Is this a crazy way to live or am I just jealous?

Op, you're jealous and bitter. Not a nice look.
Giving mean girl vibes too.

Why does she need to suffer just because you're unhappy?

It sounds like they can afford her lifestyle and are both happy with the arrangement. Your (jealous) thoughts on what she 'should' be doing are irrelevant. It has nothing to do with you.

If the brother was here complaining about it, yes. He appears happy with the set up. Someone only becomes a cocklodger when the person they live with is unhappy. OP also says her SIL keeps the house nice, so she isn't expecting the brother to do it all while she does nothing.
There is no double standard here, just jealousy.

You are SO jealous. I don't see it as 'inexplicable' to own a 3 bedroom house with no children. Why are you so concerned about what your SIL is doing?

Huh

This thread is fascinating... the sheer volume of mumsnetters who have no idea how to check their privilege 🙄

@mumtobabyhavoc- jugey much?
I was saying I just unfollow them!

Sounds absolutely wonderful and you are just jealous. Envy is the thief of joy.

You called yourself a NHS Slave? Christ. I think people who work for the NHS sometimes have abnormal views on work/lax boundaries. It’s not normal to consider yourself a slave to any employer - but for some reason NHS staff tend to see themselves as martyrs, or tend to think gruelling work conditions are just what everyone should expect/endure. Newsflash - it’s not. Your choice to work for a shitty employer isn’t mandatory and you’re not special as a result. You sacrificed higher income careers, for a poor work/life balance and ended up with a mediocre lifestyle in return. That’s all on you.

Personally I’m super ambitious, ended up on a high income & used that to build up some savings. I recently took some time off work for a few months. It’s been cathartic being able to travel, relax, engage with hobbies and simply not work. I have really been able to reconnect with myself outside of being a salaryperson. I don’t really see why that is anyone else’s business or something that people would judge me for. I’m not living off the state lol. I have been able to do some home renovations, set up space for hobbies etc. It’s not a given that grown adults can only have a shitty junk filled box room or whatever you were going on about. If you don’t like your life, just change it.

This is pure jealousy, fueled hatred and it will eat away at you.

Does she know you’re posting about her like this on a public forum?

Eh? Nothing odd about that. Don’t tell me you didn’t know that other people have different incomes, homes, domestic arrangements, than you? You sound very jealous.

Our lifestyle is similar, but different. I work full-time. My husband gave up work at 52 to be a full-time house husband. We also have three dogs so I guess he’s a full-time dog dad as well (although that term had be er occurred to me). I have an office at home because I WFH full-time. The company I work for is over 3000 miles away and that’s too far to commute.

We have no children but have 4 bedrooms (not including the office but the office wouldn’t work as a bedroom as it has a glass door). One bedroom is for my hobbies. One bedroom is our bedroom and the other two are for guests. My husband has a separate studio for his art stuff.

Some of us earn more. That’s all there is to it.

Oh and I just dropped down to a 4 day week to give me more time for leisure!

Sounds like you need to reevaluate your lifestyle OP, as you clearly aren't happy.

Nor is it realistic for most 40 somethings to have a spare room to cater to their studies and hobbies!

We've got 4 big double bedrooms between 2 of us, and will do forever (never wanted kids, now in our 40s).

We have a room each for work and hobby stuff. It's fantastic!

Well it sounds like she's won the lottery really doesn't it?in reality though. She isn't earning and is at home a lot .lucky doggy though no being home alone or waiting for a walk.look you Don know if she did want DC at any point. Most women do and she may have issues which she has pured onto being a "doggy mum" you sound envious.

You’re jealous.

Yeah, that one bothered me as well. It's vile to imply that somebody is lying about a health issue.

Victim 🎻

She sounds a bit spoilt and probably self absorbed but you do sound jealous. Not really your business how they live tbh

My husband and I had a 3 bed as our first house when it was just the 2 of us, and bought a 4 bed when we had our son. Not sure it’s anyone’s business how we choose to spend our money. We need a spare double room for visitors (PILs come to stay regularly) and I need an office. 3 beds is hardly a mansion. My mum and step dad have 4 bedrooms and there is only 2 of them, my grandad in his 80’s has 4 beds to himself ! All bought and paid for so I don’t see it as a problem. Would have an issue if it was social housing with empty bedrooms but that’s a whole other thread!

She has a great life. She's lucky to have a beautiful, tidy home, her own space to study and work, and the pets she chooses to have. Why should she change a wonderful life? Would you like her to get a job and a few children so she feels as stressed as you do, and becomes less happy, so you can feel better about it all? You're so jealous of her it's pathetic you've even considered posting this.
Her world is real, and it's a great world.

Absolutely!! Crazy people here who chop and change 🤣 I think it's a strange set up and she seems lazy and unmotivated. I would be ridiculed by my ILs if dh kept me. Even with dc.

Op any chance you are from my culture? Because in-laws are very gutsy in my culture and have no boundaries. South Asia?

8 rooms in New York? 🤩

You have spoken to your brother about their relationship and lifestyle? You are poking your nose in their business. If they are happy, why it bothers you? Seems like you wanted to cause an argument between them.

It’s obvious you are jealous as you go on talking about being an NHS slave.