To not know how school mum does it?

I think we all have easy and difficult seasons in life, and we rarely cross paths with people in the same season. I used to have a great job, was very fit, had my hair done blah blah blah and then my 3 year old became very poorly overnight whilst I was 12 weeks pregnant with my son. I now have a disabled 6 year old and a 3 year old son with emerging SEN. If you had met me 3 years ago you would have thought my life was perfect from the outside, but look where we are now! I get up every day at 4 with at least one kid, spend my time dealing with seizures, ehcps, Sen schools etc. I drop my son at nursery and actually laugh at my own reflection sometimes. This is my hard season. In 10 years time my kids might be easier and someone who has it easy now might be dealing with aging parents, or ill health themselves. Our lives can change dramatically overnight so try to enjoy what you have whilst you have it…even if you look like shit!

It looks great for two days. By Wednesday I might run my straighteners over it quickly. Thursday I’ll tie back, and then probably wash it Thursday night.

I have a long bob that sits about an inch off my shoulders and it’s naturally straight so pretty easy to manage.

@mikado1

06:00: Wake up and head straight into the shower for a quick refresh

06:10 - 06:30: Get dressed (clothes are prepped the night before), do hair and makeup.

06:30 - 06:45: Make a cuppa, sort the kids’ breakfast, and feed the animals.

06:45 - 07:30: Wake the children and get them moving.

07:30 - Open laptop to check the day ahead while the kids potter about. I usually prep the slow cooker around this time (about three times a week); my husband handles dinner on the other days.

08:00: School drop-off, then drive to work.

08:30 - 16:30: Workday.

Evening Routine:

17:00 - 18:00: Back home. Catch up with the children, check homework, and dish up dinner. We eat together with no devices - proper conversation time.

18:00 - 19:00ish: Depending on the day, one of us handles sports clubs while the other takes the dog for a walk.

19:00 - 20:30: Bedtime routine for the children, followed by a cuppa with my husband. I lay out clothes for the next day, have a quick shower, and change into pyjamas.

20:30 onwards: Possibly some ironing (I enjoy listening to an Audible book while doing it – makes it feel more like a hobby).

Around 21:00: Ideally in bed, though if ironing’s on the go, I’ll happily stay up a bit later.

Extras & Self-Care:

I get my nails done every three weeks on a Saturday.

Full-body wax every few weeks on a Thursday evening – my waxer is amazing and gets it all done in 40 minutes.

Hair wash and blowdry happens on Sunday and Thursday nights, so the schedule shifts a little then.

I generally sleep well, have the help of a cleaner, and aside from my hour-long evening dog walks, I don’t do much in the way of exercise.

The one touch system of decluttering is something I aspire to, it really does make sense.

I relate to this. Except I'm not particularly well presented. Just the sense of being chatty, wanting to be a parent volunteer and being helpful. I get a kick out of it. Don't think you can fake that.

Would love to hear your timetable, if you would share.

You look your idea of nice, and that's fine, but we don't all have to follow those standards to be doing well and be happy.

Why does me looking nice make you feel sad?

You don’t know anything about her. Primary mums always said how easy I made single parenting and a demanding job look. I was depressed, really struggling.

I have an organised schedule but I also have lots of energy and a good memory so I appear more together than i actual am.

I will skip the full body wax too sounds painful.

Whatever works for you, but you could not pay me to get a full body wax!
That's not remotely related to being organised imho.

Ooh yes outsourcing! We have a cleaner now.

Can I please ask, how long does your weekly blow dry last? I presume you do your hair yourself mid week?

Hi I work full time in an office about 20 minutes commute mon to Fri

I’ve had friends/other mums ask me how I ‘do it all’ - 3 young kids, work full time in a senior role etc.

The reality is I have a lot of help and outsource as much as I can. Full time nanny, a cleaner, gardener etc. All of our laundry gets sent out. I go to a salon every Sunday evening and have my nails done and a blow dry. And I have a couple of designated cupboards where I hide all the mess.

Yeah she does.

I never had much money,or time really. I had one disabled son, Im.still his carer.. I can shower, hair, make up in 15 minutes. Most of my clothes are charity shops or vinted. A couple of weeks ago I parked the car, walking to the hairdresser's,very well spoken lady was walking towards me. She said "oh,my don't you look fabulous".had a little chat she was 80, certainly didn't look it. I had one a retro style white cotton lace top ,3/4 sleeves. Last time 2 months previously also going to the hairdresser's,a bloke probably in his 50s, said my hair looked fabulous. I had a consultant appointment in the winter, the consultant said I had fabulous hair!

Lol thanks for your concern but I'm not burnt out. In fact, right now I'm enjoying a wonderful holiday away abroad ... on a sun bed on a beach sipping a cold drink ... and my laptop is at home! My life is a choice and I'm happy with it.

The point I'm making for the OP is that she might see 'supermum' but it's only a snapshot. The reality probably is very different. I'm not actually on here to complain about my life (which I love, despite how tough some aspects of it are) or to seek advice about changing it (to me, it's worth every late night and every bit of exhaustion) but thanks anyway 😊

@surreygirl1987 I was thinking more of the having to work past midnight, which surely adds to your exhaustion. What happens if you burn yourself out? Who will pay for the school fees, who will look after your DC?

I always think the secret to this is sleep!!!! I know that sounds ridiculous but all the people I know who are spritely and gorgeous looking and work and are amazing at all the school runs etc talk about getting organised the night before, going to bed at 9 and don’t seem to spend time on social media etc. Not all have fantastic support networks as I know a few that do talk about the craziness of childcare and juggling (thinking of two in particular, two of the nicest people, one a single mum other dh regularly away but ft busy jobs)

Thanks - that's so kind.

You mean looking after my two SEN boys? They're my kids. My full time job? I love it, find my career hugely satisfying and it pays the mortgage (not to mention the private school fees!). The competitive sport? Massively positive impact on my mental health, and doesn't take up much time.

Obviously, as I mentioned, my kids are both SEN, which is the biggest challenge for me (both emotionally, mentally and time-wise). One has an autism and ADHD diagnosis and the other is being assessed now. This is not something I am trying to 'fit in' but simply a part of our lives. Having autistic kids is exhausting.

@surreygirl1987 is there a reason you try and fit so much in, if you are a mess and exhausted?

I had 2 children and worked FT as did DH who also travelled overseas a lot for a decade as part of his job with no pattern to it whatsoever. I was always turned out well enough and until about 52 a size 8, my Mother an ex dancer taught us all how to walk property and stand correctly and went on about ‘good underwear’ I just had very high energy levels. Have poker straight hair and as I’m mixed race I could just dodge make up totally, thanks Dad. The only help I had was a cleaner, all family live hundreds of miles away. We did make a babysitting swap with another family so got out about every 2 months. I also did voluntary committee work through this for 2 different charities. I used to walk briskly round campus for a hour every day where I worked. My children never had a stomach bug, DS vomited once in spectacular fashion brought on by a migraine when his puberty started, they both caught chicken pox but were almost never ill, not even with colds.

This is so perfectly put.

You're amazing regardless.