrawberrySquash · 09/07/2025 20:26

Keeping him home makes it into a bigger thing than it should be. A scary thing happened and he dealt with it well. That should reassure him that he can cope with the stuff life throws at him.

alexisccd · 09/07/2025 20:26

NoviceScoutMum · 09/07/2025 20:17

If he's a SJA volunteer, could he talk it through with one of the leaders/trainers (not.sure what they're called!)

i think this is a good idea

Whatshesaid96 · 09/07/2025 20:25

Well done to your son for being able to. Many people just freeze or panic like headless chickens. I think it would be an over reaction to keep him off. However I'd message school to see if anyone can check in with him. Keep the door open for conversation with him also if he needs it.

I did emergency first aid on an elderly lady recently. Blood everywhere, bystanders useless and 999 wouldn't send an ambulance for hours. Afterwards when the adrenaline dropped I was really upset. Wondering if I'd manhandled the poor lady, put myself in danger by driving her home or if I'd done the right thing. It can definitely play on your mind for a while.

MyVIsForVendetta · 09/07/2025 20:24

My 18yo son has a friend who has seizures.

Unexplained at this point and it’s happened when they have been alone together.

My son is an adult and totally traumatised by it.
He thought his friend was dead. It kept playing over and over in his head.

Absolutely keep your 14 year old boy off school.