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AIBU?

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Original poster

To HATE the word fart and just wish people would stop!!

144 replies

GospelOakCloak · 09/07/2025 19:40

Using this world all the time ! There’s no need !!

OP posts:
Dramatic · 09/07/2025 22:44

Ilikemymenlikeilikemycoffee · 09/07/2025 21:09

My DH from Newcastle does!

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Yeah I'm from NE England and we say it here too

meditated · 09/07/2025 22:40

BoldUser · 09/07/2025 22:12

My partner and their family calls it a “pardon me”.

As in “did you just pardon me?”

The grammar makes my head melt.

I taught dc to say pardon-me. ‘Did you do a pardon-me?’ But then they started school…

As pp, I also dislike rude/ swear words and fart sounds pretty rude even though people on here keep saying it’s the correct word.

scalt · 09/07/2025 22:40

“Not mentioning farts was a condition of your inheritance.”

Lady Whiteadder.

Evolutionarygoals · 09/07/2025 22:37

Throughahedgebackwards · 09/07/2025 22:14

Hearing another parent refer to a bottom burp is the reason that burps are known as mouth farts in our household.

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😂 I can't possibly use the phrase mouth fart in front of my 5 year old - we'd never hear the end of it - but I'm definitely going to be thinking it 😂

GoBackToTheStart · 09/07/2025 22:31

JMSA · 09/07/2025 20:24

Pump in Scotland. As a kid, the word fart was treated as a swear word in our house 🙄

Same in Newcastle/Northumberland! My mother would be horrified to hear me say it even now

Sudename · 09/07/2025 22:16

'left off a rasper'

Throughahedgebackwards · 09/07/2025 22:14

Evolutionarygoals · 09/07/2025 21:26

My mum insisted we use the phrase 'botty burp'. I can still feel the gut wrenching embarrassment of accidently using it in front of my uni friends. I'd rather they'd actually heard me fart.

Hearing another parent refer to a bottom burp is the reason that burps are known as mouth farts in our household.

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/07/2025 22:13

BoldUser · 09/07/2025 22:12

My partner and their family calls it a “pardon me”.

As in “did you just pardon me?”

The grammar makes my head melt.

OMG that is probably the most twee/cringe one so far!

BoldUser · 09/07/2025 22:12

My partner and their family calls it a “pardon me”.

As in “did you just pardon me?”

The grammar makes my head melt.

SerafinasGoose · 09/07/2025 22:11

SprayWhiteDung · 09/07/2025 21:37

In Upper Austria, you can take the nearest Ausfahrt and visit the delightful village of Rottenegg.

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Where's the laughter emoji when you need one?

I sound like Muttley after reading that post! Some folk are easily amused, eh?

FormerAnywhere · 09/07/2025 22:10

We used to call it a botty burp as little kids. Anyone else?

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/07/2025 22:08

Swonderful · 09/07/2025 22:06

I thought it was ....

Beans beans, good for your heart
The more you eat, the more you fart
The more you fart, the more you eat
The more you sit on the toilet seat

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I suspect its one of those that changes by region/family/country!

Idontjetwashthefucker · 09/07/2025 22:08

My ex called farting chatting shit

lemoncake29 · 09/07/2025 22:07

I find the word trump less palatable than fart. I know it’s supposed to be more polite but it gives me the ick.

Swonderful · 09/07/2025 22:06

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/07/2025 21:10

The rhyme I knew was

Beans, Beans, good for your heart
The more you eat the more you fart
The more you fart the better you feel
So lets have beans for every meal!

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I thought it was ....

Beans beans, good for your heart
The more you eat, the more you fart
The more you fart, the more you eat
The more you sit on the toilet seat

Mysterian · 09/07/2025 22:02

Trouser Cough?
Pumpy Pants?
Dropping An Air Biscuit?
Love Puff?

Grog123 · 09/07/2025 22:01

KitsyWitsy · 09/07/2025 19:43

I hate the word ‘wank’ as well. Horrible.

”wank!” It’s brilliant - perfect to shout it out as you trip over or drop something - or call someone a w*nkstain for driving badly ! I love it

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/07/2025 22:00

Notateacheranymore · 09/07/2025 21:52

Carpet Frog and Carpet Duck are both used in our house, depending on the exact tone of said tootle.

What NO-ONE wants is the Tandoori Whisper. That emission of death that is the result of a curry the night before (or the same night, depending on your gut speed) and is SOOOO much more than a Silent but Deadly!!!

Can clear a classroom of training squaddies in 5 seconds, no stress.

I mastered the "long drop" as I called it. If ex was out of the room (vile excuse for a human being) and I needed to fart, I would sit in his spot....hello sheldon....and let it go. So when he sat he got the full benefit and I could very truthfully say that no, I hadnt just farted and it only seemed to smell near him.

I dont think he ever figured it out!

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/07/2025 21:57

If we are naming by "types" then there is the "Little Tommy Squeaker" which I think is self explanatory!

SprayWhiteDung · 09/07/2025 21:53

If you're very good at it, you can earn yourself an extremely handsome living from your skills.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roland_the_Farter

Notateacheranymore · 09/07/2025 21:52

Carpet Frog and Carpet Duck are both used in our house, depending on the exact tone of said tootle.

What NO-ONE wants is the Tandoori Whisper. That emission of death that is the result of a curry the night before (or the same night, depending on your gut speed) and is SOOOO much more than a Silent but Deadly!!!

Can clear a classroom of training squaddies in 5 seconds, no stress.

Dotto · 09/07/2025 21:48

I hate 'drop your guts' and 'guff'

I like fart, or "pumpin gas, out yo ass"

My cousin says "pop-off"

BogRollBOGOF · 09/07/2025 21:45

I went running today. I did a fartlek session. Grin

There's a saying amongst runners... "never trust a fart after mile 20" Blush

paddyclampster · 09/07/2025 21:43

Air biscuit, blanket ripper, chocolate thunder, bowel howl!