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AIBU?

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Original poster

To HATE the word fart and just wish people would stop!!

144 replies

GospelOakCloak · 09/07/2025 19:40

Using this world all the time ! There’s no need !!

OP posts:
Enigma53 · 09/07/2025 21:11

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/07/2025 21:10

The rhyme I knew was

Beans, Beans, good for your heart
The more you eat the more you fart
The more you fart the better you feel
So lets have beans for every meal!

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Yes knew there was more to the rhyme, just couldn’t remember.

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/07/2025 21:11

ObtuseMoose · 09/07/2025 21:10

Could be even worse...

Moist farts!

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Ohh yeah.....the follow through aka the fart you can't trust

ObtuseMoose · 09/07/2025 21:10

cloudyblueglass · 09/07/2025 20:54

Could be worse…..

moist

Grin

Could be even worse...

Moist farts!

SprayWhiteDung · 09/07/2025 21:10

Sunshineofyourlove · 09/07/2025 20:16

In Scotland we say pump.

Doesn't that, erm, mean something quite different from a mere eggy puff-puff in Scotland?!

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/07/2025 21:10

Enigma53 · 09/07/2025 21:01

Beans beans, make you FART
The more you eat, the more you FART

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

The rhyme I knew was

Beans, Beans, good for your heart
The more you eat the more you fart
The more you fart the better you feel
So lets have beans for every meal!

Ilikemymenlikeilikemycoffee · 09/07/2025 21:09

Toottooot · 09/07/2025 20:29

Reallly? Nobody I know uses pump🤷🏻‍♀️

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My DH from Newcastle does!

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/07/2025 21:08

My mother said pump
When I was a kid it was Boff, especially at school ...."Urgh James boffed!"
Guff was another school one.

My Aunt would say "Pantie Puff" semi ironically. I was more offended by the use of the word Pantie than I would ever be about fart.

So fart it is.

Rosie8880 · 09/07/2025 21:07

GospelOakCloak · 09/07/2025 19:40

Using this world all the time ! There’s no need !!

Genuinely one of the best MN posts of all time.
MN is crackers

cocoonscriticupgrading · 09/07/2025 21:06

Would you mind stopping that? Yep! Which way did it go? Buddum tish

Princessbananahamock · 09/07/2025 21:04

I’m going to take a Norwegian speed bump.

To HATE the word fart and just wish people would stop!!
IReallyLoveItHere · 09/07/2025 21:02

Despite growing up in a rather uncouth family no one said fart, even friends, and I had assumed it was a much ruder word and was horrified when I saw it used in kids books.

Enigma53 · 09/07/2025 21:02

In my day, it was “ guff” !!!!

PiggieWig · 09/07/2025 21:01

Would you prefer we let rip? 🏃 💨

Enigma53 · 09/07/2025 21:01

Beans beans, make you FART
The more you eat, the more you FART

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Scentedjasmin · 09/07/2025 21:00

I couldn't agree more OP. The correct etiquette is to say, "pardon me, but I think that I just stepped on a frog", or "please excuse my husband!".

Livelongandprosper · 09/07/2025 20:59

We were never allowed to use the word fart in our house. Imagine my surprise when I was required to study The Canterbury Tales and came across The Miller’s Tale. “This Nicholas anon leet fle a fart……”

AuntyHistamine · 09/07/2025 20:57

GospelOakCloak · 09/07/2025 19:44

I’m too precious for farting just stop Grin

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But you just said it again! Paaaaaarrrrpppp!

Broop · 09/07/2025 20:57

We’re a Botty Cough house here, or sometimes we use Boof (which sounds smelly the way my DH says it). If we’re feeling particularly fancy it’s a Love Puff.
One of my relatives uses Botty Boomer.

Sjb85 · 09/07/2025 20:56

MonumentalError · 09/07/2025 20:25

Is “guff” better?

You've unlocked a core memory from my teenage years with that 🤣

Bluebunnylover · 09/07/2025 20:56

It’s not as bad as moist!

Sjb85 · 09/07/2025 20:55

Yeoldlondoncheese · 09/07/2025 19:45

What would you prefer?

Passing gas
breaking wind
flatulence
tooting

😂

My nan used to call it pumping 🤣

cloudyblueglass · 09/07/2025 20:54

Could be worse…..

moist

Grin
Thingyfanding · 09/07/2025 20:49

We say trump or pop

Thingyfanding · 09/07/2025 20:48

KitsyWitsy · 09/07/2025 19:43

I hate the word ‘wank’ as well. Horrible.

Ugh me too. I remember reading a message a girl had sent to my ex boyfriend to say she’d had a wank thinking about him 🤣 they’re married now with children.

Original poster
GospelOakCloak · 09/07/2025 20:46

We don’t fart in our family we read Proust

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