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AIBU?

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Original poster

To HATE the word fart and just wish people would stop!!

144 replies

GospelOakCloak · 09/07/2025 19:40

Using this world all the time ! There’s no need !!

OP posts:
ArcticBells · 09/07/2025 21:42

In my day we did rudies! Grin

AutumnLeaves91 · 09/07/2025 21:41

I say pump 😂

FastMauveQuoter · 09/07/2025 21:41

Enigma53 · 09/07/2025 21:01

Beans beans, make you FART
The more you eat, the more you FART

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Or as Bart Simpson would say
Beans beans the musical fruit
The more you eat the more you toot.

In our house it was:
Beans beans so good for your heart
The more you eat the more you fart.

Also, on our house, we say bum notes.

LemonLass · 09/07/2025 21:40

Never cried laughing so much at a mumsnet post (sorry OP!)

There are so many types of fart/parp/bottom thunder/trump so names can depend on smell/sound:

Rasper is a big loud rattly one

SBD (silent waft that sneaks into nostrils aka Silent But Deadly)

What do you call the long ones that, if talking onomatopia, would sound like "poooooffffft!"

SprayWhiteDung · 09/07/2025 21:39

Rumbledepumps.

honeyytoast · 09/07/2025 21:38

GingersOwner26 · 09/07/2025 19:50

My dad married a woman who used to say “wooftie” instead. Fart was much less irritating.

wooftie??

SprayWhiteDung · 09/07/2025 21:37

SerafinasGoose · 09/07/2025 21:30

You’d hate Sweden, OP.

The Stockholm hydrofoil ferry is otherwise known as the farty gas service.

In Upper Austria, you can take the nearest Ausfahrt and visit the delightful village of Rottenegg.

Original poster
GospelOakCloak · 09/07/2025 21:36

My19thNervousNameChange · 09/07/2025 21:34

I ditched a boyfriend once for calling farts 'pumpydoodles'. Totally justified.

Omg yes!! 🤣

OP posts:
My19thNervousNameChange · 09/07/2025 21:34

I ditched a boyfriend once for calling farts 'pumpydoodles'. Totally justified.

paulhollywoodshairgel · 09/07/2025 21:32

We say pump or trump

Original poster
GospelOakCloak · 09/07/2025 21:31

Klp122 · 09/07/2025 21:22

Why are there so many recent threads about farting? Are you a fart troll, @GospelOakCloak ?

Gosh deffo not

OP posts:
SortingLaundry · 09/07/2025 21:31

I’m with you, op.

We say ‘pump’ in my family (my dads Scottish, my dear late Gran used to say it too)

It sounds less aggressive and a little more polite than the word fart.

SerafinasGoose · 09/07/2025 21:30

You’d hate Sweden, OP.

The Stockholm hydrofoil ferry is otherwise known as the farty gas service.

BebbanburgIsMine · 09/07/2025 21:27

I hate it too, it’s a horrible word!

I also hate s*t, just sounds so crude and unpleasant to me. I hate all swearing though, another one I’ve just thought of is “a*e.

Evolutionarygoals · 09/07/2025 21:26

My mum insisted we use the phrase 'botty burp'. I can still feel the gut wrenching embarrassment of accidently using it in front of my uni friends. I'd rather they'd actually heard me fart.

ArtTheClown · 09/07/2025 21:25

In Scotland we say pump.

Omg no 😂
Pump means shag in Scotland!

mbosnz · 09/07/2025 21:23

But what about a hearty mcfarty party?

AngelinaFibres · 09/07/2025 21:22

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/07/2025 21:11

Ohh yeah.....the follow through aka the fart you can't trust

Show quote history

A shart.

Klp122 · 09/07/2025 21:22

Why are there so many recent threads about farting? Are you a fart troll, @GospelOakCloak ?

AngelinaFibres · 09/07/2025 21:20

PickledMuffin · 09/07/2025 20:03

I hate the word fart too. it’s trump in my home.

My parents always called it a trump. "Has someone trumped?" I thought fart was a swear word until I went to secondary school. I heard the words 'fuck' and 'cunt' then too so fart wasn't anything like as interesting

TherapyFrog · 09/07/2025 21:15

I hate toot, trump and pumped.
makes me feel 🤢
Fart is better.

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/07/2025 21:14

SprayWhiteDung · 09/07/2025 21:12

We used to say Boff at school as well - which then morphed into Frank (as in "Euw, did you just Frank?") in our own childish rhyming slang.

We also used Donald for the same reasoning!

Edit: It wasn't actually rhyming slang, was it, as there was no rhyme?! Oh well, we thought it was rather clever word-play back then anyway!

Edited

You may have stumbled on the answer!

"Please excuse me, I have just Dropped a Donald"

SprayWhiteDung · 09/07/2025 21:14

If you also sneeze at the exact same time, that's called taking a screen-shot.

Waitingfordoggo · 09/07/2025 21:13

ZamaZama · 09/07/2025 20:28

A thread on here years ago introduced me to ‘blowing off’, which apparently was the polite term in op’s home. Most unpleasant in my book!

I was just about to suggest ‘blowing off’ which was the term we used when I was a child (80s, SE England)

SprayWhiteDung · 09/07/2025 21:12

We used to say Boff at school as well - which then morphed into Frank (as in "Euw, did you just Frank?") in our own childish rhyming slang.

We also used Donald for the same reasoning!

Edit: It wasn't actually rhyming slang, was it, as there was no rhyme?! Oh well, we thought it was rather clever word-play back then anyway!

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