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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think being married is… actually really nice?

60 replies

BeCalmWasp · 09/07/2025 19:26

I feel like there’s a lot of cynicism around marriage: the jokes, the warnings, the “ball and chain” stuff. But honestly? I find it comforting, grounding, and just quietly lovely.

AIBU to think being married is still something worth wanting, not just for tradition but for how it can feel?

OP posts:
Justwanttobebythesea · 09/07/2025 21:32

It’s nice til it’s not

Screamingabdabz · 09/07/2025 21:29

Yes I agree. Been married 30 years now. I’m sure we annoy each other now and then but we are still best friends, do everything together, and love hanging out with our adult children. He has always put us first and has been a solid partner and a brilliant dad. He’s my absolute rock.

JHound · 09/07/2025 21:27

SpikeGilesSandwich · 09/07/2025 20:04

Depends who you married I guess. I think I’d prefer the kind of marriage where you have separate houses.

I do love living alone!

JHound · 09/07/2025 21:25

Yep. If you have the right spouse I am positive it would be nice.

Glowinglights · 09/07/2025 21:20

I agree. We’ve been together for over 20 years and got married 9 years ago. I thought it wouldn’t make any difference but once married, it did somehow feel different. I enjoy the fact we have officially ‘joined’ our lives together.

TherapyFrog · 09/07/2025 21:20

Lovely thread. I enjoy the stability, grounded feeling and commitment from marriage. Quietly lovely is a perfect summary (for those in loving and equal marriages)

chatgptsbestmate · 09/07/2025 21:15

SpikeGilesSandwich · 09/07/2025 20:04

Depends who you married I guess. I think I’d prefer the kind of marriage where you have separate houses.

Me too! And the kind of marriage where you're not married ☺️

Soulfulunfurling · 09/07/2025 21:15

I enjoyed being free, but found marriage to be so loving, comforting and brings me a great deal of happiness for so many decades. I don’t usually say so, as I don’t want to appear smug.

cocolokiko · 09/07/2025 21:15

Yes I truly love it

WhistlingStraits · 09/07/2025 21:14

I agree. Being married is wonderful. We have loads of friends in happy marriages too, it’s the norm in our circle.

Giddykiddy · 09/07/2025 21:10

Had a long marriage before (19years) which ended badly - the last 5 were terrible. I've been with my second DH for 17 years - he is a wonderful partner and we are very happy

lifesalive · 09/07/2025 21:02

I've had a couple of long term relationships, and none have ever led to marriage. It is a huge regret for me. I just seem to be the type of woman that doesn't inspire men to do romantic gestures. Its a huge regret and point of pain to me now, at this stage in my life that my boyfriend isn't thinking about marriage. I'd love to have the feeling that this is it, and we're now tackling life together.

I am not prepared to start again, I'm too old, and too tired. Just disappointed.

Hollowvoice · 09/07/2025 20:21

Marriage is great with the right person. I got it wrong first time.

myturf · 09/07/2025 20:20

I wasn't expecting it to feel any different, we'd been together a while before we actually got married. But I really like it and it surprised me, the way it kind of enhanced the feeling of being a unit.

Praying4Peace · 09/07/2025 20:11

Lovely to hear such lovely messages and that there are such happily married people about.
I've never been married and raised my son alone. Can't imagine having someone to look after me or share parenthood with.
I'm not complaining at all.
I've learnt always been very independent and worked for everything and built a lot of resilience along the way.
I have friends and family who are in happy and unhappy marriages.
Lovely when it all works out

GroovyChick87 · 09/07/2025 20:04

Yes I love being married. I have been a single mum too and I was doing ok and happyish, but I love knowing at the end of every day that I'm going home to someone I love and who loves me. He is my best friend who I can relax with and be myself around, but my sexy lover too.

SpikeGilesSandwich · 09/07/2025 20:04

Depends who you married I guess. I think I’d prefer the kind of marriage where you have separate houses.

ImAPreMadonna · 09/07/2025 19:59

It’s worth wanting if it’s something you want.

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 09/07/2025 19:58

Love my marriage, adore my husband! Been together almost 20 years and can count on one hand the number of arguments we have had and only 2 of those were "serious" meaning we actually shouted at each other.

Finding someone you feel so connected to is wonderful, I took his name without hesitation and never worried at all that he would leave me high and dry when I became a SAHM for 10 years.

I feel so sad when people struggle in awful marriages.

S1K1PPSO · 09/07/2025 19:57

Of course, it's lovely being married to my dh. I knew it would be, but I didn't know how much and for how long ❤️

Luckyingame · 09/07/2025 19:56

Yes, it's cosy, as a PP said. Especially if you marry to make your already good life better.

YYURYYUCICYYUR4ME · 09/07/2025 19:55

Love being married. Known DH for 30 years, together for 28, married for 21.

BeachPossum · 09/07/2025 19:50

You hear about a lot of truly terrible marriages on MN, but for me, yes - it's wonderful. It enhances my life and sustains me in every way. I get to do every difficult, beautiful, happy, awful, exciting, sad, dull, wonderful day with my dearest and most beloved husband beside me. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Zuert · 09/07/2025 19:50

PermanentTemporary · 09/07/2025 19:46

Yeah I mostly liked being married and when it’s good it’s the absolute best.

This. When it’s good, it’s very very good. And when it is bad it is horrid

PermanentTemporary · 09/07/2025 19:46

Yeah I mostly liked being married and when it’s good it’s the absolute best.

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